Sunday, November 27, 2005

I am evil and scary

My thoughts these days have been rather violent and scary. Its like my suppressed violent nature has been showing itself more often and its scaring me a little. Thoughts like humans getting squashed, getting run over by cars, squashed by containers, slammed between trucks etc. Thats not the worse. Sometimes, when I see a baby, I would imagine it getting hurt in some freak accident. This is so bloody scary.

The thing is, everyone of us have these scary thoughts but normally we would be able to surpress them, keep them at bay from your sanity and make sure that they will stay as thoughts, not actions. We may not be able to control our thoughts but we certainly can make sure that these thoughts are not being acted out. Make sure that reality is being separated from the imagination.

However, having said that, it would seem that my mind lately has been acting weirder and weirder. The rate at which I have been having these very violent and these scary thoughts are getting more and more. Sometimes, I would be terrified of how I am able to imagine these scenarios while during other times, I would be quite impassive towards them, as if I am dead, not affected by the images.

I think I am losing my sanity. Or perhaps I am becoming too imaginative. Or maybe I am just letting my surpressed violent self showing itself. Who knows, one day I might just end up hurting someone??

*evil laugh*

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