Tuesday, February 21, 2006

End of A Chapter

I really feel like closing this chapter of my life. Its been too long and too late for anything else. As such, I think I am going to end this chapter with this. I just had to let it out. Finally.

I had been too immature, too impulsive and too playful. I provided you with a form of distraction from your problems while you provided me with a form of escape, escape from my failures.

We will never be together. There would be too many frustrations and too much anger. We were just too different and too apart. The result was the incessant clashing of characteristics and resulting arguments.

It was never meant to be exclusive but still, feelings are so damn hard to control. I was always waiting for something to happen and I was tired of it. I put on hold many things and yet, nothing happened. I was so tired of waiting and yet I continue to wait, and continued to get disappointed. I never told you what I wanted for fear of scaring you away and also to keep the times that we were together free from such nitty-critty matters. Finally I could not take it any longer. I was tired of holding my breathe.

I am glad that you hurt me actually. It just made me dead and force me to start from afresh again. I wanted to never get involved in such games again. I don think I can play by the rules.

This is it, no more dwelling into what happened again. THE END!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Bored ah!

I just realized that I actually have so many people on my Adium account..

I am bored.

In Search of Memory

Am having some sort of stupid writer's block here, damn, must be a virus that i caught from DK. So just to fill up some space in my blog and to satisfy the curiosity that you have towards my boring life, I am going to relate a couple of funny incidents here.


A couple of weeks ago, I was on the bus travelling back home from work when I heard someone called my name. Turned around and there was this Malay guy whom I found to be vaguely familar. He chatted me up and we talked as if we were the longest of pals. From buying Toto to where he lived and what-nots.

The bus reached the terminal and we parted ways.

And I still had no idea who the hell he was.

Next funny incident.

Someone called me during the weekend and I could not recognize the number, which was not unusual because that my number is too easily accessible. 50% of the calls that I received everyday would be some unfamilar numbers.


"Hello, you working today?" A lady babbled out as soon as I answered my phone.

"Erm, nope." Trying to squeeze my brain as to who the caller was, for fear of embarrassing myself in the event that she was someone I know.

"Good" She answered back, still not telling me who she was.

"Ookay.. But who are you?" Gave up trying to recall her. Too tired to bother.

"Oops, wrong number." She hung up.


Last story for the day in the life of Ms Iris Teo.

Came down from my office and my colleagues had to talk to their general workers. So I was strolling alone happily towards the exit of the building when a group of 3 Indians workers walking in my direction waved at me and called me.

"Hey, Iris, haven't gone home ah? So late ah?'

"Yah, on my way back already. You also so late wat.."

"Yah lah, we going home already." They replied, waved more and then walked towards the warehouse.

I have never seen them before in my almost 1 year of working there.

Conclusion: I am getting blur-er and losing my memory.


A Love Letter

Dear Son,

The day that I am old, have patience and try to understand me.

If I get dirty while eating, if I cannot dress, have patience. Remember the hours I spent teaching the same thing to you.

If, when I speak to you and I repeat the same thing thousand and one times, do not interrupt me. Remember the times when I had to read the same story to you a thousand and one times until you get to sleep while you were young.

When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame nor scold me. Remember the times when I had to chase you around in order to get you to bathe not too long ago.

When you see my ignorance with new technologies, give me time and not your mocking smile.

When at some moment I lost my memory and the thread of our conversation, allow me some time to get my memories back. If I cannot, do not be frustrated with me for the most important thing is not the conversation but having you listening to me.

When my tired legs do not allow me to walk, lend me your support for it was not so long ago when I lend you my hands during your first few steps.

Some day you will discover that despite my failures, I always wanted the best thing for you and I tried my best to pave the way for you. Try to understand me and support me as I had shown you when you started living. Help me to walk, help me end my path with love and patience. I will pay you by a smile and the immense love that I always have for you.

I love you son,

Your father.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Pissed off, pissed on

The thing that irks me the most when I am travelling is when other people are invading into my personal space, men in particular. Its totally disgusting. Take note however, that I am not merely ranting here. Rather its cos of a pent up frustration from getting bumped about in a crowded public transport that totally pissed me off.

I was on the train this morning. The train was actually not very crowded and there were some spaces between me and a couple of people standing near the door. I was standing beside this guy who looked to be in his forty. Me and him were holding onto the pole near the door. Everything was fine until he started to doze off while standing. And started to lean very close to me. At first, I thought he was really tired and move away a little, as much as I can.

Then he started to move with me. And started to lean against me again. Bloody hell. Not only that, his hand started to slide down the pole and rest against my hand. Fucker was not up to no good.

