In the Bible, God saw that Adam was lonely. During his sleep; God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. It was thus said that every man has a missing rib. only when you find the woman of your life; you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart.
A girl in love asked her boyfriend.
"Tell me, in your heart, what am I to you?"
"You are my rib."
After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a long while.
However, the youthful couple, due to their busy schedules and the never-ending worries of daily problems, began to drift apart and their lives became mundane.
All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.
One day, out of anger, the girl shouted.
"You don't love me!"
The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted.
"Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"
She turned quiet and stood there for a long while.
"If I am not your missing rib, please let me go. Let us find our soul mates separately. Its less painful this way."
Five years passed.
He had never remarried.
She had married a foreigner and divorced.
He felt anguished that she never waited for him. On one dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.
One day, they finally met.
At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good-byes.
She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them.
"How are you?"
"I'm fine. How about you. Have you found your missing rib?"
"No."
"I'll be flying to New York in the next flight."
"I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed."
With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye.
One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York, in the event that shocked the world.
Once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart.
He finally knew, she was his missing rib that he had carelessly broken.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外
海平面远方开始阴霾
悲伤要怎么平静纯白
我的脸上始终挟带
一抹浅浅的无奈
你用唇语说你要离开
心不在
那难过无声慢了下来
汹涌潮水你听明白
不是浪而是泪海
转身离开分手你有话说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外
我们的爱差异一直存在回不来
风中尘埃竟累积成伤害女:等待竟累积成伤害
转身离开分手说不出来
蔚蓝的珊瑚海错过瞬间苍白
当初彼此你有我的不够成熟坦白
不应该
热情不再笑容勉强不来
爱深埋珊瑚海
毁坏的沙雕如何重来
有裂痕的爱怎么重盖
只是一切结束太快
你说你无法释怀
贝壳里隐藏什么期待
等花儿开
我们也已经无心再猜
脸上海风
咸咸的爱
尝不出还有未来
转身离开分手你有话说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外
我们的爱差异一直存在回不来
风中尘埃竟累积成伤害女:等待竟累积成伤害
转身离开分手说不出来
蔚蓝的珊瑚海错过瞬间苍白
当初彼此你有我的不够成熟坦白
不应该
热情不在笑容勉强不来女:你的笑容勉强不来
爱深埋珊瑚海
悲伤要怎么平静纯白
我的脸上始终挟带
一抹浅浅的无奈
你用唇语说你要离开
心不在
那难过无声慢了下来
汹涌潮水你听明白
不是浪而是泪海
转身离开分手你有话说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外
我们的爱差异一直存在回不来
风中尘埃竟累积成伤害女:等待竟累积成伤害
转身离开分手说不出来
蔚蓝的珊瑚海错过瞬间苍白
当初彼此你有我的不够成熟坦白
不应该
热情不再笑容勉强不来
爱深埋珊瑚海
毁坏的沙雕如何重来
有裂痕的爱怎么重盖
只是一切结束太快
你说你无法释怀
贝壳里隐藏什么期待
等花儿开
我们也已经无心再猜
脸上海风
咸咸的爱
尝不出还有未来
转身离开分手你有话说不出来
海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外
我们的爱差异一直存在回不来
风中尘埃竟累积成伤害女:等待竟累积成伤害
转身离开分手说不出来
蔚蓝的珊瑚海错过瞬间苍白
当初彼此你有我的不够成熟坦白
不应该
热情不在笑容勉强不来女:你的笑容勉强不来
爱深埋珊瑚海
As you wanted...
How does humanitarian intervention strengthen or weaken the state?
Before we answer this question, lets talk a little about what is humanitarian intervention. Humanitarian intervention is the agreed used of force, specifically a foreign military force on another state to address the threat of large scale violence and violations of fundamental human rights in that state. Such intervention is not welcome and is without the agreement of the violated country. The main motivation behind such impreachment of the sovereign of a state is justified by the fact that grave human rights have been breached and nothing short of a foreign military force is able to correct or address the issue and restore international peace and security.
There are mainly 2 concerns behind humanitarian intervention, the sovereignty of the country and the existing human rights violations in the state. The sovereignty of a state gives it the legal rights and freedom to govern the country and the people in ways that are deemed the most beneficial to the state and most importantly free from foreign interferences in the policy making of the country. Preservation of such sovereignty therefore is vital in internationl relations.
Humanitarian intervention is therefore executed in the event when violators of human rights justify themselves using sovereignty as a rational for their actions, thus hiding behind the protection of sovereignty. When such interference is imposed on the state, the freedom of the state to rule itself is directly seized and with that all the internation legal rights of the state are diminished or perhaps even reduced to a nil state. Without such legal rights, the state is clapsed in a grid lock and is paralysed in the governing of the itself. It is vulnerable to foreign policies that may not necessarily be to its own benefits or in worse cases, it might even be subjected to foreign policies that benefit outside forces instead of itself. Therefore from the definition of humanitarian intervention, we can say that the state is greatly weakened as it is very vulnerable to negative political forces.
