Monday, October 24, 2005

Sex, love, virginity, marriage.

Why is a woman expected to stay a virgin while there are no such expectations on a man? Society does have its twisted imposition of opinions on woman and the way she should live. Its just so sick and twisted. You have movies like "The 40 year old virgin" making fun of men who are virgins when they are old and yet you have corny jokes talking about woman who have not been fucked before and the usual negative connonations that come with it. And yet there is always this underlying implications that come with girls who are not virgins but who are not married. And most of the connonations that come with it are usually negative.

I am just so sick and tired of all the comments about how hard its to find a virgin girl in our society. Most of the comments made by guys who are not virgins themselves or worse, who like to play the field. On the contrary, I know of a lot of girls who are still virgins. Its just a matter of coming out of the closet for them.

What confused me deeply is the ideas and emphasis that people place on virginity. There really is too much emphasis on the big V. Advocates of post-marital sex would always give the reason that one should reserve the special moment of fucking the first time until their wedding night. And when you ask them how special, most of the time, its just a simple "Its just special." So I ask, whats so special?

I am not an open person and yet I am not naive too. If you can tell me how special that special is, I would concede defeat. Just make me understand how special it is to fuck for the first time on the wedding night? And how special it is if the 2 person getting married are virgins and have to confront sex for the first time, creating so much awkwardness as a result. You get my point?

And I emphasized that I am not a loose person and neither am I a feminist in saying what I am saying here. In fact, I am anti-feminism. Its just that I find it really unfair for the society to impose their ideas and expectations on women to stay a virgin until they are married and yet if they are still a virgin when they are old, not married, they will be laughed at. At the other end of the spectrum, men are expected to lose their virginity as soon as they are "mature" enough to understand how humans mate, otherwise they will be considered lame, pun intended.

Men have needs, so do women. Society often forgets that. Sex is only sex, its how one priorities sex and love that matters. If sex is only so superficial while love is supposed to be something deep, then it does not really matter if one is a virgin until one get married. In the end, its the heart that really matters and the feelings that go with having sex. The emotional feelings, not the physical ones.

5 comments:

DK said...

V very hard to find liao lah. Both guys and gals.
But who cares? Right?

Iris said...

No lah, actually a lot of my friends are still virgins. I even had a friend who married her virgin husband and she was also one. Her hubby was about 30 years old when they got married..

I think its a matter of preferences, whether you want to remain a virgin or not. Its should not be a big deal in marriage otherwise whats the point of marriage??

DK said...

I feel that virgins should not be a criteria in finding life partner.

Always wanted to ask this question to those pple who feel that virgin is important:-
What you meet the person whom u truely love and he/she also love u deeply. But u discovered that he/she is not a virgin.

Will you break off with that person?

rijac said...

for some, its not their own opinion. they are guided by their religions and customs. or perhaps, misguided....

i guess its a case of 'to each his own'.

putitthisway said...

Its notso much of what a spouse done before marriage.....its what they do after the vow and during the marriage that matters.....and yes, that is something which I believe in and practice......cause I am no angel....