Though totally pissed, there wasn't anything I could do and fortunately, the train arrived at the station in minutes. Hastily, I moved away from the pole, intending to rush out as soon as the door opened. I did not want to give that bugger any chance to have any body contact with me again.

Door opened and everyone rushed out. And as predicted, the bugger's hand accidentally brushed across my butt. Fucker! Asshole!

Thing is, it might just be an accidental brush but then again it might not be. There wasn't anything I could do but to brush it away as an accident, while silently cursing myself for not moving away faster.

Damn it.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I like him but he don like me

This is rather amusing, there are actually quite a number of people who are curious as to how I am spending my V-Day..!

In the morning, it was the girls from my department. Since they would be going out for their hot dates with their boyfriends, they were dressed rather nicely. And it was then I realized that its Valentine's day today. I did exclaim yesterday that its V-Day today and gave my colleagues quite a laugh. I actually forgotten about it till I saw the date while working! Heh, guess it kinda show how low romance is placed in my list of priorities! Then again, whats there to celebrate when there are no lovers to share the day with?

And so I told the girls, "Today confirm no one will work late, all go for V-day celebration already!"

"Got! You lor!"

"...................." Thanks hor ladies. Thank you very much hor..

And since I was having another bout of craving for McDonald's McWings, I kinda "dated" DK out for our frequent McWings suppers. And kinda saved him from wallowing in misery over his lack of dates on V-Day.. Hey, I did a good deed today!

So, I went home, took a shower and prepare myself to come out of the house when my mum, rather estatically came to me and said, "Going out ah? With who? That guy who came to our house previously ah?'

One can almost smell the happiness from her, emitting from the fact that her very single and available daughter was able to celebrate V-Day with a member of the opposite sex.

"Going to have dinner. At McDonald's" And all her smiles and curiousty just went out of the window. Hah!

And at that precise moment, M and HY called me. We bantered on the phone for a while at which he told me that he and HY was worried about how I will be spending my V-day. If I am spending it alone, I can just pop by and have dinner with them. How sweet! Then again, I would be wrecking their V-day, and would probably ended up feeling really shiny like a lampost! But I really never thought that they are such sweet and nice people actually, wow.

To cut the story on my boring V-day, I had dinner with DK and as ususal, I felt like shitting after that. Damn, there goes my diet.

"Its not that you don have any guys but its cos you don want mah." DK said to me while waiting for the bus.

"Who says. I want but he don want. How lah?"

Then it struck me that I actually said something along that line for the second time since Sunday. An acquaintance was asking me about my romance and I told her, "I like him but he don like me, then how?"

How strange is that? An omen perhaps?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Bankers and feminism

So, I went to Val's engagement today. She looked totally gorgeous. And so happy. Its weird how love would just strike without knowing. She and her hubby were together for just slightly more than a year and they are going to be together forever. She was truly radiant today, the wonders of being in love. Her hubby, on the other hand, looked totally tired and worn out, perhaps from the stress of organizing the event and all the running and hosting. So tired that he actually spoken the wrong thing during the vows exchanging ceremony!

And it was then I realized that I actually have so many friends who are bankers! Its like 90% of them are working in the banking industry. I think I actually know at least 1 person in all the banks in Singapore! Anyone who wants to buy financial products, I have lots of deals here! Heh! And it would seem that bankers seem to know each other. And the grapevine is so strong that any news or rather gossip would just travel so fast that its really very scary.

As usual, when you put a group of ladies together, you would get...... Gossip! And since I need some male opinions here..............

What would any of you Y chromosomes organism here do if a pretty young lady flirts outrageously wth you, with the intention of spending a ONS with you? Would you reciprocate or would you ignore her?

Well, the way I see it, whoever in the world has heard of rejecting a free lunch. And since males are more dominated by their, should I say, primal urges than females, I would say all males would more than willing bang the girl like no one's business. Even if he is attached or married. Men are such vulnerable assholes sometimes, not that the girl is not cheap. It takes a slut to tempt a dickhead and he would just forget about his other half, letting his cock rule his better judgement.

On another note, is it the girl's fault if she is pretty, smart and was hit on by a charming but married guy? And she rejected him? Of course not! But apparently the girl's boyfriend thought so. So I asked, "if a girl was raped, then its the girl's fucking fault?!" What the hell.... Sometimes I have no idea how you pinhead males really think.

Somehow every time I had a gathering with the girls, I would just end up turning into a bitchy feminist and my opinion of men would just nosedive further. And then get all foul mouth and such. I think if any guys were around, our swearing would just put them to shame! Hahahaha!