Another issue that is brought about by humanitarian intervention is the further and direct violations of human rights brought about by the foreign military forces. As history has shown, although it may be necessary, military force may not always be the best solution when it comes to suppressing civil wars or events of human rights violation, specifically when the forgeign military forces abuse their authority as peacekeepers and become punishers instead, thus futher deteriorating human rights in the country. Such situations or side effects of humanitarian interventions are even made more serious when the peacekeepers themselves become the violators.
However, that being said, humanitarian intervention is perhaps the most logical way in upholding stability of a country inflicted with grave human rights violations. Critical problems require drastic actions and in the events of such massive infringement of human rights, there need to be immediate actions instead of conventions and talks from the international arena to stabilize the unrests in the country and promote international peace. It should however be noted that humanitarian intervention should be considered a temporary solution and never a permanent one, though the length of the military imposition is quite ambiguous. Humanitarian intervention thus provide a form of temporary relief to the international body in helping to tackle the source of the unrests in the country and with it, addressing the human rights violations of the country. Issues such as economic inequality, political unstability or even racial disharmony are perhaps the most common roots of unrests in most states which directly contributes to violations of human rights. In a very direct way, we can therefore say that humanitarian intervention brings about stability to the state.
More here and here
I have ran out of juice to write, this is the best I can come up with in a state of sleepiness and grogginess!
Before we answer this question, lets talk a little about what is humanitarian intervention. Humanitarian intervention is the agreed used of force, specifically a foreign military force on another state to address the threat of large scale violence and violations of fundamental human rights in that state. Such intervention is not welcome and is without the agreement of the violated country. The main motivation behind such impreachment of the sovereign of a state is justified by the fact that grave human rights have been breached and nothing short of a foreign military force is able to correct or address the issue and restore international peace and security.
There are mainly 2 concerns behind humanitarian intervention, the sovereignty of the country and the existing human rights violations in the state. The sovereignty of a state gives it the legal rights and freedom to govern the country and the people in ways that are deemed the most beneficial to the state and most importantly free from foreign interferences in the policy making of the country. Preservation of such sovereignty therefore is vital in internationl relations.
Humanitarian intervention is therefore executed in the event when violators of human rights justify themselves using sovereignty as a rational for their actions, thus hiding behind the protection of sovereignty. When such interference is imposed on the state, the freedom of the state to rule itself is directly seized and with that all the internation legal rights of the state are diminished or perhaps even reduced to a nil state. Without such legal rights, the state is clapsed in a grid lock and is paralysed in the governing of the itself. It is vulnerable to foreign policies that may not necessarily be to its own benefits or in worse cases, it might even be subjected to foreign policies that benefit outside forces instead of itself. Therefore from the definition of humanitarian intervention, we can say that the state is greatly weakened as it is very vulnerable to negative political forces.
Another issue that is brought about by humanitarian intervention is the further and direct violations of human rights brought about by the foreign military forces. As history has shown, although it may be necessary, military force may not always be the best solution when it comes to suppressing civil wars or events of human rights violation, specifically when the forgeign military forces abuse their authority as peacekeepers and become punishers instead, thus futher deteriorating human rights in the country. Such situations or side effects of humanitarian interventions are even made more serious when the peacekeepers themselves become the violators.
However, that being said, humanitarian intervention is perhaps the most logical way in upholding stability of a country inflicted with grave human rights violations. Critical problems require drastic actions and in the events of such massive infringement of human rights, there need to be immediate actions instead of conventions and talks from the international arena to stabilize the unrests in the country and promote international peace. It should however be noted that humanitarian intervention should be considered a temporary solution and never a permanent one, though the length of the military imposition is quite ambiguous. Humanitarian intervention thus provide a form of temporary relief to the international body in helping to tackle the source of the unrests in the country and with it, addressing the human rights violations of the country. Issues such as economic inequality, political unstability or even racial disharmony are perhaps the most common roots of unrests in most states which directly contributes to violations of human rights. In a very direct way, we can therefore say that humanitarian intervention brings about stability to the state.
More here and here
I have ran out of juice to write, this is the best I can come up with in a state of sleepiness and grogginess!
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Interesting Photos
I snapped the below picture while crossing the junction in front of SMU last week.. Finally, an entry of mine that was Browned.. Heh..
Anyone spotted the spelling error?
Anyone spotted the spelling error?
Thursday, March 23, 2006
If God had a name
If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome
Monday, March 20, 2006
Phone checks
On the one hand, I am glad that both my parents are healthy and have the ability to nag at me for some tiny nitty critty details and on the other hand, I sometimes wish that they will just leave me alone. They really get on my nerves and I mean really..
Everynight, without fail, they will call me to check on what time I will be back home. And I mean every single bloody fucking night. Even if I aleady told them beforehand that I will be back home late cos I have some appointment and stuff like that and they will still call me if I am not back home after certain hours. And its super fucking irritating.
