Tuesday, November 29, 2005

"Racket down and back!"

Had my weekly tennis lesson yesterday and it was rather fun. If only I was able to hit the ball all the time, then it will be more fun... Yah, I seemed to have some problem hitting the balls.. Don laugh..

The thing is, there are very specific techniques to mastering tennis. Its not as simple as just holding the racket and then hitting the ball with it. Even holding the racket requires tactic too. Unlike badminton, which made use of a light and thin racket and the player only need to rely on the strength of the wrist to master the game well. Tennis, on the other hand, requires a heavier racket and a very much different set of rules all together.


My coach was getting rather exasperated with me cos I seemed to be avoiding the ball instead of rushing forward to hit it.. I am that stupid...

But once I managed to get the hang of it, it was actually very fun, and tiring, of course. I am so used to play with a badminton racket that I just need more time to get use to hitting with a tennis racket. Phew.. And the funny thing was that the more I played tennis, the more I would want to play badminton, how ironic is that..

Anyone game for a session of badminton? Its been ages since i held a badminton and sweat it out with a racket..!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Wherever you will go

So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face
If a greater wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone could you make it on your own.

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days
If a greater wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Well then I hope there's someone out there
who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go

Unreasonable nonsense

I have no idea why I have such a hot-tempered family. Dad is hot-tempered, sis is hot-tempered, bro is hot-tempered, I am hot-tempered. In the event of any quarrels, no one wants to give in and all hell would break lose.

Dad has been getting more and more unreasonable. Having gotten woke up by Ozzie, he went and blasted at sis for having a dog. Whats new. And as usual, sis refused to give in. They are already not talking cos neither want to give in to each other, and a shouting match resulted. He complaining that Ozzie disturbed his sleep and he has to wake up early in the morning next day, she shouting that hes being unreasonable again.

If you really want to have enough sleep in order to wake up early in the morning, then go to bed instead of shouting at her lah! Bloody hell! Waste time shouting at her for fuck when you know she is not also going to give in?! You are in a bad mood and so want to use us to spend your anger?! Stupid bloody unreasonable idiot. Fucking stubborn and unreasonable.

The day I am financially stable enough to move out and live on my own shall be the day when I am out of all these fucking nonsenses. I have enough of your unreasonable hot-tempered tantrums. Don even blame us if all of us decided to move out and leave you alone.

I am evil and scary

My thoughts these days have been rather violent and scary. Its like my suppressed violent nature has been showing itself more often and its scaring me a little. Thoughts like humans getting squashed, getting run over by cars, squashed by containers, slammed between trucks etc. Thats not the worse. Sometimes, when I see a baby, I would imagine it getting hurt in some freak accident. This is so bloody scary.

The thing is, everyone of us have these scary thoughts but normally we would be able to surpress them, keep them at bay from your sanity and make sure that they will stay as thoughts, not actions. We may not be able to control our thoughts but we certainly can make sure that these thoughts are not being acted out. Make sure that reality is being separated from the imagination.

However, having said that, it would seem that my mind lately has been acting weirder and weirder. The rate at which I have been having these very violent and these scary thoughts are getting more and more. Sometimes, I would be terrified of how I am able to imagine these scenarios while during other times, I would be quite impassive towards them, as if I am dead, not affected by the images.

I think I am losing my sanity. Or perhaps I am becoming too imaginative. Or maybe I am just letting my surpressed violent self showing itself. Who knows, one day I might just end up hurting someone??

*evil laugh*

My Christmas Wish List

The season of giving and sharing is here and I have a list of items on my wish list..! Anyone wants to sponsor me these Christmas presents?

Ok, maybe not. But I am most definitely going to have them as soon as I receive my year end bonus. Cross my fingers and pray that its three months as predicted... *prays hard*

1) 12-inch Apple Powerbook

Anyone has any student discount to lend me? I am most likely to get this darling by next year Jan, if possible and if my finances allow me. In the meantime, I intend to sell away my faithful iBook. Any takers?

