What do I want?

"Too often, the thing that you want most is the thing that you can't have. Desire, leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life.

But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don know what they want."

Maybe thats why I am still suffering?

I am going to get a new phone

My phone underwent a traumatizing incident while I was in Thailand.

I was sitting merrily on the boat during the boat ride when I received an SMS. It was from my mum and so automatically I replied her. Just as I pressed "sent", I looked up and there was this guy on the boat beside us who was dipping his pail into the river water. The next thing I knew was I was soaked in river water. For the uninitiated, it was Songkran, the Thail's new year, also known as the water festival and one can just throw water on anyone that you see.

And so me and my poor K750i was soaked in water. As I wiped off the water, I saw a water stain on the screen. There was nothing I can do but hope nothing was wrong with my phone. After a night in the cold hotel room, the water stain was gone.

And this gave me the perfect excuse to get a new phone! I have been wanting to get a new phone but just did not have an excuse to get replace my old phone. With this incident, I figured I might as well get a new phone since its gonna spoil soon.

My choices are as followed:

1) K800i
2) W880i
3) K810i

And the winner: the ultra cool K810i!!!!

I think its another love at first sight phone, this baby is so cool! Just look at the buttons, and the ultra slimness. And most of all, the Cyber Shot camer, 3.2 pixels of it!

I am so gonna get this phone. Now, the only concern is the price..

Besides this, I cannot bear to let go of my faithful K750i, shes been with me through thick and thin, dry or wet and just replacing her just seems so cruel..

Sigh.. choices, choices again.

I am leaving

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breaking
Its early morn
The taxis waiting
Hes blowing his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Floating mass of shapeless feelings

Love is a very strange thing, the more you try to go in search for it, the more elusive it will be. And then when you least expected it, it just came like a whirlwind and hit you straight in the face by surprise. Sometimes its a pleasant surprise while other times, its quite a nasty shock.

Decay was just talking about When You Love Someone and promising that he will be giving all he has for the person that he loves. Which I think is a very sweet and very sentimental thing. Hes got comment that love is not just about giving, its about giving and taking in the correct proportion and someone also commented that she would be rather freaked when the man who loves her gives her too much cos she is scared that he might just turned into a psycho in the event that that relationship does not work out.

What is love?

Perhaps its about giving and taking but ultimately when you love someone so much, you would want to give so much to him that you do not even mind hurting yourself in the process. Because you have already lost yourself in love, you don exist anymore, your existence is purely just for him and he is everything to you.

That said, the ultimate expression of love however is not to have but rather to let go. Many times I heard the expression that the more you hold and control, the more you will lose. Maybe this should be what love is about, to let go so whoever you love will be happy and free. Because, love is so elusive that its like water, you cannot hold on to water, the more you try to hold it, the more it will seep through your fingers and then you will be left with nothing, nothing at all.

And because you love him so much, it certainly hurt to let him go. But because at the end of the day, you just want to see a smile on his face that your hurt does not matter anymore, you just want him to be happy. To know that he is free and happy.

So you tell me, how can something so pretty and warm as love be so conflicting and enigmatic?

Maybe there are no true and concrete definitions of love, maybe its supposed to be like a floating transparent mass of shapeless feelings. Maybe thats why its so beautiful because there is no way to quantify and define it. Maybe thats why we humans are always so confused about how we should go about loving someone and how we should express our love. Maybe the best expression of love is just to take it easy, not rushing it, not forcing this floating transparent mass of shapeless feelings into a solid container in the hope that your love will give you the result that you want.

Because forcing it will just bring more tears and more pain.

Lodged bone

Today was my birthday and everything was fine during the day. Watched Aein, a Korean romance show, cried during the show from the agonizing but torrid love affair, enjoyed a bowl of hot self made noodles with sausages in the morning and went to try out my new thongs bought from Thailand.

All in all, quite a satisfactory way to spend my 27th birthday morning.

In the noon, I went out with Mr D, wore my new halter top, attracted some unwanted attention but still had loads of fun. Then I insisted to have Japanese food for dinner and so we went to Tampines mall to have dinner.

