Tuesday, May 23, 2006


I was on the bus this morning getting to work and was plugged into my K750i listening to the radio during the journey. Glenn and The Flying Dutchman were bantering on air as usual. This morning's topic was on sensitivity.

Specifically about how some cruel some people can be, verbally.

Specifically about how some seemingly innocent, out-of-jest comments can hurt so much that it may even drive the 'victim" to do something drastic to change the person that he/she was.

Specifically about how these comments can even totally destroy the confidence and self-esteem of a person.

When was the last time someone seemingly said jokingly that you have put on weight and that you arre fat. Or that you looked stupid or look ugly?

How did you feel? How did you react?

The normal and more common reaction would be to shrug it off and to laugh along with these people making such degradatory remarks about you and to sweep your own uneasiness and hurt underneath the blanket and appear nonchalant about such remarks.

Deep down however, the seed of self-hatred would have been sown. You start to hate youself for the way you are and for the way you look. Your confidence level will start to get eroded. And yet you refused to admit it and continued to be "brave' about it.

Its actually foolish. Be brave about it and admit that you don like the way people comment about you. Tell the person that its not funny to tease you or make you the centre of the joke if you don like it, that you don appreciate his style of bad jokings and his lack of sensitivity.

There was a lady who actually called in to the radio and talked about her story.

There used to be this school mate of her who always remarked that she was fat to people around her, even though the craziest thing was that she did not even know this guy at all, other than she went to the same school as her.

And the result?

She went on a crash diet, sometimes stop eating for a few days at a go. At her worse, she weighed 37kg at a height of 165cm. And her whole body system was so wrecked that she stopped having her menses for a year.

So the next time you feel like commenting or teasing someone for their weight or their look, think before you open your mouth. Would you want to have such comments?


Anonymous said...

i always got negative comments from people n I grow to accept it without taking it to my heart... most recommend I go plastic surgery as i looked too ugly..

like you said, the people shooting those comments should be more considerate b4 opening their mouth

Ah Tan

Paddy Tan said...

I like to look things from both sides. If the person is out to make fun with stupid comments, i will just ignore it but I make sure that he knows that it is funny to him but not to me.

If he pushes, I will make sure the words go right thru his rear that gonna hurt him bad, walking with legs wide apart.

Tit for tat.

Gizmore said...

Why take it negatively? Take anything that comes along your way and assess yourself. Take positive remedy actions if you feel those negative words are true and you will become a better person in future.