Monday, March 20, 2006

Phone checks

On the one hand, I am glad that both my parents are healthy and have the ability to nag at me for some tiny nitty critty details and on the other hand, I sometimes wish that they will just leave me alone. They really get on my nerves and I mean really..

Everynight, without fail, they will call me to check on what time I will be back home. And I mean every single bloody fucking night. Even if I aleady told them beforehand that I will be back home late cos I have some appointment and stuff like that and they will still call me if I am not back home after certain hours. And its super fucking irritating.

I was out at JB for my eye check up and decided to go catch a movie after that. At around 8pm plus, my mum called me. The ring tone already should have indicated to her that I was still out of Singapore and yet she just kept calling, even after I hung up on her. I was in the fucking cinema for Christ sake! And so she just kept calling and calling until I had no choice but to send her 3 messages to ask her to stop. And that still did not work. In the end, I had to answer the stupid bloody phone call in the cinema, irritating other people as a result.

Then while on the bus back in Singapore, she called me again. She asked if I was back in Singapore and I blasted her off in the bus. I mean, couldn't had listen to the ring tone in the phone that I was already back in Singapore soil?!

And then after I hung up the call, and got off the bus, she sent me a message asking me what time I would be back home and do I need to work tomorrow since it was already late. For fuck sake! I already told her I was back in Singapore already ain't I?!

I ignored her message and came back home. The moment I came home, I stormed into her room and totally lost it, not that I was very proud of it but my nerves have already been frayed by the tireness of travelling to and fro M'sia and then all the pollution and crowd that I had encountered on the journey. I am always drained and in a bad mood whenever I come back from my eye check-ups.

So I basically warned my parents that if they should continue their ways especially after I had already told them not to continue, I will be moving out on my own and basically shut them out of my life.

Dad woke up and blasted me off from throwing my tempers anyhow the moment I stepped into the house. I basically asked him to shut the fuck up and went to shower, ignoring him.

I mean, I was definitely not right to let my anger got over me but this bloody phone call thingy had already be dragged on for a bloody long time. I had already told them that I am in my mid-twenties, going to be in my thirties soon and they still keep track of my personal life?! For fuck sake! Its true that they will always be worried about what I do and treat me like a child but can you imagine how I will look if I were out with my colleagues and boss and yet had to entertain my parent's checks on the bloody phone call!? Sometimes I feel like smashing the stupid fucking phone into the wall!

Fucking hell, I am so damn pissed now that I feel like storming into their room, wake them up from their sleep and shout at them again.

I need something to vent my anger now.


someone like you said...

i understand your situation... imagine, you are going to reach your 30's soon and your parents still want to control and dictate you as if you are still a small kid... at least your dad is not violent when you blasted at him, mine would...
i've always been harbouring the thought of moving out on my own too, but sometime, i need to consider about other people feelings such as my grandma and not worsen the situation further...

Iris said...

I guess anger is still anger.. At the end of the day, parents are the ones we will run to whenever we meet any problems that we cannot solved and at the end of the day, they will still treat us as if we are still kids, having to rely on them for anything and everything. Perhaps they are reluctant to realize that they little cubs have grown up and is ready to take on the world! The day when my parents totally give up on me and let me do what I want wil be either the day I hurt and disappoint them so much that they don even want to own me or it will be the day I died.

There are other reasons why I am contemplating if I should move out. Reasons like having my own private space and avoiding conflicts with my silbings. There is really limited supply and unlimited demand of space in my family and I always believe that familarity breeds contempt so I guess if I do really want to move out, it will be cos I want my own private space instead of quarrels with my parents though sometimes both are NOT mutually exclusive!