Of shopping and Crispy Combo

Shopping with the opposite sex can be such a refreshing experience, especially when it involved not one, not two but three men, well, at least for a short while. Then again, shopping with 2 guys was also rather fun.

The JR gang, or whatever that remains of the gang were supposed to meet out for a gathering yesterday. We were supposed to go for KTV and then the Prickly Bush. Turned out, the latter was closed, while the former was not a good choice since 2 members of the gang had to run earlier. So we went to talk cock at Starbucks instead. Sigh, whats the point of meeting when you guys had to run off to meet other people?? Tsk tsk tsk.

Anyway, I certainly wasn't about to go back home since I was already out. Besides, home was empty yesterday and I would just end up facing my iBook with Ozzie irritating me in the background. So, I wanted to go shopping. With 3 guys in tow. Well, I did give them an alternative of going home or just going off. I did not mind shopping alone actually. However, being the gentlemen that they were, HJ, DK and Tan wanted to go along with me. After a while, my 3rd bodyguard had to leave for another appointment and I was left with only 2 guards.

The most interesting episode of the day was however not the shopping itself, but rather the dinner with HJ and DK. We went to the The Cafe Cartel, which if anyone had been there before, had a self-ordering system. Patrons would jot down the serial numbers of the food that they want on a writing pad and then make their orders at the cashier. My 2 guards were feeling rather full since they already had a meal before me. Both were saying that they would not want to eat that much and stuff like that. I, on the other hand, having skipped lunch was rather hungry so I made my order and passed the ordering pad to HJ. And then DK went to the cashier and made the order. Which was then he realized that our dear HJ had written down the wrong serial. Instead of just potato wedges, Mr HJ had ordered for a combo set for 3 persons!

In the end, we had 1 potato wedges, which was the correct order.

1 macroni - correct order but it sucked big time, do not ever ever order this when you are at The Cafe Cartel.

1 ice cream waffles - correct order.

1 huge Cripsy Combo consisting of more wedges, chicken wings, shrimps, 1 gigantic piece of chicken cutlet and 1 gigantic fish fillet - wrong order!.

In the end, we did manage to finish all the food, with the exception for the macroni (cos it sucked), which was quite a feat considering that out of the 3 persons having the meal, two were supposedly to be full and the third was a girl! It was rather hilarious actually! I was just telling the guys that it was a lucky thing that HJ ordered the 3 persons combo and not the 5 persons combo. That would be a diaster. And my diet just nosedive deeper into the toilet bowl, again...

In any case, I had a fun day shopping. Thanks for the company guys! :)

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Finances and feng shui

I am very bad at managing my finances. Lets see..
  1. I do not have any insurance policies, not even a life policy.
  2. I do not allocate a fixed amount of my salary for savings. Basically, I just spend what I need and make sure that my savings acount is just of the acceptable level at the end of the day.
  3. I do not have any debts or loans. My uni tuition fees have all been settled.
  4. I do not have any credit cards or any other loans with the bank
So essentially, my finances are just savings, and the only bill I pay is my internet bills. Hell, I don even need to pay for my mobile phone usage!

This arrangement is fine by me but after a while it gets kinda scary when I realize that I am not protecting myself very much. What happens when I get involved in an accident or stuff like that? And I don think savings alone will be able to cover my retirement requirements. Beside I am still young, so I definitely am in the position to take up something which will force me to save and at the same time make my money grow. Putting everything in the bank is rather boring and stupid actually if you think about it since the interest rate is so tiny that its virtually invisible.

Conclusion, I suck big time in managing my finances.

And with that in mind, I asked for some help. And this is where Cons came into the picture. She is going to be my personal financial advisor! Heh, I never know that my JC mate will be my personal financial advisor! Cool!

To cut the story short, I spent the night with her, catching up and talking about stuff, stuff other than financial products. Suddenly all my Econs and Financial theories are coming back to me.. *sweat*

Anway, we also talked about how she actually went to consult a feng shui master to help me look at her future. She told me quite a lot of surprisingly stuff about her session.

And then it just came back to me. When I was just in my teens, something freaky happened to me, related to palmistry.

It was one fine day when I was chatting idly with my grannie, at least thats how I remembered it. And then the conversation turned into palm reading and she read my palm. She said I will have a bad marriage, one that will be 3-way and I will fail in my marriage, after which I will remaine alone.

I think it was about some time later when my auntie was reading my palm for fun when she said I will get involved in a triangular relationship, one which will end sourly.

And then, i think it was sometime later when an elderly uncle whom I was temping for during the holidays read me and my sis' palm to find out how many children we are gonna have in the future. When it came to my turn, he told me that I will not have any kids cos my marriage will not succeed so no need to even consider having kids.