I was out at JB for my eye check up and decided to go catch a movie after that. At around 8pm plus, my mum called me. The ring tone already should have indicated to her that I was still out of Singapore and yet she just kept calling, even after I hung up on her. I was in the fucking cinema for Christ sake! And so she just kept calling and calling until I had no choice but to send her 3 messages to ask her to stop. And that still did not work. In the end, I had to answer the stupid bloody phone call in the cinema, irritating other people as a result.
Then while on the bus back in Singapore, she called me again. She asked if I was back in Singapore and I blasted her off in the bus. I mean, couldn't had listen to the ring tone in the phone that I was already back in Singapore soil?!
And then after I hung up the call, and got off the bus, she sent me a message asking me what time I would be back home and do I need to work tomorrow since it was already late. For fuck sake! I already told her I was back in Singapore already ain't I?!
I ignored her message and came back home. The moment I came home, I stormed into her room and totally lost it, not that I was very proud of it but my nerves have already been frayed by the tireness of travelling to and fro M'sia and then all the pollution and crowd that I had encountered on the journey. I am always drained and in a bad mood whenever I come back from my eye check-ups.
So I basically warned my parents that if they should continue their ways especially after I had already told them not to continue, I will be moving out on my own and basically shut them out of my life.
Dad woke up and blasted me off from throwing my tempers anyhow the moment I stepped into the house. I basically asked him to shut the fuck up and went to shower, ignoring him.
I mean, I was definitely not right to let my anger got over me but this bloody phone call thingy had already be dragged on for a bloody long time. I had already told them that I am in my mid-twenties, going to be in my thirties soon and they still keep track of my personal life?! For fuck sake! Its true that they will always be worried about what I do and treat me like a child but can you imagine how I will look if I were out with my colleagues and boss and yet had to entertain my parent's checks on the bloody phone call!? Sometimes I feel like smashing the stupid fucking phone into the wall!
Fucking hell, I am so damn pissed now that I feel like storming into their room, wake them up from their sleep and shout at them again.
I need something to vent my anger now.
Everynight, without fail, they will call me to check on what time I will be back home. And I mean every single bloody fucking night. Even if I aleady told them beforehand that I will be back home late cos I have some appointment and stuff like that and they will still call me if I am not back home after certain hours. And its super fucking irritating.
I was out at JB for my eye check up and decided to go catch a movie after that. At around 8pm plus, my mum called me. The ring tone already should have indicated to her that I was still out of Singapore and yet she just kept calling, even after I hung up on her. I was in the fucking cinema for Christ sake! And so she just kept calling and calling until I had no choice but to send her 3 messages to ask her to stop. And that still did not work. In the end, I had to answer the stupid bloody phone call in the cinema, irritating other people as a result.
Then while on the bus back in Singapore, she called me again. She asked if I was back in Singapore and I blasted her off in the bus. I mean, couldn't had listen to the ring tone in the phone that I was already back in Singapore soil?!
And then after I hung up the call, and got off the bus, she sent me a message asking me what time I would be back home and do I need to work tomorrow since it was already late. For fuck sake! I already told her I was back in Singapore already ain't I?!
I ignored her message and came back home. The moment I came home, I stormed into her room and totally lost it, not that I was very proud of it but my nerves have already been frayed by the tireness of travelling to and fro M'sia and then all the pollution and crowd that I had encountered on the journey. I am always drained and in a bad mood whenever I come back from my eye check-ups.
So I basically warned my parents that if they should continue their ways especially after I had already told them not to continue, I will be moving out on my own and basically shut them out of my life.
Dad woke up and blasted me off from throwing my tempers anyhow the moment I stepped into the house. I basically asked him to shut the fuck up and went to shower, ignoring him.
I mean, I was definitely not right to let my anger got over me but this bloody phone call thingy had already be dragged on for a bloody long time. I had already told them that I am in my mid-twenties, going to be in my thirties soon and they still keep track of my personal life?! For fuck sake! Its true that they will always be worried about what I do and treat me like a child but can you imagine how I will look if I were out with my colleagues and boss and yet had to entertain my parent's checks on the bloody phone call!? Sometimes I feel like smashing the stupid fucking phone into the wall!
Fucking hell, I am so damn pissed now that I feel like storming into their room, wake them up from their sleep and shout at them again.
