Smoking and me

I am always bewildered by why on earth do people smoke. Let see.

First of all, smoking kills. Which everyone knows.. It totally wreck your heath and screw up your body, especially your lungs. For goodness sake, you are breathing in tar, the same substance that roads are made up off! What good can it do your body..!

Secondly, its damn expensive to smoke in Singapore. The duty, the GST are enough to kill you every month if you smoke. Its akin to dumping your money into an abyss. The more you throw in, the more you will want to get throw in, cos of the addiction.

Thirdly, it destroy your image. I mean, how good can you look or how cool can it be to have a thin stick of rolled up leaves in between your fingers when you are talking or walking. In my opinion, I think it makes the smoker look weak and also foolish. Weak cos you are giving in to temptation and foolish cos the smoker is wasting his health and wealth, the 2 things that are high on my list of priorities.

The list can go on forever. Conclusion: I find smoking an abhorrent, loathsome and disgusting habit. And the smoker a weak and foolish individual.

My disdain for smoking and smokers still holds and thats why I am ashamed to say that for the past few months, I was actually tempted to take a stick of cig from my colleagues and start puffing away.

You see, about 80% of my company smoke. The big boss himself even smoke in his own office, in the air con area. I still remember the first day when I came to work, my nose was very sensitive and I smelled a strong stench of cig smoke. I asked around but no one was willing to offer me the reason or they did not smell any cig stench in the company, even though I distinctly stressed that I really did smell it. After a few weeks, I realized who caused the stench and then after a few months, I could not smell anything anymore. Cos I was already used to the smell and it no longer tickled my nostrils.

I am surrounded by smokers everyday, although I do not join them in their smoking breaks. A couple of times, however, when a bunch of my colleagues went to "take five", as they called their smoking sessions, I also joined them, cos I needed a break from my work. Besides, it was lunch hour. Out of curiousty, I toyed with their cig and their lighters and out of mischief, they offered me a stick. Of course I turned them down.

But then recently, my work load seemed to have increase. With all the confusions in my work and all the screw-ups in my operations, I have been feeling very stressed up.

My colleague, on seeing me so stressed up, teased me. "Here, have a stick, relax and maybe later you got more energy."

I was ashamed to say that I actually really felt like taking up her offer. If not for the fact that I was still held up by some work, I would have perhaps join her and start puffing and killing myself away.

The first thing that came to my mind was, I really need a break. The second thing that came to my mind was, they looked so relax. The third thing that came to my mind was, smoking really helped them to relax. The last thing that came to my mind was, I will be able to break the habit anytime I want.

The most important thing that never actually came to my mind was, smoking is an addiction and it kills.

I think I seriously need some form of distractions and relaxation.