So, you tell me, how freaky is that?

It may sound really stupid but thats perhaps my main reason why I do not wish to get involved in a proper relationship.

Cos I am afraid that all these will be true.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Diet goes down the hole.....

I just got an official letter from HR today, confirming my promotion.

The best thing was the pay raise. I shan't say how much was the raise but it certainly make my day, heh..

With that also comes the increment of my handphone allowances. I can now use a maximum of $50 each month, up from the previously $30, which is really quite a lot cos most of the time, I am the one answering phone calls and not the other way round. So now, I think I am going to use my sms more often, must make full use of my phone allowances..

On another issue, I am supposed to be on diet actually, much to the amusement of my colleagues and friends alike. For one, I always seem to be on diet, with no apparent success and for another, no one actually believes that I have the determination to stay away from anything that is edible. You are all wong!

But this 2 weeks certainly wreck my dieting plans left right centre and upside down. Boss wanted to treat the customers a CNY lunch and so brought me along since I am handling these accounts. So essentially, for 2 days in a week, I will be having hao liao for lunch, ranging from dumplings to shark's fin. Which means that, I had buffet for lunch (company treat for the CNY) on Mon, a super full dinner with parents to celebrate mum's birthday on the same day (cost me 95 bucks.. damn painful..), 6 course lunch with customer today, Thai shark's fin lunch with another customer on this Fri, Western meal at some hotel with yet another customer on Mon, dinner treat for colleague next Wed and finally, lunch treat for another bunch of colleagues next Sat.

Die... my diet is definitely going down the toilet bowl...

Monday, February 06, 2006

Who are you?

A little life trivial here, cos I am feeling sucky and bored at the moment.

You often hear such stuff when you were penning your primary/secondary schoolmates' yearbooks. From then till now, so many things have changed and perhaps its time to re-evaluate yourself.

1) What is your favourite colour?
2) What is your favourite pastime?
3) What genre of music do you like best?
New age
4) How many best friends do you have?
About 5, I think, at least I consider them as my best friends, though I have no idea if they feel the same way
5) How many people you know whom hates you?
1 and it still hurts to think about it
6) Who are you?
I have been alive for a quarter of a century and still have not been able to answer this question. I don know, I really have no idea
Ok, the last question is added in by moi. Its perhaps too complicated for a primary school kid's pea brain. But still, its an interesting question to ask. And answer.

Walking testimony of fats

DK told me this is the funniest thing hes ever heard and CB seems confounded as to how such a thing can even happened.

I got promoted. And got a scolding from my boss in an email the moment I stepped out of his room to read my emails.


Although, my boss did warn me about the email that he was going to send me, the feeling of being scolded in an email with your customers, your AM in the loop still sucked, really big time.

In the end, I did not even feel good about getting the promotion. In fact, I was just considering about throwing in the towel when boss just gave me this promotion.

Now thats what I called a twisted twist of fate.

Speaking of fate. Heres a little trivial about fate or rather fats. Cons kinda abandoned me after the tattooing session yesterday and not wanting to wander around alone in Orchard, I saw CB online and asked him out. Heres how our conversation went like.

"If you happened to see me in Orchard, then its fate lor." The ball said.

"I don really believe in fate at the moment." Thats me.

"Do you believe in fats then?" Look whos talking.

"I am the walking testimony of fats, so I guess ya."

"Yup." Asshole.

"Besides, I happened to be talking to another walking testimony of fats so I guess it kinda make my belief in fats a little more solid."

"Yup." At least this reply sounded slightly better, just slightly.

I still ended up wandering around in Orchard alone though.

When is anyone going to take notice of all the black words in my blog?

Your body is your temple

And I happen to hate mine. Well, to a certain extent, that is.

Its like a love-hate relationship. I guess all females are about the same, we have a love-hate relationship with our body, our temple. Sometimes I feel so ashamed of mine that i don even feel like going out and show the world this ugly piece of creation. Other times, I would feel really bouncy and on top of the world and proud that I am endowned with a wonderful healthy body that its rather scary to even think about it.

And tonight happened to be one of the nights when I hate my body so much that I don even wanna look at myself in the mirror, just to stay away from that ugly sight.

And it was just yesterday when I didn't even think twice about revealing my ugly body to the tattooist, although the pain is really hell. It hurts so damn much. Its hurting now even as I am sitting down typing out these words.

Yes, I went to extend my turtle. My tattoo now looks a little like a bat from afar and the turtle can only be seen if you know where to look.

The most ironic thing is the more I hate my body, the more I would want to do something about it. Perhaps thats one of the reasons why I tattooed myself.



