I woke up real early today, still burning rage and all filled with anger. I just could not seem to dispel my anger and its making me very very miserable. I need to find a channel to focus my anger and to let it all out. Its even affecting my sleep. I could not sleep well and had to wake up early cos of it. Its just so meaningless and yet my emotions took hold of me and I could not operate well. And the scariest thing is my anger is imploding. I actually had thoughts about hurting myself, just to bring pain to myself so that it can take perhaps take my mind off my anger. I have never felt like this before, not even when I fought my dad when I was younger. Its just crazy.
And as usual, Eelin came to my rescue. For no reason, she called me last night and asked me out, without knowing that she probably just saved me from doing more damage to myself and to the people around me when she suggested to meet up for a movie.
Of all the DC superheros, I dislike Superman the most. Perhaps cos there is just something about his cape and tights that turn me off big time. And not to mention the way the citizens were always revelling him just made him seem so egoistic...
But I must say I really enjoyed today's show. The Superman there looked so delicious! Heh! The backdrop is good cos Bryan Singer actually tried to bring the mood and details from the original Superman to the current episode. Every little details like the way Lois Lane crossed her legs when they landed after flying with Superman and how Superman liked to stand with folded hands floating in the air are true to the original. Even the huge ball of copper on top of the Daily Planet looked perfect!
It was truly a very good movie although I wished they could change something to Superman's tights and panties looking customer, right down to the red cape. The person who came up with the design of Superman's costume should really be flogged. It looked hideous..!
Although Eelin thinks otherwise. She said its a good thing that Bryan Singer kept everything to the original idea cos otherwise it would be a disappointment. Just look at the first X Men. Every DC comics fan were crying blasphemous when the costume of their superheros were changed.
I guess everyone at some point of time need a superhero. Be it imaginary or somone whom you know. Its the comfort of being able to depend on someone else for security and comfort. Its thought that when you are facing some crisis, you will be able to have someone to save you and to cradle you. Its the idea that nothing will go wrong when he is around. Perhaps thats the reason why even though Superman looked so gayish and weird in his cape and panties suit, he is still so popular. Especially during this Age of Aquarius, when technology is so advance and yet everyone is so confused, confused about the future and about security. Remember Superman sitting in his living room going through his TV watching news and seeing all the wars, terrorist attacks and shits happening in our world. Everyone need a Superman. Its only through our belief in our own Superman that we are able to feel safe and secure.
I felt so much better after some retail therapy and movie with Eelin. For some reason she always have this ability cheer me up and to make me feel so much better, just by being there. For some reason she will call me unwittingly when I need someone to talk and to open up. She did not even know I was feeling miserable until she called me to catch a movie yesterday.
And as usual, she will always say something that will leave a strong impression on me everytime we went out.
"The level of anger that you shown towards someone will show the level of importance that you place on the person. And your anger is betraying your feelings, no matter how much you are lying to yourself."
My anger is gone, for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment