Enjoyment onscreen?

I have been crawling around in cyberspace, feeling really empty and not knowing what to do, other than perhaps scolding Ozzie for tearing her pillow up into pieces. Guess shes as bored as me. In fact, I have been having some kind of writer's blog. I think I have ran out of ideas to write for the moment. In order to pass time, I even had to resort to surfing pornography, which in the end, caused me to end up feeling even more empty.

Porn; such a simple word but yet brought so much revenue and earnings worldwide. The single mention of the word is enough to bring about funny stares from the people around you. I believe most of my friends would not even believe that I actually surf porn. I do, perhaps out of boredom but more likely out of curiousity. But hey, I am a normal healthy girl with curiosity too! And besides whats wrong with surfing porn, other than the fact that one might get addicted.

Admit it. I believe at least 80% of the people in this world do have thoughts at one point or another about the complicated involvements when filming humans getting gratifications from mating in millions of creative manners and positions. At the very least, out of curiousity if not out of sexual urgings.

The question that I can never answer myself satisfactorily about this lucrative industry is "how on earth can the actors involved be able to commit those acts in front of the cameras without feeling any emotions?" Don't they feel cheapen by the mere sight of people staring at them? Don't they feel like a piece of meat doing what they do while they are being filmed? Don't they feel empty after that?

The whole idea of having sex with a stranger is enough to send my head whirling as to how these actors can tolerate the feeling of someone whom they have never met touching them all over. And the fact that they do it in front of cameras is enough to push my mind to the limits. Are they really enjoying themselves as shown in the pictures and the videos? How can they even bring themselves to committing such acts onscreen? For the life of me, I just can't seem to understand how can anyone get satisfaction sexually onscreen. Perhaps I am just a naive girl but I just can never understand it though this is still a valid question, ain't it?

As to whether I feel anything while surfing through sites and pictures of women engaging in acts that they are supposedly enjoying, it would be abnormal for me to say that I don't. I am a normal healthy girl too. But in the end, I have come to the conclusion that porn is just a way for boring people like me who have nothing better to do than see people mate and supposedly enjoy it. I will never for a second believe that they are truly enjoying what they are doing. In fact I refused to believe that. Its such a blasphemy to bring the act of making love to that animalistic level. No way.

And I felt empty after scrolling through the sites. I felt more lonely after that. I should have just join Ozzie in her lunatic destruction of her pillows. At least I enjoy some company even though its with a crazy dog. Cute nonetheless but still crazy.