Life

The miracles of life, isn't it wondrous..? The meeting of 2 such tiny little cells and then a life is formed.

I was watching an episode of CSI earlier and it showed explicitly the process of how the sperm and the egg met and then viola! a baby is formed. Amazing and truly spectacular.. The first few stages of human life are so mystic and miraculous.

One of my colleagues was admitted to the hospital due to some complications in her pregnancy. Apparently, her baby wanted to come out earlier than predicted and freaked her out. Me and a few colleagues went to the hospital to visit her. There were actually 2 areas in the hospital, one wing was specifically designated for deliveries. Somehow, we lost our way and ended up in this wing. This was my first time looking at newborns, and by that, I meant babies who are just barely few days old, some still in the incubators or whatever you call those machines that suntan the babies cos they were borne prematurely. I was so amazed by the whole spectacle, although the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the babies were that they looked very wrinkled, like dried prunes.. heh..

And while visting my colleague, I put my hand on her swollen womb and felt her very bloated and pregnant womb. The whole sensation was just weird. It was neither soft nor wobbly as what I had always thought it to be. It was very hard and I actually felt some uneven edges, perhaps the baby inside was lying in an awkward position and thus the uneven edges on my colleague's tummy.

And so, tonight's CSI prompted me to write about the whole experience. Its amazing how humans are formed. How one earth does 2 single cells merged and create a new being, one with bones, legs, skin, eyes etc? Something so tiny that even the naked eye cannot see and yet have the potential to create something so alive? Its so mind-boggling..

Anyway, as me and my colleague were talking, I came to a conclusion that I would not want to have a baby. Call me chicken or call me selfish but I am not willling to be responsible for another life. Having a baby does not only encompass giving it life, it also involves bringing it up, providing for it and then making sure that it turn out alright. Physical pain is just superficial, I would be more afraid of being responsible for a healthy but crooked person than the physical pain of going through child birth. Besides, I doubt I have the ability to bring up and educate a child properly when I am not a saint myself..

That said, I would certainly want to have a child of my own when I am old and my maternal instinct kick in. Just as what someone once told me, children are the only way for us to live forever.