Thats when the my birthday starts to go down the hill.

When we reached the mall, it was packed with shitloads of people. We were looking around looking for a Japanese restaurant and then found one. Genki Sushi. I rather like this sushi chain cos for one, they served cheaper sushi than the normal Sakae Sushi and for the other, their food is rather nice for their price.

We looked at the menu and order some of my favorite food. The unagi tofu yanagawa was one of the item.
Now, the unagi pieces being served were supposed to be without bones. Even if they were with bones, they were supposed to be easy to chew and swallow.

No, it wasn't meant to be.

When the dish came, I had 2 reactions. First, I was very disappointed with the size of the dish, it had shrunk, including the unagi pieces. From the large chunks that you see on the photo, it has shrunk to about a quarter. Second, it wasn't even on a hotplate at all, it was on a plastic plate, disguised poorly to look like a hotplate.

Anyway, not wanting to waste my money and the food, I chomped down my first mouthful. And then the second mouthful. Which consisted of the pathetic unagi pieces, egg and toufu. And a piece of unagi bone.

It stuck and I could not get it up or down, no matter how hard I tried. I swallowed a whole piece of sushi, drank half a can of coke, and even almost drank some white vinegar if not for the fact that restaurant did not have any. I even resorted to making myself puke out my dinner hoping to push out that piece of stupid bone None of it helps. The darn piece of bone was just stuck fast in my throat and it hurt, a lot. Every time I swallowed saliva, or breathe or just turned my head, I would feel that darn thing lodged in my throat and it felt like there was a needle there. It was painful as hell.

No choice, I had to look for professional help. We went to a clinic to seek an expert.

The doc put on a pair of glove and asked me, "Do you gag easily?"

"Erm, I just puked out my dinner so even if I gag, I doubt there would be anything coming out."

Doc gave a short laugh, asked me to say ahhhh with my mouth opened widely and then proceeded to probe my throat with his hand, feeling for the bone.

Still, he could not take out that darn thing.

So he went to get a long tweezer and asked me to open my mouth again. This time, he probed deeper and a moment later, he withdrew that bloody thing from my throat. It was transparent and bent at the end. It was about 1cm long.

I looked at the thing and said, "This bloody thing made me puked out my dinner."

Doc laughed again and I went to foot his fees.

Cost of the dinner that I puked out : $46
Cost of doc's fee for taking out the stupid bone: $50

So all in all, I spent $46 on my dinner, including that stupid fish bone and then to puke out my dinner and another $50 to take out that bone from my throat.

What a way to spend my birthday.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Another year gone since my memorable birthday entry.

Sigh, I am still the same person, had not done anything memorable actually. Its rather sad actually. The only difference perhaps is that I put on a couple of kilograms.

Now, thats even sadder.

Anyway, this year, I think I am happier than last year, which is a good sign and a bad sign actually. Good cos I am more optimistic, bad cos when I am happy, I tend to eat and thus contribute to my expanding waistline. Argh. I am like stuck in a Catch-22 situation.

So, my dear fans, ms froggie is now officially 27 years old this year, can round off to be 30 years old already.

Shit.

The French maid lingerie

I thought of another funny incident while in Bangkok last week.

I was in this store, aptly called Undercover, waiting for Cons and Ivy to finish trying their lovely bras. I was sitting in a corner, comfortably in an armchair, hating my breasts silently cos I wasn't able to fit inside any of the lovely bras. Sometimes I seriously hate my body, especially my breasts.

Anyway, the store was rather small, though it was very well furnished, dim lights with rows of underwear hanging all over the place. I was sitting under a row of sexy lingerie, those full body suits that ladies like to wear to tempt their men. They really looked lovely, lacy, naughty and colorful! Some of the suits came with lacy garter belts too! So exciting!

I got distracted.

And so I was sitting there, looking regrettably and lovingly at the lingerie all over the store. In walked this Singaporean couple. I had a feeling that they thought I was a Thai cos they did not seem to mind me there while talking rather intimately.. And thats where the fun starts. Heh.