I need something to vent my anger now.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Roc project: Never
I can't be with you
I can't be with you again
Don't remind me of the good times that we had
Learn a lot from us instead
I never want these feelings to ever come again
You'll never hear me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
Please don't tell me that you've changed
Don't wanna hear on how you've lost your evil ways
The one who's changed this time is me
And I wont go back to feeling helpless and deceived
You'll never hear me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
You'll never here me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
To think you had me fooled every now and then
You had me believing that I was the reason that you left
But I wont fall back in love with you again
I don't even wanna be
Your friend
oh no no
You'll never hear me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
You'll never here me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
Your love is so past tense
I can't be with you again
Don't remind me of the good times that we had
Learn a lot from us instead
I never want these feelings to ever come again
You'll never hear me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
Please don't tell me that you've changed
Don't wanna hear on how you've lost your evil ways
The one who's changed this time is me
And I wont go back to feeling helpless and deceived
You'll never hear me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
You'll never here me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
To think you had me fooled every now and then
You had me believing that I was the reason that you left
But I wont fall back in love with you again
I don't even wanna be
Your friend
oh no no
You'll never hear me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
You'll never here me crying
You'll never see me trying
To love you once again
Your love is so past tense
Your love is so past tense
Wasting corner
There was once a man and because of this misdeeds while he was younger, he is now suffering for his foolish ways. He is sick now and has no one to take care of him. All his children have their own families and careers. His wife does not want to live with him. As a result, there is no one to look after him so his children put him in an old folk's home.
When my parents went to visit him yesterday, he had totally changed. From a vital man with a loud voice and a loud temper, he is now a sickly, thin and vulnerable person. All he ever does these days is to sleep, eat, sleep more and then eat more. There isn't anything for him to look forward to and there isn't anything for him to do everyday. He is like wasting his life away in a space confined for the neglects of the society. All the folks there are suffering the same fate as him.
I have always been bewildered at the fear of the old folks of having to stay into an old folk's home until now. To me, having a place to stay and having someone to take care of you when you are old and sickly is so much better than having no one. Imagine having to survive by yourself when you are old and defenceless, scared of everything and anything. Its so scary. What makes it even worse if none of your children want to take the responsibilies to take care of you, pushing and arguing about who should be the one to shoulder the burden of having to do that. The latter is enough to send me running to an old folk's home. That is, if I ever do get married and ever have any children.
So.. Having a place to live and having people to look after you in an old folk's home surely beats having going through all these. That is, until I realized what comes with living in an old folk's home. Its not only about the physical aspects but also about the mental and emotional strain. Everywhere one looks, there are death about, impeding death. Old and sickly people lying on their bed everyday, nowhere to look at, nothing to look forward to. Justs spending each day, one after the other, hoping for some hope.
Its ironic that the word 'home' conjures up liveliness, warmth, love and such and yet when you put the words "old folks" in front of it, the whole meaning of just got mutated. There is no hope, no love, no family, no hope. It should not even be called an old folk's home. It should be called a wasting corner. A corner hiden from the rest of the society meant for old people to waste away.
When my parents went to visit him yesterday, he had totally changed. From a vital man with a loud voice and a loud temper, he is now a sickly, thin and vulnerable person. All he ever does these days is to sleep, eat, sleep more and then eat more. There isn't anything for him to look forward to and there isn't anything for him to do everyday. He is like wasting his life away in a space confined for the neglects of the society. All the folks there are suffering the same fate as him.
I have always been bewildered at the fear of the old folks of having to stay into an old folk's home until now. To me, having a place to stay and having someone to take care of you when you are old and sickly is so much better than having no one. Imagine having to survive by yourself when you are old and defenceless, scared of everything and anything. Its so scary. What makes it even worse if none of your children want to take the responsibilies to take care of you, pushing and arguing about who should be the one to shoulder the burden of having to do that. The latter is enough to send me running to an old folk's home. That is, if I ever do get married and ever have any children.
So.. Having a place to live and having people to look after you in an old folk's home surely beats having going through all these. That is, until I realized what comes with living in an old folk's home. Its not only about the physical aspects but also about the mental and emotional strain. Everywhere one looks, there are death about, impeding death. Old and sickly people lying on their bed everyday, nowhere to look at, nothing to look forward to. Justs spending each day, one after the other, hoping for some hope.
Its ironic that the word 'home' conjures up liveliness, warmth, love and such and yet when you put the words "old folks" in front of it, the whole meaning of just got mutated. There is no hope, no love, no family, no hope. It should not even be called an old folk's home. It should be called a wasting corner. A corner hiden from the rest of the society meant for old people to waste away.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Till Kingdom Comes
Still my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come
Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years
For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become
For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come
Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years
For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become
For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Swallowed in the sea
You cut me down a tree
And brought it back to me
And that's what made me see
Where I was going wrong
You put me on a shelf
And kept me for yourself
I can only blame myself
You can only blame me
And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me
And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
or swallowed in the sea
You put me on a line
And hung me out to dry
And darling, that's when I
decided to go see
You cut me down to size
And opened up my eyes
Made me realize
What I could not see
And I could write a book
The one they'll say that shook
The world and then it took
It took it back from me
And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
And you'll come back to me
Not swallowed in the sea
And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me
The streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me
Oh, what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget, but not forgive
Not loving all you see
All the streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
You belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
Yeah, you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
And brought it back to me
And that's what made me see
Where I was going wrong
You put me on a shelf
And kept me for yourself
I can only blame myself
You can only blame me
And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me
And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
or swallowed in the sea
You put me on a line
And hung me out to dry
And darling, that's when I
decided to go see
You cut me down to size
And opened up my eyes
Made me realize
What I could not see
And I could write a book
The one they'll say that shook
The world and then it took
It took it back from me
And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
And you'll come back to me
Not swallowed in the sea
And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me
The streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me
Oh, what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget, but not forgive
Not loving all you see
All the streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
You belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
Yeah, you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Fed-up
I quarelled with Ah Beng today. I have been tolerating him for a long time over his sacarstic remarks already and I was at the end of my patience.
