Relationships can be so vulnerable

Something happened that made me rethink the way I treat relationships or friendships.

I rushed out of house today to meet a friend. At the point when I boarded the bus, I discovered with a jolt that I forgot to bring my pink EZ-link card out. The blue one that I had on me did not have any value left. Not wanting to go back to take my pink card that has value and be late, I asked around on the bus if anyone has change. There was a bespectacled Fairfield secondary boy who took out $2.50 in the form of 2 $1 coins and 1 $0.50 and passed it to me. And the most incredible thing was that he refused to take my $2 note when I gave to him for exchange. He kept insisting that I take it. I was so surprised but I insisted that he take the money since my intention was to exchange it for coins and never to take money from anyone. In the end, he had was no match for my insistance and took my note.

The whole incident made me realize something with a jolt. A week ago, someone treated me like thrash over a mere $15. He hurt me with his words and made me feel so cheap over such a small amount of money. He was a close friend and yet he was willing to hurt me over such a small amount of money. On the other hand, the bespectacled boy, who was a total stranger to me, was actually willing to give me money so that I would have the money to take my bus, een though the amount of money was not a lot. It just startled me when I realized that people can really turn into something else when they are dealing with money. And it made me discover something else too. Then I realize that only myself alone can have the power to make me feel cheap, no one else can. And its only when I allow others that they have the ability to hurt me.

And I am not going to allow that anymore. The world is selfish, if I do not protect myself, no one will and if I get generous, people are going to be selfish towards me.

The ironic thing is that when I was on the train, I searched my bag and found out that I did bring my pink EZ-link card out, its been hidden from view thats all. Perhaps it was meant for me to not find the card so that I can have the realizations that I had.

Perhaps.