The conversation goes something like the following.

Girl (rather loudly): "So dear, take your pick, which one would you like? Which one is nice?"

Guy (happily like a boy who had just entered a toy shop): "Hmm.. All of them look so pretty! Hoo..!"

They were looking at the higher rows of lingerie, those that are rather kinky and exciting. And I was just sitting directly underneath it.

Guy (excitedly point at the a piece hanging highest up at a corner): "That one! The French maid suit!"

Girl: "Har, that one ah? Only black and white, not very pretty leh. And so small too."

What followed was a series of pestering from the guy, trying to persuade his girlfriend to get the French maid lacy suit. They picked the piece off the shelf, they felt the fabric and more bantering between them followed. Girl, not really sure if she should get the piece, guy very adamant to get his girlfriend to wear the piece for him.

Then suddenly.

Girl: "Actually its very tight leh, I will be very uncomfortable after putting it on leh. See the belt so tight!"

Guy: "Aiyah, tight never mind lah! It will be off 10 minutes after you put it on lor!"

Girl looked at guy with crossed eyes while guy laughed away happily at his own joke.

In the end, Girl still did not want to get the French maid suit, much to the disappointment of her boyfriend. Poor guy exited from the store, walking slowly behind his girlfriend as they left the store.

Sigh, some girls are really quite boring!

Thailand trip: 130407 to 160407

April 13 to 16 is one of the hottest day in Thailand. It is also when they celebrate their New Year, or Songkran. For the uninitiated, Songkran is also known as their Water Festival, cos the whole country literally throw water anywhere, at anyone.

I had my first trip to Thailand during the past weekend, with Cons and Ivy. We did not know that it was their New Year when we booked the flight for that day. The trip, other than the heat, turned out really fulfilling, in terms of the shopping conquests that we did. There were some very funny incidents on the way though, hah!

First day, we checked into the Singapore Budget Terminal. It was really built on a budget expenditure. The hall looks something right out of the expo hall, bare and sparsely furnished.

The flight there was very smooth and I got my first taste of flying. Got a little sweaty palms but other than that it was a very calming and rather nice flight there. A little side track here, I seriously think Tiger Airway need to find better looking air stewardesses...

2 hours later, we landed at the new and spanking Suvarnabhumi Airport. Describing it as huge is just an understatement! The landing strips for airplanes to take off and land are so wide that I don even know where the starting and ending points were!

Next, to get a cab to our hotel. There were queues of taxis outside waiting and there were those cabbies who were trying to push their limousine cabs to us. We were surrounded by a couple of men who were trying to push their limousines to us. Initial offer: 800 baht. We walked away and they lowered to 700 baht. We walked further and they decided we were too smart for their tactics and left us alone. In the end, we hopped onto one that offer to bring us to Baiyoke Suite Hotel at 400 baht, including service charge that his agent of some sort charge of 50 baht.

A little side note here, Baiyoke hotel is cheap and good, but don be fooled by the classy pictures. The room is huge, it has a living room for watching TV and a sleeping quarters. My few complains about the place was the super cold aircon which does not seem to be adjustable in its temperature and the placement of the TV, which was in the living room and we were not able to watch it while lying on bed.

Anyway, we settled down and set out for shopping! First stop, Maboonkong (MBK) shopping center! Again, describing it huge was super understatement. One can literally get lost in the center.










There were bridges linking to the shopping center and it was very accessible. Walking there from the train station was very convenient but the weather was terribly hot. Super hot and dry.

Anyway, once inside, we went in search for food. I found my first Dunkin' Donuts. I tell ya, their blueberry donuts were the best!










Cons and Ivy bought some munchkins.










So after fulfilling our tummies, we prowled around looking for bargains. We went inside Wacoal, in search for lingeries, being the sensual females that we are. Heh.

I was browsing around, trying to search for a perfect bra. Then, a salesgirl came over and asked me, "Miss, want to try T-shirt bra?"

I thought why not. So I went over and she showed me the shelf. She asked for my size and I said, "B80."