I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate everything in my stupid life.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

13 Wonders

Ok, the title is just to capture your attention. I did not win on 13 Wonders before in Mahjong. Almost, but nope.

Val jio us out for a drink at Tango's last night. She wanted to pass her ROM invites to us. I seriously have great difficulties believing that this cha bo is getting married! She is definitely not the type to get married at such an early age. She has the beauty, the brain and the wit but she is too defiant for any men to tame her. Gosh, from the way she talked and most men would just shy away from antagonizing her.. In short, she is very fiesty and quick for most people. And she is getting married. Phew, love does work in strange ways.

Hmm.. come to think of it, this is the 2nd of my close friends who are hitched. First, Emily, then Valerie. I am suffering big loses in ang baos.. Damn...


During the drinking session, Valerie brought up the topic on mahjong and I complained that I did not get to gamble during the CNY, not even blackjack and I am dying for some serious mahjong session. Me, Val and Janice were talking so much about mahjong and we decided to end the day playing mahjong at Val's place with Val asking her friend to join us as the 4th leg. And thats when my losing streak began.

For the first few rounds, it was still fine. I managed to win some and was rather happy about it. And then for no reason, my luck just nosedived. I lost rounds, after rounds, after rounds. My tiles were quite good actually but before I managed to complete the arrangements, someone would always beat me to it. It was so damn frustrating..!

And then we changed position, or rather changed "wind" and Janice, sitting at my position, began to start losing. My luck did turn around by a little and I managed to recoup some of my losses. The 3rd person to sit in my place was Mitchell and he also started his losing streak. So, in the end, we all agreed that my initial place was jinxed. Sigh..

We played rounds, after rounds, after rounds and the hours just crept by without us noticing. Tick tick and soon it was nearing dawn. After which I was so groggy from the lack of sleep that I began to doze off while playing and missed some rather important tiles thrown on the table. At some point, I was like dazed over what was happening on the table and got so confused that I had no inkling of losing.

In the end, I lost $35. Ended up had to take Valerie's mum's ang bao money to pay off my gambling debt and I also had to borrow from Janice to take a cab home. How pathetic was that!

Reached home, tried to watch my newly downloaded CSI episode but kept dozing off. Decided to crash for the day and before I knew it, it was already 12pm by the time I woke up. Lazed around, finised watch my CSI and then went to bed again. I was totally knocked out from the mahjong session. Phew.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Happy Birthday

This is probably really stupid but oh well.. I've got unlimited pages to put in my blog so...

If you are reading this, Happy Birthday to you.

Stay optimisstic and try not to be so hard on yourself.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Random pictures

Some pictures that I took over the CNY.. I am just so glad that I bought my new phone...

And the stuff that I bought today.. Phew..

Random bloggin's

The festive holidays are just gone like that, just like that and the funny thing is, the eve of the holiday seemed to have just passed. How time travels!

I am on leave today, supposedly. I am always very uneasy when I go on leave. Firstly cos I am the only one in the department who is doing what I am doing and secondly cos as most of you guys know, my mobile is given by my company implying that they or my customers can call me 24/7, anytime of the day. If given a choice, I'd rather be paying for my own phone, I am just sick of answering phones.

Anyway, back to my uneasiness. True enough, early in the morning, at around 9am, I received a call from the office. Was sleeping at that time and in my grogginess, I hung up on that person. Too sleepy to give a heck. Then 2 hours later, I received an sms from boss, asking me who is supporting me since I am on leave. To cut the story short, I settled everything after an hour but the feeling of receiving a call due to work when you are on leave suck. Big time. And its only 1 day leave. Imagine if I were to take a week..

So now, after a night at Eelin's place, (no lizards, cockroaches or beetles adventures by the way), I am back at home, twiddling with my iB again. She has offically labelled me as an internet junkie or an internet whore. I proudly admited to that, just to irritate her. I had so much fun playing with her Mac-mini-flat-screen-TV internet connection by the way, though I had to squint my eyes a little since the distance is a little far away for me.

For some reason, I think my eyesight is deteriorating. I have the most uneasy feeling that my degree had increased since the last checkup. I still have not attained perfect vision and I am supposed to go back for another thorough check up. And this time, I have to decide if I want to go for another operation. If my eyesight is getting worse, I think I shall go for it. Thing is, this time, I have no companion to do it with me. And the worst thing is, who is going to take care of me when I just came out of my operation?

Oh well, just have to wait for the reports to be out before I allow myself to worry about such stuff. Anyway, I am going for a checkup in Mar, I am looking for a companion again to go with me, whos on?

I am such a bitch sometimes..