Boss asked the both of us to his room to discuss on the storage space for the incoming trucks. We had been running out space lately and he was rather worried.
"Iris, how many trucks are there in the yard currently?" Boss asked me.
"About 400."
"Cannot be lah, where got 400?!" Ah Beng scoffed. He did not look at me when he said that
Ok, so to prove him wrong, I went to check on my stock status for them.
Yet, he refused to belive me and called our general workers to count the numbers of trucks at the yard.
"David, go count how many trucks are there in our yard. You are busy now but later at night after you finished your work, I want you to go count how many trucks are there in the yard. Give me the number by tonight."
Bloody hell! These workers had been working non-stop for the whole day and because he refused to lose, he actually forced this extra job on them! And thats after David told him that there are 400 plus trucks in the yard! Fucker is so bossy!
In the end, there really are 400 plus units of truck in the yard.
Then boss asked me "How many square feet is there in a hectre?"
I said, "No idea. I have to check."
"Wah, NUS student don know this?" Ah Beng remarked.
"I NTU, not NUs. Why am I expected to know. You yourself also don know."
"I Geylang not graduate hor."
"So? Not my problem."
Boss then said "Whats wrong with you 2? Little things also want to argued."
I kept quiet and Ah Beng said, "She so unhappy then don say anything lah. Next time I don want to take care of the trucks already!"
To cut the long story short, Boss talked to me and Ah Beng individually and I vented out my frustrations to him.
I told this to Boss:
Aye fuck it, if I cannot stand it, I shall just throw a letter to my Boss and leave. That fucking Ah Beng is just not worth my time. Hes a bloody bossy, sensitive, petty, stucked-up stupid fucker. I have no time for such losers who thinks so highly of himself just cos hes more loud than the rest.
I better start looking for a job now.
Boss asked the both of us to his room to discuss on the storage space for the incoming trucks. We had been running out space lately and he was rather worried.
"Iris, how many trucks are there in the yard currently?" Boss asked me.
"About 400."
"Cannot be lah, where got 400?!" Ah Beng scoffed. He did not look at me when he said that
Ok, so to prove him wrong, I went to check on my stock status for them.
Yet, he refused to belive me and called our general workers to count the numbers of trucks at the yard.
"David, go count how many trucks are there in our yard. You are busy now but later at night after you finished your work, I want you to go count how many trucks are there in the yard. Give me the number by tonight."
Bloody hell! These workers had been working non-stop for the whole day and because he refused to lose, he actually forced this extra job on them! And thats after David told him that there are 400 plus trucks in the yard! Fucker is so bossy!
In the end, there really are 400 plus units of truck in the yard.
Then boss asked me "How many square feet is there in a hectre?"
I said, "No idea. I have to check."
"Wah, NUS student don know this?" Ah Beng remarked.
"I NTU, not NUs. Why am I expected to know. You yourself also don know."
"I Geylang not graduate hor."
"So? Not my problem."
Boss then said "Whats wrong with you 2? Little things also want to argued."
I kept quiet and Ah Beng said, "She so unhappy then don say anything lah. Next time I don want to take care of the trucks already!"
To cut the long story short, Boss talked to me and Ah Beng individually and I vented out my frustrations to him.
I told this to Boss:
- Ah Beng is very sensitive towards himself but he is very insensitive towards others. Boss told me if I know that he is a sensitive person, then just let him be. I retorted back that I am also a sensitive person and yet I don expect him to be sensitive towards him so why must I be super nice to him just so I don hurt his feelings? Boss had no answer to that.
- He expects others to stroke his ego and when they don do that, he thinks that person is not happy with him. He had been ignoring me since last week and yet expects me to approach him to suck up to him. I don see the point in doing that so I had been ignoring him as well. Besides, I did not have any dealings with during work and so I don want to waste my time with such childish games. And that ticked him off. The more he ignored him, the more he expects me to approach him and the more I ignored him, the piss-er he gets with me.
