Tuesday, February 21, 2006

End of A Chapter

I really feel like closing this chapter of my life. Its been too long and too late for anything else. As such, I think I am going to end this chapter with this. I just had to let it out. Finally.

I had been too immature, too impulsive and too playful. I provided you with a form of distraction from your problems while you provided me with a form of escape, escape from my failures.

We will never be together. There would be too many frustrations and too much anger. We were just too different and too apart. The result was the incessant clashing of characteristics and resulting arguments.

It was never meant to be exclusive but still, feelings are so damn hard to control. I was always waiting for something to happen and I was tired of it. I put on hold many things and yet, nothing happened. I was so tired of waiting and yet I continue to wait, and continued to get disappointed. I never told you what I wanted for fear of scaring you away and also to keep the times that we were together free from such nitty-critty matters. Finally I could not take it any longer. I was tired of holding my breathe.

I am glad that you hurt me actually. It just made me dead and force me to start from afresh again. I wanted to never get involved in such games again. I don think I can play by the rules.

This is it, no more dwelling into what happened again. THE END!


DK said...


Monday night prata I treat. To celebrate your new life. :D

3 Cheers!!!

Armin Van Buuren said...

May this tide you over for the moment...
Don't get Burned With Desire... again.

Calamity Man said...

screw you armin.

anyway, congratulations for taking the horns by its bull!

Armin Van Buuren said...

What's with you??? You alright?

Anonymous said...

Iris: glad you came out from the waiting game.. like DK says we should help u celebrate your new life ;) cheers!


Calamity Man said...

oh haha, i'm truly sorry armin.

with a comment like that, i thought you were just another blog spammer. these idiots usually target at blogs with no "word verification".

i truly apologize.

glad to know you're a real human.

Armin Van Buuren said...

Ahh... your true apology sure sounded very sweet to me, Mr Lubis Ratno. Thank you.

Let me guess, you did not mouse over the link in my previous comment and/or you certainly did not click on them when you 1st saw my comments.

Anyway, all is well. I just hope Iris likes & enjoys the soothing sound of this track:

Peaceful setting with birds chirping, the sounds of the ocean crashing towards the beach, and an electric bass that stays the course for this ambient ballad.

Stunning vocals by Suissa layered over lush cords and arrangements. Do not be mistaken that this is a typical radio-friendly trance track. Your memories will not let this one fade away into the shadows like many others.

It's the current favourite of D'Nightie's (ex)master; he has it spinning in his blue iPod mini whenever he's on the road.

Iris said...

thanks Armin for the song but I am not able to listen to it cos there is no sound in the page that you sent to me..

Armin Van Buuren said...

And which link did u click on, Iris?

Iris said...

The link that you sent me has zero bytes of data, cannot download anything.

Iris said...

D'Nightie is no more and I am glad that you realized that its ex, not current.. I am glad you still have your blue ipod and enjoying it.

Now what do you want of me?

Anonymous said...

So much angst and so much hurt in this post and its comments.. yet all shrouded by the bosom of anonymity and sound bytes (bites)

Anonymous said...

And you must not harbour any hope of future in reconcilation that is gonna bridge the differences. It ain't possible.
You have the ability to feel; you ought to feel it's not gonna happen.
You are better off not putting your emotions involved. Either you do that or it will be done for you.

Iris said...

I already said, the feelings had changed. I am not as gullible and not as stupid anymore. As I had said, once bitten, twice shy.

It will be done for me? Its not really up to you to decide for me again. This time I am taking charge of my feelings.