Journey to nowhere (2)

Some views on my way to my gym workout yesterday.

The first one is actually of a tiny little lizard or chameleon who was suntanning itself on a piece of concrete. Try and see if you can notice the happy little bugger..

The Heart Attack Burger!

Would any of you dare the try this mother of all burgers!?

Its called the Triple Bypass Burger - you are gonna need a triple heart bypass after you try it!

In case you are wondering, its calories hits 8000..!!!

From the Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona

Apparently they have antagonized some real nurses due to the notti nurse-wears that the waitresses wear.

Singapore Motor Show 2006

And this is my most favorite picture of all..

My bus journey

I once read a story about a girl and a bus that she was taking. Its a journey with a very, very long duration, one that will last her an entire lifetime.

I was reminded of this story when I recalled my own bus journey.

I was very young when I got onto the bus. I was very scared cos I was very alone. There was no one to guide me what I should do or how I should react on the journey.

Then the bus made a stop. Another girl came up the bus. She was my age and she looked really pretty. She came and sat beside me. We began to chat. And chat and chat. We promised each other that we will always remain as best friends. Sometimes we would get into arguments and sometimes we would get into cold wars but ultimately we would always end up being alright in the end. We were the bestest of friends.

And then her stop came. She waved her goodbyes and skipped down the steps. And she was gone like that. She did turn her head back to give me a last look before running off but after that she never looked back. I was sad. My best friend had already forgotten me. But I moved on, and continued my bus journey.

I was alone for a while, in my thoughts, having learned a new lesson in life.

The bus made another stop again. This time a young boy came in the bus. He saw me and smile at me. I was struck at once by his goofy grin. He was tall, much taller than me and had very broad and muscular shoulders. He came over and sat beside me. We talked and talked and never seemed to run out of topic to talk. Soon he began to hold my hands and hug me. I love the way he smelled and the way he talked. And the way he kissed. It was so sweet. I thought this time it will definitely be different from my best friend. I thought this young man would sit beside me permanently.

Alas, after a while, his hug was more and more distant, his kisses no longer as sweet, his conversation less warm. I no longer find him as warm as before. After a while I find his presence irksome and began to hope that he would get off his seat and get off the bus. I got what I wished and this young man arrived at his stop and he hopped down the bus, leaving his lingering scent on his seat, and went on his journey, never even giving me a second glance.

I picked up yet another lesson in life.

Suddenly, the bus came to another stop. This time however there were a large group of people, all of them about my age. They were very loud and cheerful. I like the way they talked and the way they played. They saw me and waved at me, coming over to my seat. They crowd around me and talked to me. I enjoyed their presence a lot. I know these are the people who will never let me down and whom I can count on forever if I were to need their help.

But this group of people also had their own journey to proceed. One by one they arrived at their stops and got off the bus. They left their contacts with me, making me promise to call them should I need any help. I smiled sadly and nodded. Their presence left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. I was alone once more.

And then the bus stopped again. This time a man came up the bus. I saw him and liked the way he walked so I waved him over, asking him to come over and sit with me. He smiled and came over. We talked, we chatted, we touched, we kissed and we hugged. We never ran out of topics to talk and we help each other with our problems. However, there were always the incessant arguments that we always seem to get into. It was after a while when the man said he could not tolerate me anymore and he stomped off the bus. I was left alone wondering what exactly had happened.

For a while I just stared out of the window, looking for the man, hoping that he would look back and explained to me what went on but it was not meant to be. He never looked back.

I was left alone again.

Suddenly, the bus opened its doors and the same man came in and sat beside me. I was amazed at his return. We were at our happiest again, talking and chatting again. This time we were more tolerant of each other though. But as before, we continued to quarrel and before long, the man stomped off the bus again. This time however, I was already prepared, though funnily enough, I still felt an aching inside. It seemed like however much preparation, there would always be a kind of dull ache whenever you are left alone.

And so I was once again left alone. On my bus journey, on an empty bus, wondering who will be coming up my bus. Another young girl or a young boy or a group of cheerful people or the man who made me angry and yet happy all the time?

Perhaps it would be better if I were left alone.

Help

Its so painful, why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to be made to go through this again?

Why do you have to do this to me? What did I do wrong?

How do I get rid of the pain? Its so suffocating, please someone tell me.

It ended

The first time it happened, I was left with a daze, amazed that it happened so fast. I never really comprehend what exactly happened that can make someone so close to me so angry with me.

Then he came back. It was a weird return. I never thought he would return to my life again. It was with a much heavy heart that I accepted it cos I already know what was going to be the consequences. And yet I accepted it.

The second time it happened, I was left with a heavy heart, a very heavy heart. I guess I have already been preparing for it to happened.

And now I am left with a very empty feeling again. I felt like a puppet sometimes, always being manipulated.

Its at times like these that I really hated myself for being so weak.

The Crime Library

I took leave today, to clear my mind as well as to take a break. I wasn't feeling quite well for the past couple of weeks, emotionally as well as physically. Perhaps its due to the hormone pills that I was taking. I think I lost some weight too, don know for sure cos I never weigh myself but my pants are definitely looser. Thats perhaps the only good thing that comes out of it since I started on the pill.

So now here I am, on a humid afternoon surfing on my laptop since the morning. My mobile was silent, thankfully, cos I am not dealing with operations anymore. Thank God for that..

I went through tons of sites, interesting ones and boring ones, read through dozens of blogs about the lives of people, some really interesting and some really mundane.

I think the one site which affected me the most is the Crime Library. It showcase the hideous nature of human, the stuff that mothers tell to their kids to scare them shitless when they are naughty and the stuff that most people would rather not talk about it just to appear normal.

Spent a large portion of the afternoon reading through the pages of the crimes that appear during history. Its scary how humans are actually capable of such sadistic acts. On the upside however, its also amazing how the law enforcers are able to deal with what they do, how they actually are able to still be normal when faced with evil. Its like reading CSI, Law & Order or NYPD, the reality version.

Ok, back to more sadistic activities of our society.

Which would you choose?

The best kind of love is one which sets you free, one which allows you to breathe.

The worse kind of hate is one which does not affect you anymore, one which is so strong that in the end, you don even feel anything anymore.

The worse kind of betrayal is one which you move on without word.

The worse kind of feeling is when you are feeling the worse kind of hatred, towards yourself.

Which would you choose?

The Orochi

T'was the first time we imported such a funny looking car. Everyone in the yard was having fun and driving it around. The car was rather fragile and was not meant to be driven. Its a prototype meant for the Motor Show 2006. Apparently, I was told that there will be 5 race queens show casing the car.

Look nice, feels cool but not a powerful car though. Believe it or not, its only a V6 and the engine is from Toyota.









It looked like this when it just came out from the container.









Beside the Orochi, there were 2 other models. All looking like cars out of some 60s movies.









I love the black one best. Sure head-turner if you drive it out.. And the interior is so comfortable that you can just live in it.

Simple things

Perhaps I should try to separate myself from my emotions. I am getting too emotional these days, perhaps its my hormones working up, or perhaps its just cos i have too much on my mind, my work, my personal life. Everything seem to be a big chunk of mess. How the hell did I ever let myself get into this situation?

Sometimes I just think I have became 2 very different person, one; the quiet and simple one, doing what was expected of me all the time and the other; a very demanding and bitchy girl who expect others perform according to her childish wants.

Sometimes I think I am not ready to grow up at all. Sometimes I feel that I am just a little girl stuck in this woman's body. And it feels suffocating, the responsibilities are too heavy, the environment is just too chaotic and the people are just too complicated. Everyone seem to have their own agenda.

Why couldn't things just be as simple as possible?