2) A new wallet

Its about time I changed my wallet or purse as what Eelin called it. Its a tad too large for my taste, I have no idea why on earth did I even get it in the first place.. Stupid. A Pierre Cardin one would be nice, though I would prefer it not to be black. Too boring!

3) iPod Nano

Perhaps if my finances really really allows it, this darling would be a definite yes. My poor iPod mini is so going to be obsolete.. Hmm, come to think of it, maybe its a good idea to just continue using my mini first..

4) A wall fan

The one in my room had spoiled and for the past week, I had been sleeping without a fan or an air-con. Fortunately, the weather these days had been quite cooling with a slight breeze cosntantly, otherwise, I might have to move to my living area to sleep on the floor at night..! This is one Christmas present that is a must..!

5) Another tattoo

Heh, this is so predictable of me!

Ok folks, this is my wish list for Christmas this year. Not that hard eh? Any takers? :D

Saturday, November 26, 2005


Eelin suddenly had an urge to binge, on fried chicken wings to be exact. Asked me out to join her after her cell group but that will be late. Figured that since I got nothing better to do for the night, might as well join her. Damn, I really should stay away from high cholestrol food..

Anway, worked late, came home and tried to get my bloody torrents to start to no avail. Had no idea what the hell was wrong with my router or modem or my stupid iBook. Idiot. Ended up toggling so many things that I got into a very bad mood. Frustrated the hell out of me.

And my parents started to irritate me. They nagged at me, as usual, asking why did I have to go out at such a late hour, who was I going with and what would we be doing, etc. The usual questions. Don't they ever get sick and tired of always asking the same bloody stupid irritating questions. I really had a good mind to tell them that I was meeting a man, going to spend the night with him in a hotel and would not be home for the night. Kaoz.. When will they ever learn to trust me. For goodness sake, I am capable of thinking and taking care of myself!

In the end, ignored them totally, changed and left the house, with my Dad complaining loudly to my Mum and my Mum shouting at my insolence and fucked-up attitude. Damn it. Its only a simple supper with Eelin and its not as if they never met her.

Then Eelin stayed overnight at my house. Mum and Dad were surprised that I came back so quick. For fuck sake, I had already told you people that I would take a short while! Sigh..

Don't your parents get into your? Mine really irritate the hell out of me and I am tired of all these. Damn, how do you ignore the people you love most? Reasoning, ignoring, shouting, quarrelling, arguing do not seem to work. Damn.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


The miracles of life, isn't it wondrous..? The meeting of 2 such tiny little cells and then a life is formed.

I was watching an episode of CSI earlier and it showed explicitly the process of how the sperm and the egg met and then viola! a baby is formed. Amazing and truly spectacular.. The first few stages of human life are so mystic and miraculous.

One of my colleagues was admitted to the hospital due to some complications in her pregnancy. Apparently, her baby wanted to come out earlier than predicted and freaked her out. Me and a few colleagues went to the hospital to visit her. There were actually 2 areas in the hospital, one wing was specifically designated for deliveries. Somehow, we lost our way and ended up in this wing. This was my first time looking at newborns, and by that, I meant babies who are just barely few days old, some still in the incubators or whatever you call those machines that suntan the babies cos they were borne prematurely. I was so amazed by the whole spectacle, although the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the babies were that they looked very wrinkled, like dried prunes.. heh..

And while visting my colleague, I put my hand on her swollen womb and felt her very bloated and pregnant womb. The whole sensation was just weird. It was neither soft nor wobbly as what I had always thought it to be. It was very hard and I actually felt some uneven edges, perhaps the baby inside was lying in an awkward position and thus the uneven edges on my colleague's tummy.

And so, tonight's CSI prompted me to write about the whole experience. Its amazing how humans are formed. How one earth does 2 single cells merged and create a new being, one with bones, legs, skin, eyes etc? Something so tiny that even the naked eye cannot see and yet have the potential to create something so alive? Its so mind-boggling..

Anyway, as me and my colleague were talking, I came to a conclusion that I would not want to have a baby. Call me chicken or call me selfish but I am not willling to be responsible for another life. Having a baby does not only encompass giving it life, it also involves bringing it up, providing for it and then making sure that it turn out alright. Physical pain is just superficial, I would be more afraid of being responsible for a healthy but crooked person than the physical pain of going through child birth. Besides, I doubt I have the ability to bring up and educate a child properly when I am not a saint myself..

