25 hours

Its been a tiring and tiring past couple of weeks for me. There are just too many things and projects at work to complete and it seems that 24 hours per day is not enough for my work, my leisure, my family and my friends.

Sometimes I just feel like tearing myself apart or just clone more of me so that I can satisfy everyone at the same time. So that I can fulfill other expectations.

Anyway, workwise, its been rather enriching. And very challenging, in a politically correct sense of words. For the first time in my life I feel limited in languages, in the written form.

For I am tasked for a project in Chinese or Mandarin, I can never get the difference between these 2 words by the way. I was asked to prepare a presentation in Chinese and then a presentation script in Chinese. That was the hardest part, or so I thought.

Until the Chinese delegates came.

The tedious thing about communication in another language, one which you have disdain for, is the accent of the other party whom you are communicating with. Other than the fact that your language is quite limited to the same few syllabus that you normally used, you still have to get used to his accent.

Anyway, the Chinese delegates spoke Chinese of course, and they spoke very fast. It was rather tough getting used to, I had to really open my ears wide and try to catch and understand what they are trying to say.

But other than for this, I must say I had quite an interesting time to polish up my Chinese!

My personal life has seem to have taken a back seat. Sometimes I really cannot understand how successful people can juggle between their personal lives and their career. I mean there are just so much amount of time you can afford to give to other people. I for one need my own personal time, like now, peace and quietness, what a luxury!

The more I concentrate on my career, the more worried I am. About losing my focus, losing myself. The more I focus on my work, the more I seem to give up personally. Cos there are just so much multi-taskings that I can afford.

And now, I am rather worried that I am walking down this path now. To me, somethings gotta give, you either have a very fulfilling family life or you have an established career. Somehow the idea of me being a career woman with a family of my own just does not seem right for me. I either foresee myself as a modern working woman or a stay home housewife or mother.

So sad. Cos at the current rate I am going, I seem to be venturing down a lonely path of singlehood with a reluctant acceptance for my work commitments.

I really wish there are more than 24 hours a day, perhaps 25 hours? The last hour being one which I can dedicate solely for myself.