She went, in very halting English, "No no! No B80! You E cup!"

I almost choked and Cons who happened to be beside me burst out laughing!

"No no! I no E cup! I C cup at most!"

She was rather indignant about it and insisted, "No! You E Cup! You E75" Then she walked over and put a bra over my breasts and squeezed my breasts!

She squeezed my breasts!!! She actually squeezed my breasts! A stranger squeezed my breasts! Gawd! Cons by now was laughing openly at me.

I tried the bra, it fits perfectly, thus confirming her conclusion that I am an E cup. I sheepishly agreed that I was E cup and went to pay for the bra. The cashier was a male. The sales girl very happily walked over and told me,"See, you E cup!"

The cashier was grinning very merrily when he heard her.

My first ever E cup bra. Cons said the Thai women have very small frames so my bigger breasts to them are humongous. Anyway, I should be flattered that I have naturally big breasts. And not to mention the width dropped from 80 to 75 so I probably slimmed down. Heh!

It was quite ironic cos after we came out of the store, we saw this poster outside a salon providing breasts augmentation cum surgery services. We were laughing at the many breasts size and trying to find out which category does our breasts fit into!











We also caught these 2 sales girl dancing there trying to attract crowds.



Next stop, Siam Center. This was a rather special shopping area. Its not exactly a shopping building but rather made up of a series of shops along a couple of streets. The stuff there sold are super cheap. Normal price would be about 100 baht for a pair of shoes or for some bags or stuff. Thats like SGD4.40 for each items! I bought a couple of shoes there, some earrings etc. Cons and Ivy bought some shoes and undies. I tell ya, this trip should be called the undies trip! I will come to that later.

After loitering at MBK and Siam Center for a while, we went to the famous Chinatown street to enjoy some shark's fins and bird nest soup. They really do serve very cheap cheap shark's fins and bird nests! I noticed that there weren't many Caucasians there even though the whole Thailand seemed to be swarmed with them. Probably they could not accept the idea of eating sharks' fins and swiftlets' saliva! Hah, a bunch of chickens!

The sharks' fins were quite nice, normal sharks' fins taste but the bird nests taste terrible. Its just like sugar water with plasticky looking flecks cooked together. Cons did not even want to touch hers after a mouthful. Me and Ivy managed to finish about half a cup and stopped eating altogether. I was too full from the lunch and the sharks' fin to continue anyway. The hawkers thought their bird nests soup were not sweet enough and even offered me a little pot of sugar to add into our bird nests. For a while we were discussing how to get out of the awkward situation cos we just did not want to continue drinking our soup without offending him and we were blaming Cons for it. Haha! In the end, I just stood up and tell the girls to make a run for it, heh!

Our hawker who cooked our bird nest soup. He must have probably felt that his soup taste weird cos he actually went to taste his pot of bird nest soup himself after seeing that Cons was making some funny faces about the soup! Haha! Poor guy.





On the second day, we head straight for Chatuchak. I tell ya, this is the king of all street markets. The whole area is like a maze, a series of never ending maze and we literally got lost there. Happily lost of course. There are tons of clothes, wares, accessories, bags, belts, food, etc for sale and at super cheap prices! Average price tags starts at 100 baht and some expensive items can go up to about 600 bahts. Thats like about 4 bucks to just less than 30 bucks! And the best thing is you can slash price with the hawkers! I got 4 shirts, more accessories. Cons and Ivy got more undies, some skirts, bags and more undies. Now you know why I called this Thailand trip an undies trip?









As it was the Songkran festival, there were kids and young people squirting water at us. They were really getting into the mood of the festival, the atmosphere was so joyous! Initially we girls were trying our best to avoid the water but after a long while of walking around on the super hot day, we just kinda gave up. It was rather refreshing to have water squirted at you when you were feeling hot and sticky all over. I even commented that I would not mind standing in front of the kids, letting them squirt water on me! Haha!

The heat was too much for us to take and so we went back to the only air conditioned shopping center that we knew to take some heat off. MBK. I think we went there once on every day of the 4 days we were there!

