Friday, December 29, 2006

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday
Make a wish

Please accept my apologies, I wonder what would have been.
Would you have been a little angel or an angel of sin?
Tom-boy running around, hanging with all the guys.
Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes.
I paid for the murder before they determined the sex,
choosing our life over your life meant your death.
And you never got a change to even open your eyes,
sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you fought for your life.

Would you have been a little genius? In love with math?
Would you have played in your school clothes and made me mad?
Would you have been a little rapper like your poppa The Piper?
Would you have made me quit smoking by finding one of my lighters?
I wonder about your skin tone and shape of your nose,
and the way you would've laughed and talked fast or slow.
I think about it every year, so I picked up a pen.

Happy birthday, I love you whoever you would've been

Happy Birthday
What I thought was a dream
Make a wish
Was as real as it seemed
I made a mistake

I got a million excuses, as to why you died.
And other people got their own reasons for homicide.
Who's to say it would've worked and who's to say I wouldn't have
I was young and struggling, but old enough to be a dad.
The fear of being my father has never disappeared,
I ponder it frequently while I was sippin' on my beer.
My vision of a family was artificial and fake
so what it came time to create, I made a mistake.
But now you got a little brother, maybe it's really you.
Maybe you really forgave us knowing we were confused.
Maybe, every time that he smiles, it's you proudly
knwing that your father's doing the right thing now.
I'll never tell a woman what to do with her body
but if she don't love children, then we can't party.

Happy Birthday, I love you whoever you would've been.
Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday
What I thought was a dream
Make a wish
Was as real as it seemed
I made a mistake

And from the Heavens to the womb to the Heavens again.
From the ending to the ending, never got to begin.
Maybe one day we can meet face to face,
in a place without time and space.

Happy Birthday.


limyengchuan said...

It was painful reading the poem; yet I urged myself to go through each line. Scratching every verse as if was an itch that I could never have found myself, the words cut deep and agonising but I continued because it felt so human.

I thank the poem cos the pain made me feel so human, and I cursed it cos being human, I felt the pain.

Iris said...

We should be glad that we can feel pain for it is what that made us living.

This is actually a rap, titled Happy Birthday sang by Flipsyde featuring Piper.

Perhaps you would like to listen to this song, its so hauntingly beautiful that it aches just to listen to it.