Saturday, August 13, 2005

Full cup, half cup or just a broken cup?



Can there be really a long lasting commitment between 2 persons? This was the question that I have been asking myself since last night, after hearing my sis telling me that she very cold-heartedly ended her 4 years long relationship with her boyfriend, who by the way was still very much infactuated with her. She said that the relationship was getting 'routine, stale" and her feelings, the spark had died. She is going to have some serious explaining to do to my parents who were looking really forward to him as a son-in-law.

My point is, can there ever truly be a long lasting love for someone else? A love so deep that the spark will never vanish and the relationship just goes on and on forever, till-death-do-us-apart kind of love. Does anyone still believe in that now? I used to.

I used to believe that when you fall in love, really deeply in love, you will never fall out of it, cos you will just continue falling harder and harder until you cannot even pull yourself out of the ditch that you fell into without even realizing it. I use to believe that if I were to really fall in love with someone else, I will commit my whole for this someone, my body and my soul. Thats why I don fall in love so easily cos its difficult to get me to really fall deep and hard for someone else. My philosophy is, there is no such thing as half a cup of love, there is either a full cup or an empty cup.

However, recent events prove to me that there can actually be half cups of love.

And with my sis's experience, I was left wondering, can there ever be a love that last a lifetime where 2 person will stay commited to each other and be there for each other? I had been through 2 types of relationship, the first one with someone who wanted to commit with me initially but then the feelings just died off and the second one with someone who wants no commitment with me. The first one being a full cup of love but in the end, became empty cup and the second, a broken cup?

I think I was just too naive to be disillusioned with all these stupid romantic thoughts. Perhaps I have really learnt my lesson. Whatever the case, I don for one believe that i can fall in love or stay commited ever again, and I am not so foolish as to think that there will be a Mr Right for me. There is no Mr Right or Miss Right, for that matter. Its just a term coined up by romantic empty-headed boys or girls who are always on the lookout for romance to give meaning to their lives. And on the same note, I think all relationships will end, one way or another, its just a matter of time. If you are happy, then stay together, if not, then go separate ways. There really is no such thing as a long lasting love cos there really is no love to begin in the first place, its just timed-infactuation, if I may put it that way. Sooner or later, the infactuation will fade and then its time to wake up and move on.

9 comments:

DK said...

The cup is always half full. Waiting to be filled by the other person.....

rijac said...

people, and circumstances can change. so the romantic notion of love which states that two people are supposed to love each other and be faithful forever, has its flaws.

love should be seen from a practical point of view. does it make 'sense' for two people to be together, if not then they shouldn't.

Paddy Tan said...

Just remove that 'cup' and you are free to wander your own definition of love and commitment and whichever that are co-related.

Anonymous said...

its sad to say but I do agree with what rijac says... "does it make 'sense' for two people to be together, if not then they shouldn't."

I experienced that too at the begining of the year ending a 1++ year of relationship with a fellow poly friend.. her parents never trusted our relationship, just think I'm out to cheat her body + money (her family quite well off type) but she insited that our love spark can cover all hurdles which sadly it din, when she finally finished her poly course and ask me "my mom wants to see me get married in 2 years time and wanted 30 tables from a 6-star hotel in town for wedding dinner to treat her relatives and biz associates, can u commit?" I'm at a lost of words at that time.. I still yet to find a full time job, not much of a savings plan I had.. so I tell her its not possible then my mom fell ill n i need to take care of her n no time for gf for nearly 2 months so she put me a ultimatum "to choose between mom and her", quoting me to be an "uncommited" type of guy.. i couldn't do nothing much but to say "we will have to go our seperate ways for now.." n I still did not regret that decision till now

but from then on I agree that no love spark is forever so deep n bright...

tanlih

HJ said...

The cup would always be "full"... even no love inside still will have air... so it will always be full...

Oh i am darn crappy...

Iris said...

Eh, actually, hj, what you are saying does make a little sense. The cup will always be full cos its filled with air, which kind of symbolizes the illusions that people have towards the concept of love. They are there but yet not there at the same time since its not something which one can hold on to. Its a concept not a reality.

If you get what I am trying to say..

starz said...

kind of sad actually cos I never believe in those till death do us part kind of love.

I once hear someone saying that there will definitely be a time when sparks between 2 person dying off but it's the commitment that the 2 person have that makes them stay together.

a Mr Right or Miss Right will exist only when the time, place and person is right. if not... you just have to make do with what u have or else just be happy and enjoy your life with your family and friends around you. :)

dm said...

Wah... You all affected by the love thread huh? :P

Why so gan qing yong shi? Hehehe.. :P

Love, if have, have loh.. Don't have, then find somemore loh.. Hehehehe.. :P

HJ said...

What starz say reminds me of the two shows "Xing Dong" and "Turn left, Turn Right"...

Dunno why but it seem tat i seem to like show by Jin Cheng Wu and Liang Yong Qi... i like both the love story, very nice... At the right place, at the right time, with the right person