That said, I would certainly want to have a child of my own when I am old and my maternal instinct kick in. Just as what someone once told me, children are the only way for us to live forever.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The man

He looked to be in his fifties and was in a pair of berms with an oversized denim shirt. He had a cap and a mustache. He was also holding a pink umbrella and he spoke perfect English.

"I was on my way to meet my wife in Bt Panjang and on my way there I had to collect my mother's medicine from a clinic. However, I have 2 problems. First, I have no idea what bus to take from Bt Batok to Bt Panjang. Second, I do not have enough cash to pay for my mother's medicine. Do you think you can help me there? Does bus 187 goes to Bt Panjang? And can you spare me some money for my mother's medicine?"

"Yes, you can take 187 to Bt Panjang. How much do you need?"

"The medicine cost $15 and I have a few dollars with me. Do you think you can spare me a few dollars?"

"$5 is all I can give you"

"That would be fine. Thanks. Do you live around here so I can return you the money?"

"Forget it. Its ok."

Throughout the whole conversation, he did not look at me in the eye and was forcusing on something behind me while he was talking to me. After giving him the $5, he scooted off quickly to the bus stop to catch his bus, without even thanking me properly.

I did not know if his story was true or he was just faking it but i gave him the 5 bucks that he wanted. Call me naive or stupid, but to me $5 was just that. Its little but at least it did help this man brighten his day. Perhaps, he really did not have enough cash for the medicine for his mum although it would be really interesting to know how old his mum was at his age cos he already looked to be in his fifities, or perhaps he was really assuming that I am a naive girl and was just out to bluff me but whatever the case, my $5 was enough to make him feel happy so why not? Besides, I had some spare cash and I was in a good mood to make some people's life happy. God knows how much happiness is lacking in our cold world!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Of DVDs, gums and custom

Its a warm night and I had been at home the whole day, just chilling out basically and watching movies, TV shows, freshly gotten.. Just don ask how I got it though.. ;) Its certainly been a long time since I got to watch the latest episodes of my favourite US TV shows. Phew. I think some of the developments in between were lost.

I also got a chance to watch the DVDs that I brought back from JB. Six titles but I only really wanted to watch one, Corpse Bride. Funny show, cool animation but too bad I did not watch it on the big screen. It would certainly be a cool movie to watch on the silver screen, with the fresh, bright colours and all.

Anyway, I was just thinking. How hard it was to bring illegal stuff to this tiny red dot without getting caught? I am not talking about bring bulks of banned stuff in of course but little quantity for self-enjoyment. Pirated DVDs, gums, (for the benefit of non-Singaporeans, our beloved government actually banned gums to keep our city clean and free of those disgusting spit gums) and cigarettes. Certainly, our custom is very strict when it comes to bringing stuff into Singapore but the fact is I let my bag through the x-ray thingy that they have at the custom checkpoint and I can bet that whatever I had inside my bag was very clear to the officer manning the machine but he did not even gave it a second look. The stuff that I brought in is enough to throw me behind bars though I strongly doubt they would care what I had inside my bag. The officer was more engrossed in checking out the facial expressions of the people going through the checkpoint.

On the one hand, I was selfishly glad that nothing happened to me when I brought the stuff back to Singapore but on the other, wouldn't it be a little risky to just let people through without checking their bags more throughly? What if some pyscho decided to bring in some bomb or something like that or what if some drug peddlers decided to bring in some coke or meth pills? Little by little so they would not get caught? And since the amount is small, they might just succeed in slipping through under the nose of our customs withouth them even noticing.

Whatever.. As long as I have my DVDs and gums and I am a happy little girl already..! :)

Love of the Common People

Living on free food tickets,
water in the milk from a hole in the roof
where the rain came through.
What can you do?
Tears from your little sister,
crying 'cause she doesn't have a dress without a patch
for the party to go.
But you know she'll get by

'cause she's living in the love of the common people,
smile's from the heart of a family man.
Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to,
Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can
and she can.