- Boss said Ah Beng thinks that my workload is very light and thats why I have been going home early for the past few weeks. I retorted back that working late or not is not a matter of work load. Its a matter of how I planned my schedule well. I know which are the things that are urgent and which issues are not. I don see the point of staying back late just so to look as if I have lots of stuff to do. And besides Ah Beng expects everyone to work late when he is working late. And yet when he leaves early, he also expects others to work late too. Its ridiculous. Boss then said if I work late, how come don want to let the rest of the team know. (Ah Beng's office is on another level so he will not be able to know what time I worked until unless he comes up to my level or I tell him before I leave.) I said I don see the point in letting anyone know if I am working late or leaving early cos my job is my responsibility only and it does not concern others so why should I report to anyone if I am working later than the rest. Just the other day, when Ah Beng saw me leaving at 5pm, he immediately rushed out of the office and exclaimed loudly to me how come I am leaving early. I pissed him off when I ignored him and wave him off without even stopping and jumping on the cab. I don think I need to answer him at all and I don think I should even be wasting my time explaining to him.
- Ah Beng is very bossy and he thinks everyone should report to him. I told Boss that Ah Beng expects me to bow down to him and listen to all his words and I said I am not someone to do that. I am not reporting to him anyway, which Boss confirmed with me that I am reporting to him and not Ah Beng.
- I am not an impatient person but there is a limit to my patience. And I am nearing my limit. I have been tolerating him all these while and its been very tiring. All these nitty-critty issues are really very childish. Everyone seems to be scared of him cos hes more loud and fouled mouthed then others but I don see the point in doing that. I have just been tolerating him all these while. I am fine with stroking his ego but I can only do just that amount. Don expect me to put him on the altar and treat him like some kind of deity. If I cannot tolerate him any longer, I am just going to ignore him. And I am fine with that as long as he does not step on my toes. In fact, I actually wanted to talk to him on whats his problem with me but I cannot guarantee that I will clash with him more at this juncture so I choose to ignore him now.
- He has been making sacarstic remarks about me being a gradute and how I wasted my studies and stuff like that. I told Boss that if he has a problem with me being a graduate and drawing a higher salary than him but yet have less experiences than him, then just come to me. There is no need to make sacarstic about me. Boss said there are other graduates around in the office so I said "Precisely! Then why is he targeting me only!?" Which Boss has nothing to say.
- I told Boss that all these stuff are really very childish and on top of my workload, I still have to face these everyday. I don know how long I can tolerate this.
Aye fuck it, if I cannot stand it, I shall just throw a letter to my Boss and leave. That fucking Ah Beng is just not worth my time. Hes a bloody bossy, sensitive, petty, stucked-up stupid fucker. I have no time for such losers who thinks so highly of himself just cos hes more loud than the rest.
I better start looking for a job now.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Ass + mule = stoo-pig
Sometimes I have no idea if its my father who is supposed to be setting a good example or its supposed to be me reminding him what are the things that are not supposed to be done or said. I guess the older one gets, the crankier and bad tempered one becomes. Its so fucking frustrating.
I came home from work, tired and exahusted, especially since I went on an impulse grocery shopping trip and carried 2 large bags of grocery on my way back. Tired, hungry and grouching from the day's work. Not exactly in a mood to talk or do anything else. So, I showered and cooked a large bowl of instant noodles and plonked down in front of my TV, just letting myself be brain dead.
As usual, my parents were very talkative. They usually are whenever I came home, probably cos they want to talk to me. I don really mind that except that mum's voice was getting louder and louder and it was starting to get on my nerve. So I shhed her and continued to watch my mindless TV programmed. Did not even know what was the show about except that it was about some hawker centre, whatever.. I was just contented with being dead in front of my TV and enjoying my sinfully large bowl of instant noodles.
Ozzie was just lying underneath our dinning room table. She was having her menses and was not really in an active state of mind. Besides, she seem to think that wearing a pad and a pair of cute panties looked very shameful and would always try to hide her butt away from our view. Its hilarious actually and I always enjoy teasing her for it. Yes, I am that mean, shut up.
Anyway, mum was playing and cooing at Ozzie, comforting her. She certainly did not look too well. And then my dear old father decided to play with Ozzie.
With his toes.
On her nose.
So mum asked him not to and he said, "no big deal, its only a toe wat. Besides my feet aren't dirty."
I was like "Wat?! Your toe on her nose?! No big deal?!"
So I went, "Would you like it if I put my toes on your face? You want that??!"
And that set him off. He stood up, pushed the chair back and proceeded to bang the utensils in the kitchen, making as much noise as possible in the kitchen, purposely irritating me as best as he can.
It was fortunate that Mike called me at that point cos I had no choice but to shut up and answer the phone.
While talking on the phone, my dear old man walked to his bedroom and kicked the door open..! Kaoz! Fucking hell..
"So old already still behave like a kid! Kaoz.." I went as soon as I hung up the phone.
That old man still could not take it lying down and proceeded to bang whatever things that his hands can find in his room. What a stubborn old mule..
Anyway, I was too tired and too fucked up to give a damn about him. He can go and destroy his whole room for all I care and I will not give a fuck about him.. Dumbass.
