Saturday, July 01, 2006

Anger management needed

I seriously need to do something about my anger and my temper. Its so overpowering that I am having problems thinking straight. Its clouding my better judgement and destroying all senses that I have. The worse thing that can happened is that I want to hurt someone, physically or emotionally when I am angry. Its so scary.

Something happened today which made me wasted half of my weekend, one full day of my Saturday and I was so angry with the person that caused it that I had to vent out my anger cos I could not control it. It spurned out of control. My judgement was clouded, I could not take it that I actually wasted 1 full day of my weekend on an idiot and I could not take it lying down cos of that. I threw my stuff, my eye medication on the floor, slammed the window, slammed the fridge door, banged the table, banged my fist on the wall and slammed my door. And all these still did not help to pacify me. I even bit down hard on my lips until it bled. My parents were freaked out by what happened though my sis was irritated that I was being so childish.

In the end, I hurt myself and almost destroyed my stuff and my door. And still I felt very angry. It was terrible. Its scary. Even after a nap, I was still feeling very red and hot all over. I needed to hurt someone or destroy something.

I need some anger management lessons. Otherwise one of these days, I might just end up really hurting myself or the people around me. I am just too hot-headed. Sometimes after my anger or temper had passed, when I think about it, it actually scares me to think that I could be so scary whenever I was angry.


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