It's a good thing you don't have a busfare,
it would fall thru' the hole in your pocket and you'd lose it
in the snow on the ground.
You got to walk into town to find a job.
Tryin' to keep your hands warm
when the hole in your shoe lets the snow come thru'
and chills you to the bone.
Now you'd better go home where it's warm,
where you can live in a love of the common people,
smile from the heart of a family man.
Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to,
Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can
and she can.

Living on a dream ain't easy
but the closer the knit the tighter the fit
and the chills stay away.
Keeping 'em in stride for family pride.
You know that faith is in your foundation
and with a whole lot of love and a warm conversation
but don't forget to pray.
Making you strong were you belong
and we're living in the love of the common people,
smile's from the heart of a family man.
Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to,
Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can
and she can.


Originally uploaded by blurfroggie.

Sister's parrot.

She is currently teaching Toto to meow while my mum is teaching her how to laugh.

And my dad is teaching Toto how to say my chinese name.

I bet Toto is really confused now.. Poor Toto

Stupid moderation

I just realized that I turned on the "comments moderation" function and as a result, whatever comments will not be shown unless I allowed it. Problem is, I have no idea when the hell I turned on the function!

Stupid stupid!!

Ok folks, sorry for this slight hiccup in posting your comments.. Keep them comin' please, I love to read your comments..!

Thanks to DK for telling me about this..!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Blurry blurry vision

Went back to JB for my eye examination today. DK was really sweet enough to accompany me there cos I just couldn't find anyone to go with me. I would have gone there myself if not for the fact that the eye examination would make my vision really blur cos of the eye drops to dilate my eye muscles which would restrict my pupils from contracting and as a result, my near vision would be really blur. I cannot even see the outlline of my palm when put right in front of my eyes. Everything has to be at least an arm's length away for me to see clearly.

As usual, Ah Beng and gang asked me to get some stuff from JB back. DVDs, cigarettes, gums etc. Aye, DVDs again.. The previous batch of DVDs that I brought back for them cost me someone dear. On the other hand, it was not a bad thing too cos the whole experience kinda made me stronger and more defensive, even though it hurt a lot.

Ok, enough of this crap.

The kind people at Optimax were very professional. Apparently, the slight short sightness that I am having now is caused by my cornea. However, the power is very low, 50 in my right eye and 75 in my left eye. I can undergo another operation to correct it but the chance of over-correction is very high due to the low power. In the event of over-correction, it would depend on my eye muscles to correct the over-correction. If however my eye muscles are not strong enough, I would be stuck with long-sightedness forever. Ultimately, there would be a 50-50% chance of having perfect vision. My test result would be passed to the doctor for review and he would advise me better after studying my case. Troublesome..!

After that, I brought DK to my favourite Japanese restaurant to have dinner. Pikachu!

Walked around a little after that and got my DVDs, a pack of cigs and 2 bars of gums, some cakes for my folks and then headed off home. Also managed to see a Cheverolet Corvette on display there. Cool car..!

As usual, there was a jam on the causeway. I hate going through the custom, esepecially the M'sia side. Its messy, slow, stuffy and the place is so crowded.

I am so glad that I am back on Spore soil once again. What a tiring day!

I need a gigantic plaster

"People who hurt us and are not repentant are not worth our time.'

I used to be very optimistic and believe that the true nature or humans are good. People do not want to hurt others for no reason cos most people are usually defensive, never offensive in treating others. I was naive, so damn naive. And I learnt my lesson the hard away. So hard that the wound cannot seem to heal properly cos for some twisted reason, I don want it to heal. I am that twisted.

And so it continues to hurt. The worst thing is, its not a physical pain. Skins may tear and bones may be broken but ultimately they are just physical pain. Its the emotional pain that hurts more. Emotions are not tangible, they are unseen and yet can be clearly felt, so much so that more often than not, its even worse than the physical pain.

Aye, I think I need a gigantic plaster to stick the wound back and prevent my itchy fingers from tearing the wound open again.

