Saturday, July 16, 2005


There are so many things that I wanted to say here but which I can't really. There are so many things that I want to tell everyone here but I can't and there are so many things that I want people to really listen to me and let me pour out my heartfelt sorrows and desires but I can't. Simply because I just can't seem to make myself heard. There are just too many noise that will drown and distort my shouts.

Have you ever felt such intense pain that it actually hurt you physically? The pain just struck you out of nowhere and took you by such surprise that you had no way of dodging it and end up getting hit right into your heart. That pain is so real and so incredibly strong that you just have no idea what to do. There really is nothing much you can do actually other than enduring it and waiting for it to go away. Whats left after that would be a deep scar. Time will heal the pain but the scar will remain forever.

I just realized that I have been getting very depressed lately. I have no idea why. Its just that I felt very isolated. I felt like there is nothing to look forward each day, no goals and no motivation to live another day. I have this out-of-body experience whereby I am looking inside a small glass ball. Inside the glass ball, there is this girl called Iris and she is stuck inside this glass ball for eternity, unable to escape, unable to breathe and unable to get out of her glass ball. I felt so suffocated, like I am drowning in a sea of dark and swirling water, with the unknown beneath, waiting for the right moment to pull me into the waters and drown me.



Raggatt said...

Dear Iris: You are an incredibly gifted and soulful writer. I am identifying with you completely. Life is frustrating and often an excercise in "quiet desperation." But there's no way to avoid change. Good things and bad things don't last. I also suffer from depression which I think many times is a "dark night of the soul." I entered that phrase in Google and got alot of interesting information. God bless, I'm going to bookmark your site!

Iris said...

Thanks pal..!

I am really flattered by your compliments and I am glad that you like to read about me.. :)