So I finished my noodles calmly, washed the dishes, turned off the TV and here I am trying to vent my frustrations at my old man with my iBook.
Not that it really helps.
I came home from work, tired and exahusted, especially since I went on an impulse grocery shopping trip and carried 2 large bags of grocery on my way back. Tired, hungry and grouching from the day's work. Not exactly in a mood to talk or do anything else. So, I showered and cooked a large bowl of instant noodles and plonked down in front of my TV, just letting myself be brain dead.
As usual, my parents were very talkative. They usually are whenever I came home, probably cos they want to talk to me. I don really mind that except that mum's voice was getting louder and louder and it was starting to get on my nerve. So I shhed her and continued to watch my mindless TV programmed. Did not even know what was the show about except that it was about some hawker centre, whatever.. I was just contented with being dead in front of my TV and enjoying my sinfully large bowl of instant noodles.
Ozzie was just lying underneath our dinning room table. She was having her menses and was not really in an active state of mind. Besides, she seem to think that wearing a pad and a pair of cute panties looked very shameful and would always try to hide her butt away from our view. Its hilarious actually and I always enjoy teasing her for it. Yes, I am that mean, shut up.
Anyway, mum was playing and cooing at Ozzie, comforting her. She certainly did not look too well. And then my dear old father decided to play with Ozzie.
With his toes.
On her nose.
So mum asked him not to and he said, "no big deal, its only a toe wat. Besides my feet aren't dirty."
I was like "Wat?! Your toe on her nose?! No big deal?!"
So I went, "Would you like it if I put my toes on your face? You want that??!"
And that set him off. He stood up, pushed the chair back and proceeded to bang the utensils in the kitchen, making as much noise as possible in the kitchen, purposely irritating me as best as he can.
It was fortunate that Mike called me at that point cos I had no choice but to shut up and answer the phone.
While talking on the phone, my dear old man walked to his bedroom and kicked the door open..! Kaoz! Fucking hell..
"So old already still behave like a kid! Kaoz.." I went as soon as I hung up the phone.
That old man still could not take it lying down and proceeded to bang whatever things that his hands can find in his room. What a stubborn old mule..
Anyway, I was too tired and too fucked up to give a damn about him. He can go and destroy his whole room for all I care and I will not give a fuck about him.. Dumbass.
So I finished my noodles calmly, washed the dishes, turned off the TV and here I am trying to vent my frustrations at my old man with my iBook.
Not that it really helps.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
七里香
窗外的麻雀在电线杆上多嘴
你说这一句很有夏天的感觉
手中的铅笔在纸上来来回回
我用几行字形容你是我的谁
秋刀鱼的滋味猫跟你都想了解
初恋的香味就这样被我们寻回
那温暖的阳光像刚摘的新鲜草莓
你说你舍不得吃掉这一种感觉
雨下整夜我的爱溢出就像雨水
院子落叶跟我的思念厚厚一叠
几句是非也无法将我的热情冷却
你出现在我诗的每一页
雨下整夜我的爱溢出就像雨水
窗台蝴蝶像诗里纷飞的美丽章节
我接着写把永远爱你写进诗的结尾
你是我唯一想要的了解
那饱满的稻穗幸福了这个季节
而你的脸颊像田里熟透的蕃茄
你突然对我说七里香的名字很美
我此刻却只想亲吻你倔强的嘴
你说这一句很有夏天的感觉
手中的铅笔在纸上来来回回
我用几行字形容你是我的谁
秋刀鱼的滋味猫跟你都想了解
初恋的香味就这样被我们寻回
那温暖的阳光像刚摘的新鲜草莓
你说你舍不得吃掉这一种感觉
雨下整夜我的爱溢出就像雨水
院子落叶跟我的思念厚厚一叠
几句是非也无法将我的热情冷却
你出现在我诗的每一页
雨下整夜我的爱溢出就像雨水
窗台蝴蝶像诗里纷飞的美丽章节
我接着写把永远爱你写进诗的结尾
你是我唯一想要的了解
那饱满的稻穗幸福了这个季节
而你的脸颊像田里熟透的蕃茄
你突然对我说七里香的名字很美
我此刻却只想亲吻你倔强的嘴
发如雪
狼牙月伊人憔悴我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭
繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解只恋你化身的蝶
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁红尘醉微醺的岁月
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
铜镜映无邪扎马尾你若撒野今生我把酒奉陪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭
繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解只恋你化身的蝶
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁红尘醉微醺的岁月
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
铜镜映无邪扎马尾你若撒野今生我把酒奉陪
Impulsive spending -> no good
I really need to change my impulsive behaviour. Especially when it comes to financial stuff. Damn.
Last night, due to my immense boredom, I actually threw away $120 not including the charges that I had to pay when I took the cab home. And I asked where had all my money went to. What a dumbass.