Friday, November 18, 2005

New Look

Was told that there was something wrong with the commments function of my blog so revamp it.

I like the new look!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Vision for loan?

I am in big trouble...

I have to go back to JB this Sat on 19 Nov to have another round of eye check up. Apparently, the specialist found out that my eyesight is still not perfect yet (no shit, Sherlock) and I will have to undergo another round of check-up to determine the cause of the imperfection. If its due to the thickness of the corneas, I would have to go through another round of Lasik, free this time. But if its due to the loose muscle of the eye, then there is nothing much Lasik can do.

The problem now is not so much of the operation but more of who will be able to go with me. During the test, the muscle of my eyeballs will be relaxed artificially, much like the first eye examination that I had the previous time. And I will be effectively blind, well almost, for the next day or two. And therein lies the problem. I need another set of eyeballs to help me orientate.

Conclusion: I need a companion to go with me. To be my sight. Otherwise I might just end up in KL instead of Spore at the end of the day.

Anyone willing to take pity on me and go with me? I am willing to pay for the transportation expenses, can even throw in a lunch or dinner meal if you really want...


Sunday, November 13, 2005

Mr Brown & his codes

What a roller coaster ride! Phew, a true adrenaline rush manz....!

I started reading this book only last evening and I had already finished this book about 10 mins earlier.. I even managed to go out shipping with CN in the afternoon but still managed to finish it within such a short time. I was hooked by the story and the fun I had with the codes inside, even though its not a lot..

And its really irritating that I can't seem to break the last one:


Clue: this is a Cesear's box code..

I can't wait to have Deception Point in my hands..!

Edit: Finally found the code. Its rather lame.. "We are watching you"

Fits the title but super lame lor!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Of novels and escapism

I love paperback fiction novels, and I would read whatever I could lay my hands or rather eyes on. Just letting my eyes run across the sentences that are poetically strung up by words. There is something so mystic and wonderful how a couple of words when put togther can take you far away into another world, the imaginery world that is conjured up entirely by the writer. Its just like seeing a huge screen in front of you and watching all these words turning into images and situations which one cannot even possibly even begin to fathom in reality. There were times when I actually prefer to read than to watch a movie and all who knows me will know that I love watching movies.

The first book that I ever laid my hands on was titled, "The Monkey's Tail" or something like that, by Enid Blyton. It had a hard purple cover and as expected, had a picture of a monkey on it. Mum gave it to me when she saw that I was amazed by the monkey on the cover. I plonked myself down in the living room and spent 2 hours devouring every little details of the stories inside the book. After that, there was no return, I was hooked. I can't stop reading.

For a while Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl were my constant companions. I just could not get enough of them. In school, the other kids were playing by the field or chatting during lunch while I was always sitting at the stairs or inside en empty classroom reading. As a result, I was kind of ostracised by the kids in school. I was loner, always with a book in my hands and just couldn't seem to fit into any groups. A weird bespectacled little girl who actually prefer reading to playing.

After that, Enid and Roald no longer satisfy my reading desires. They began to get childish or its just that I grew out of them. I moved from children books to Sidney Sheldon, Stephen King, David Eddings, Judie McNaught, Anne Rice, just to name a few. From fantasy to romance to adult themes to horrors, everything and anything I could get my hands on. I basically devoured them all. I read so much that my folks were afraid of me turning a nutcase cos I basically would shut myself out from reality when I read. In fact, I would ignore everything and concentrate so much on my books that I could finish a normal paperback in less than 2 hours.

Over the years, reading became my way of coping with reality. The truth is whenever I met any difficulties that I can't solve or met with any emotional problems that I can't cope, I would read. It has became my way of hiding and forgetting about the unfortunate issues that I met in real life. Its my way of seeking solace when things spiralled out of control. However, there were times when books no longer provide me a portal to the fictional world. These were times when things were getting so out of control that words no longer provide the much needed solace that I wanted. I effectively gave up on reading for the past 1 year or so. Somehow, fiction failed me.

