Sunday, September 04, 2005

Memories (part 2)

Sometimes when you least expected it, past memories would just come back and hit you right in the face, forcing you to confront them and strike you in the heart, making you remembering your pain.

Being so busy for a while allows one to take refuge from the memories and the pain. It also lets one enjoy some temporary relief and prevents one from getting suffocated by all the memories and the anger. Yet, all that are just so temporary. When all the work have been finished, all the memories would just flood back. They are like parts of an old movie being replayed over and over again in a theatre. And you are the sole audience strapped down on your seat, forced to watch the painful movie in that old and dark and lonely theatre. Frozen on the spot, unable to move and forced to watch all the images being projected on the huge screen. Images that bring about happiness, sadness and the beginning of it all.

And when the memories came back, they really come back with a vengence. Waves and waves of them, coming back and hitting you right in your heart. Places, people, actions and words just made these memories even clearer and the pain sharper.

Its during these times when I would prefer to remain busy, working until I am dead tired at the end of the day so that my body does not have the energy to even think. Just so that these memories would have no chance to come back and force me to confront them.

I would do anything just to forget


DK said...

Instead of using work to relief yourself frm the painful memories, why not use happiness to drown them?

Stay happy, and fuck those unpleasant memories lah.

Anonymous said...

letting go of the past is always super difficult but we have to try all means to forgive n forget.. after wat I been though these few years, I think forgive n forget is a way of my life so that I still will have the urge to live life positively :) take care iris and may u able to forgive n forget + let go of the unpleasent past.. its most of the time not our total fault that unpleasent memories lived with us for a long time.