Cons and Ivy went to doll their fingernails up while I watched aside in amazement at the skillful ladies painting tiny art on their nails.










We got more undies at Siam center and bought more stuff there. It was so fulfilling and exciting to get a good bargain and to know that you will never be able to get these stuff at that kind of prices in Singapore. We even met a fellow Singaporean girl there and sort of ended up discussing with her how the stuff in Singapore are way too exorbitant already.

Third day, we decided to go for some Thai massage. I tell ya, these masseuses are really strong! I am not exactly very small size myself but they could really twist and turn my body at a blink of the eyes! It was morbidly satisfying to hear cracking sounds from the contortion of my body. Heh.

After the massage, we felt like some sightseeing. And ended up being katok like some foolish tourists. Went for a boat tour around Thailand's river at the recommendation of a cabbie which
cost us like 600 baht each. Should have spent the money on some other shopping.




























Even went to a snake farm which interestingly also featured other animals. Saw lots of monkeys, a couple of tigers with really large face, a super furly bear, a couple of peacocks, lots of snakes and lots of parrots.




























The supposedly very famous snake show lasted for a disappointing 5-10 mins.



















After the ride, the boatman dropped us off at their central pier and the Songkran festival was in full force. When I said full force, it was really in full force, literally. Its near a Buddhist temple palace, and there were tons of people around. The size of the place is so huge that nowhere in Singapore will you be able to see something like this. And there were lots of people, locals as well as foreigners throwing water, throwing powder everywhere! It was rather intimating. After walking around for a while, and being refused entry into their temple cos I was wearing shorts, we figured we might as well go somewhere else.

And so we went to the famous 4-faced Buddha statue that lots of Singaporeans go there to ask for best wishes. It was right in front of their Central Square, another humongous shopping center but we had quite a challenging time telling the cabbie where were wanted to go cos the man did not know a word of English. In the end, I had to write on his notepad and then point to my face while holding up 4 fingers to indicate where we wanted to go!

After some teary eyes and some figuring out on which direction should we start to pray at the statue, we proceeded to Central World. Its a newly built huge shopping center and there was also an event celebrating the Songkran festival there. We went there and tried this steamboat restaurant called the Bar-B-Q Plaza. It was fantastic. The sauce was perfect and best thing it was cheap. We paid like 350baht for the entire meal!











After that, we kinda ran out on Thai baht and went o do some exchange before going back to Siam Square and MBK again. Heh. We just could not think of other places to go to.

Bought some more undies and went back to Pratunam, back to our hotel area. I almost kenna katok again by a hawker. I saw this white shirt that I would like to get for a friend and went to ask for the price. The woman quoted me 150 baht. I wanted to shop around some more and dropped the offer. About an hour later, I went back and asked her for the price and she quoted me 190 baht. I insisted that she quoted me 150 baht before and she insisted that its always 190 baht. Actually, I was ok with the price cos 190 baht for a shirt is still very cheap but I just could not accept the idea that I was being katok like a fool so I walked away, refusing to take her offer up.

Forth day consisted of some last minute shopping, more binging on food and more walking around under the hot Thailand sun. Went back to MBK to have the Bar-B-Q Plaza thingy. Me and Cons just could not get enough of the steamboat. Too tired and too poor on cash to shop anymore, we went to the airport to crash out.

Our luggages. Very heavy.








Finally time for boarding and checking in. Realized that there wasn't any airport tax and not wanting to waste the 500 baht that we kept for the tax, we spent it on our last meal. Think there was something wrong with the meal cos the 3 of us ended up with diarrhea. Thats why I am sitting here at home blogging my trip instead of working in the office. I think I felt another strong urge to visit the toilet again.

My conquests:

Of course these do not include the purchases that I got for my family and my colleagues. I also got a perfume, mascara, liquor from the airport.

Phew, I think I threw in like SGD800 bucks on this trip, including hotel and airfare. All in all, a very exciting and fulfilling trip. Definitely going back to Thailand again in the near future!

Now, to nurse my sore tummy....