Now, I resolved to go back to my favourite hobby. I want to take back control of my life again, no matter how boring it is. The fictional world is so much easier to control than the reality. Entering the dark world of physchological thrillers involving sick and twisted serial killers and forsensic science or journeying through imaginery flawless kingdoms occupied by mythical creatures are so much better than dealing with the hypocrisy that is so prevalent in the reality.

I am back to reading.. :)

Friday, November 11, 2005

Something atrocious

I was on leave today. Was intending to go down to touch up my tattoo or perhaps even extend the current one but was told by my tattooist that I would have to let the skin heal first cos the inner layer had still not heal fully so if I were to poke at the skin now, it would hurt like hell.. I actually did not mind and sort of insisted but the tattooist just refused to do it for me.. Damn.. Wasted trip...

And so I was loittering in town for a couple of hours trying my dardnest trying to figure out how the hell to spend my leave. Even comtemplated returning to office but did not really want to waste my leave. Bleah.. I got so bored and nothing seemed interesting to me. Somehow shopping alone when you were bored was really a bad, bad idea.. Damn...

And so I went home.. Bleah.. Tired, no tattoo, feet hurt from the heels. Heels are a torture when you are lugging a large bag of documents. (I went to a meeting in the morning).

Now I am in front of my iB again, trying to think of ways to spend my day. And then I saw SPG's blog and her pictures. Hmm, interesting.. I am in the mood for something atrocious.. Perhaps I might just emulate her and post pictures of myself here. Wearing nothing but I doubt the effect would be as good as hers, considering that hers were taken in a studio taken by a professional photographer. I have always wanted to pose in nude. Perhaps I might just go be a nude model! A fat nude model! Hah!

I am bored.. Taking leave with no purpose in mind is really a bad idea but hell, I am tired and I desperately need a break manz..

I think I am going to order pizza and stuff myself while reading a book.. Bleah..

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I need more C

My confidence profile.. Not a very socially adaptable person..

(Thanks, Phillip for this questionnaire)

You are a person of integrity. You are not at your best in social situations – you might consider yourself to be shy – but you perform well in more formal settings and sometimes surprise your peers by your competence in making presentations.

You are able to deal with people at all levels and will hold to your beliefs even when challenged by a person of greater seniority or 'authority'. Your tenacity makes you a valuable member of society and a loyal friend, although you may sometimes feel that this is also a social handicap. You are frustrated when people with little integrity appear to be more popular, and might wonder why their weaknesses are not perceived more clearly.

Your social skills are relatively undeveloped. You have the capability to make great gains in your social skills. By utilising your natural intelligence, you can learn some of the techniques which others apply unconsciously; over time, these skills will bcome natural for you. The benefits to your social and romantic lives will be considerable. The key benefit to your working life will be a broadening of horizons, as you are considered for roles which previously had been denied to you. By enhancing your physical presence, you can also gain greater recognition from colleagues and from potential relationship partners.

Funny, but this was exactly what my boss said about me.. I need social skills..... Bleah...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Fallen.. so low..

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Sick, literally & metaphorically

I am sick, literally and metaphorically.

Sick physically cos I am having a sore throat and a little feverish. Again. Fuck.

Sick metaphorically cos I am tired, tired and sick of my life, waiting for something to happen everyday but nothing much seems to be happening. Sick of the dreadful and boring life that I am leading every single bloody day. Sick, sick, sick..

I think I am going to have another tattoo this Friday when I am on leave. To be more precise, I think I am going to extend the current one to my lower back, all the way to my butt. Or maybe I am going to tattoo my ankle. Or how about a long one extending from my calf to my ankle. Or maybe in the near future, I hope, when I have really toned up my tummy, I am going to have a navel ring.

Funny how it seems like only self-inflicted, or rather self-bought pain can make me feel alive. Literally.

Or its just cos pain is addictive.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Big bear

Its funny how sometimes when the person you least expected will sail right back into your life..

I have not talked to Tobi for the longest period of time. Its either cos of my busy schedule or due to the time differences between Germany and Singapore but whatever the case, its been so long since I talked to him. Too damn bloody long..!!!