Feeling really hungry after an afternoon of workout, I suggested to have a meal outside. I wanted to eat something really sinful. Jack's place was all that I had in mind actually. And we ordered:
After dinner, it was off for desserts. There really goes my diet. Heh! We walked around and the only ice-cream I really had a craving for was McDonald's. So, it was Chocolate Fudeg sundae, which incidentally was rather nice considering that I am not really a chocolate person..
It was already about 11pm but I wasn't in the mood to go home and so I suggested going to the K-box, forgetting that they charged on a per-hourly basis. To cut the story short, we went there and sang ourselves hoarse for 2 hours. It was rather refreshing since that was the first time I went singing with someone of the opposite sex and not in a large group. Its funny but I did not even feel awkward!
Then the bill came and my eyeballs nearly popped out for the 2nd time for the night again. It was a fucking $52! Damn.
I think at the rate I spent money, it will be sooner or later before my eyeballs really pop out.
Last night, due to my immense boredom, I actually threw away $120 not including the charges that I had to pay when I took the cab home. And I asked where had all my money went to. What a dumbass.
Feeling really hungry after an afternoon of workout, I suggested to have a meal outside. I wanted to eat something really sinful. Jack's place was all that I had in mind actually. And we ordered:
- Steak with catfish
- Venison steak with crayfish
- House salad
- Shitake mushroom soup
- A glass house blend juice mixed from carrots, oranges and watermelon
- A glass of mango juice
After dinner, it was off for desserts. There really goes my diet. Heh! We walked around and the only ice-cream I really had a craving for was McDonald's. So, it was Chocolate Fudeg sundae, which incidentally was rather nice considering that I am not really a chocolate person..
It was already about 11pm but I wasn't in the mood to go home and so I suggested going to the K-box, forgetting that they charged on a per-hourly basis. To cut the story short, we went there and sang ourselves hoarse for 2 hours. It was rather refreshing since that was the first time I went singing with someone of the opposite sex and not in a large group. Its funny but I did not even feel awkward!
Then the bill came and my eyeballs nearly popped out for the 2nd time for the night again. It was a fucking $52! Damn.
I think at the rate I spent money, it will be sooner or later before my eyeballs really pop out.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Ghosts, good and bad
I was confronted by my past ghosts twice in a week. Its been a quite a ride. A chapter ends and a new chapter begins, but I have yet to know where I stand in all these though I am very sure the feelings are a little different. You know what I mean.
Someone whom I thought has been totally gone from my life came back, and helped close a chapter of my life, totally. I had been living with a heavy burden of hurt, misunderstandings and the bitter thought of being hated by you. Its been quite a while but I felt vindicated and freed. Thank you.
And all these were forcefully taken away from me when I was confronted by another past ghost, reminding me of the mistakes that I made and the vulnerability that I allowed myself to get into. The forceful turbulence that resulted when I saw the very thing that I had been avoiding, at somewhere so close to me, of all places. Why is the world so damn small? Why do I have to go through all these again? Damn it. Why does he have to be there? Its been quite a while and I thought I had gotten over it and yet when I saw it, everything just came flooding back. I froze. The shame, the guilt and especially the regrets. Its a little too much for me to handle, especially since I am just trying to get adjusted. There is no worse feeling in the world then to hate yourself, to yearn to do something to vent the hatred and yet too cowardly to do it. Its the worse kind of hatred in the world.
Eelin said I need to be able to look at the monsters of my life in the eye and be able to feel forgiveness and its only then will I really be freed. The thing is, I think there really is no forgiveness or something like that, towards anyone. I did what I did and I am still paying for it, in a certain way, whenever when I am alone. I need more time I guess.
Why did I ever allow myself to get so damn fucked up?
Someone whom I thought has been totally gone from my life came back, and helped close a chapter of my life, totally. I had been living with a heavy burden of hurt, misunderstandings and the bitter thought of being hated by you. Its been quite a while but I felt vindicated and freed. Thank you.
And all these were forcefully taken away from me when I was confronted by another past ghost, reminding me of the mistakes that I made and the vulnerability that I allowed myself to get into. The forceful turbulence that resulted when I saw the very thing that I had been avoiding, at somewhere so close to me, of all places. Why is the world so damn small? Why do I have to go through all these again? Damn it. Why does he have to be there? Its been quite a while and I thought I had gotten over it and yet when I saw it, everything just came flooding back. I froze. The shame, the guilt and especially the regrets. Its a little too much for me to handle, especially since I am just trying to get adjusted. There is no worse feeling in the world then to hate yourself, to yearn to do something to vent the hatred and yet too cowardly to do it. Its the worse kind of hatred in the world.
Eelin said I need to be able to look at the monsters of my life in the eye and be able to feel forgiveness and its only then will I really be freed. The thing is, I think there really is no forgiveness or something like that, towards anyone. I did what I did and I am still paying for it, in a certain way, whenever when I am alone. I need more time I guess.
Why did I ever allow myself to get so damn fucked up?
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