Its always work, work and more work, to the extent that I actually like working. In fact, I would feel weird if I don work late. I am always the last one to leave the office and sometimes until the office lights switch off by themselves, freaking me out in the process.
At many times, I would be asking myself the purpose of what I am doing. In fact, I am always asking myself this question. Is there any other purpose to my life other than working and the living each day, day after day. I am still young, well, at least younger than most people. And being young have a lot advantages. Time and tide waits for no man. I want to live my life to the fullest, experiencing anything that I can experience. Hell, if given the opportunity, I might just go for something extreme like travelling to the end of the world, or something like that.
The reality is, I am living in such a fast-paced society. Its so fast that sometimes I also have my difficulties catching up. Breatheless is the best word to describe. And the fact that I grew up in this society makes it even harder for a stranger to believe that I would have my difficulties getting accustomed to the pace. I wake up at the start of each day, go to work and then suddenly its night time and its back home in front of my lappie, tapping furiously in my blog. Its the same everyday.
Why? Can anyone tell me the purpose in all this? Why do I have to spend more than half of my lifetime chasing? Chasing for something which only satisfy me materialistically? I want something deeper than that. I want more. I believe there is more. The only problem is what is the "more"? And not knowing makes it even harder to grasp the meaning of life. Like most people, I am so restricted without even realizing it. Restricted in the material sense.
Humans are so terribly bound by our wants and desires to possess. We desire for this and crave for that. Wants and more wants. Our whole society is propelled by our desires. Come to think of it, if humans have no desires to possess more, I think our whole civilization might just collapse. Cos our economies are being driven by our wants and desires, and thats what is sustaining our societies. In fact, I was just asking myself this question this morning when I was on my way to work. Am I able to just let go of what I desire and possess, everything that I ever want and have, my family, my friends, my physical possessions, my achievements, my status and just walk away from those whom I know, those whom I love and those that I have. Just leave everything behind and just disappeared from the face of the earth, living my life in solidarity?
If I can just do that, then it would really be freedom.
Freedom, such a simple word and yet most did not realize the true meaning of that word. Its not simply the ability to do what you want but more of the ability to not be restricted in every sense. To feel free is to not have any desires and not to want.
Am I making any sense here?