Sunday, April 17, 2005


Yippee! My bro has been called for this NS duties on the 9th of next mth..! I have been waiting for this day for such a long time that I never knew it will come!! My prayers have finally been answered!!

To all who know me, I have not talked to that person for years already. I think the last time when we have a decent conversation was when I was still 17 or 18 years old. And that so called decent conversation ended in a fight. Yes, I fought with my bro. I think it ended with me chasing him out of the house and giving him a tight slap and my mum had to pull us apart. Guess no one knows that I am such a violent person! I do get out of control when I am really angry..

For some reason I have never been able to stand the sight of that person. When we were young, still kids, we do like each other a lot. And we even played chinese chess all the time, although hes always beating me in that game! Its only when he reached his teens and went to a secondary school that I cannot stand him. His behaviour turn from bad to worse and he became very rebellious. He got abusive with my parents and essentially became a very loud-mouthed pig. Incidentally, his Chinese Zodiac is the pig! How apt!! I still remember the first time when he called my mum a bastard and I slapped him across the face for it. I think its from that time when our relationship turned sour. Also, the fact that he always flunked in his school while I am the so-called scholoar at home probably made him felt like a loser in the house and he probably hated me for that since I was always getting praises from my parents while hes always getting scoldings from them.

When we grow up, our conversations always ended either in arguments or are coated with sacarcism. Either way, they always ended in fights. When I got angry, I don't give a heck if hes taller and bigger than me. I fought back and end up, I am always the wounded party. He also does not treat me as a girl when hes fighting with me. I will end up getting bruises on my lips and my arms. But heck, I just don want to lose to him so I fought back! In the end, I figured that since we always end up fighting each other if we talk, we might as well don start any conversations. So we began to ignore each other. Actually it was me who started to ignore him and after a while, ha also can't be bothered with me. Our relationship has gotten so bad that we don even give each other a second look when we bumped into each other on the streets.. Very pathetic...

Now, its more like the both of us can't bring ourselves to talk to each other anymore. I am not so angry with him anymore and I have a feeling that hes also sort of gotten over the animosity for me. Its just that when you have been ignoring a person for such a long time, after a while, yoou just can't bring yourself to talk to him anymore.. So sad.. Its like I don have any bro anymore. Hes gotten more mature and is getting rather adorable but there is some sort of intertia that is preventing me from speaking with him.

And now hes going to NS! Yes!! I seriously wonder how is he going to survive the showering and the dirt in the army. For one thing, he is easily repulsed by dirt and for the other, he spends at least half an hour in the shower!! Haha!! Hes also been training himself and toning his body. I even noticed that he actually has six packs and biceps! I never know that my bro has such a fit and tone body! Man...

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