Tobi is one of the sweetest guy I have ever know. Hes a real friendly bear and I have always enjoy talking to him. I have yet to meet another guy who is like him, there is just something really warm about him, something which I cannot find words here to describe.. Just something warm and nice.

We used to be able to talk to each other for the longest period of time. I even stayed up until the wee hours of the night just to chat with him. We sent gifts to each other on each other's birthday and he even made videos of his hometown to me. I still have them by the way. I love the winter scenes of the woods. If I ever have the chance I would definitetly go there to freeze my butt! Heh heh, thats a funny thought... And then there was that time when I even phoned him, all the way to Germany. I think I blew like 15 bucks over the half-an-hour phone call! I still remembered how we were a little shy and a little awkward when we talked over the phone for the first time..! We can still do that again right!? :D

Ok, big bear, the next time I am going to Europe, I will appoint you to be my official guide! You better make my trip worthwhile or I am so going to kick your butt!! :D

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Moonlight Shadow

The last that ever she saw him
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
He passed on worried and warning
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Lost in a river last saturday night
Far away on the other side.
He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight
And she couldn't find how to push through

The trees that whisper in the evening
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Sing a song of sorrow and grieving
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun
Far away on the other side.
He was shot six times by a man on the run
And she couldn't find how to push through

I stay
I pray
I see you in heaven far away
I stay
I pray
I see you in heaven one day

Four am in the morning
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
I watched your vision forming
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Star was light in a silvery night
Far away on the other side
Will you come to talk to me this night
But she couldn't find how to push through

I stay
I pray
I see you in heaven far away
I stay
I pray
I see you in heaven one day

Far away on the other side.

Caught in the middle of a hundred and five

The night was heavy but the air was alive
But she couldn't find how to push through

Such merry tune, such sad words...

Misunderstood turtle

Poor turtle of mine, you are so misunderstood.. Some thought you were a stingray, some thought you looked like a bat while others thought you were a butterfly. And the horror when some told me you looked like a certain part of the woman's anatomy! Oh dear...

Perhaps to save all the confusion, I should just tattoo "turtle at home" under you!

Just kidding..

I think I am going to name my turtle. Its part of my body now too and calling it turtle just does not seem right..! Whoever in the world calls part of their body turtle, as funny as that sounds!

Anyone got any bright ideas? Some suggestions would be nice. I am looking for some unique names, nothing too corny or horny here please, cos I am already too corny and horny already. Thank you. :D

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Urine or smoke?

Saw this at Johnny Two-Thumbs today.. Cool and attitude, I like!

So, the next time anyone want to smoke when they are in my company, better think twice cos I might just piss on their head... !


The end thing
Originally uploaded by blurfroggie.

I did it, I finally went ahead and got a tattoo! Painful though!

Its been the longest time since I wanted to get one and everytime, me and Constance always managed to find some excuses to put off. Actually, not excuses, more like setbacks. Its either financial issues or we can't find the designs that we like or the locations that we want to place the tattoo.

And then last week, that woman jio me out and said shes going ahead to do it. Good idea cos I am really tired of postponing it. And so today, we were in the hands of 2 scary tattooists at Johnny Two-Thumbs and were drawn! Heh, funny way to describe it though..

The ordeal was not as traumatising as thought though.. It was like having a sharp needle scrapping a picture on your bare skin. Initially, I was so scared that I clenched Eelin's hands so tight but after a while, I think my skin turned numb so its tolerable. By the way, the needle was actually slightly longer than my palm and it was a lucky thing that I only got to look at it after my "ordeal".. Sweat.. I had mine at my lower back while Cons had hers at her lower tummy. Both of us were poorer by 200 bucks after that.. That was actually more painful than the physical pain siah...

Our skin are still very raw and we bled a little too. Its quite large. Cons' design stretch all the way down to her lower abdomen while mine is wide stretched across my lower back. .

Perhaps I might just add some more extension my tattoo and enlarge the whole picture..! I love it!


Originally uploaded by blurfroggie.

Meow Meow, one of the Tham family's baby. She is really unpredictable. One moment, she can be purring at you and then the next, she will be hissing and scratching at you.

A chio bu though!