Wednesday, October 05, 2005


I really should learn from my mistakes. I am such a foolish empty-headed stupid idiot.

All of them are the same, its for the thrill only. They came, they took and then they went away. And all the time, I let them. Its just so mindless.

Sometimes, I really wonder why on earth did I even bother thinking about the stuff that I did. Its not as if its something wrong. On the contrary, there is nothing right nor wrong with it. Its just a feeling and at the moment, I felt used.

Sometimes, I would rather be so numbed that I don feel anything. Without feelings, then there will not be any distractions now, will there? Its so frustrating.

No one cares, so why should I.


rijac said...

alamak... sounds serious... what happened?

Launa Lazariuk said...

Respect, try, if you can not to beat yourself up over it. Theoretically speaking, that's how we all got there in the first place.

How I have managed to end up feeling used, in terms of having a boyfriend, is by having sex almost immediately in the relationship and going out with the person without getting to know them.

Sure enough it happens all the time, like a slap in the face- HAHHA you asked for it. I don't approve of that attitude, it just tends to be the case.

That people have ignored their feeling and thus other people's feelings is what has perpetuated and continues to perpetuate the negative using situation.

I know you know better. But I realize how much easier it seems to just not care. DOn't give up, have faith. People do care and don't let others be the measure of your judgements.
Once you really have faith that people care, you'll see that they do, they are just afraid.

DK said...

Well.... someone still cares...

Iris said...

Wow, Jennifer.. It takes a woman to know another.. And I tot I am cryptic enough in this post until you hit the bull's eyes with your comment..

thanks.. :)

Launa Lazariuk said...

Maybe doesn't take a woman. Perhaps, just someone who has had similar experiences and who has put so much effort in understanding why things have happened to me the way they have.