You know something?
I used to believe that all people are kind by nature and no one will hurt others intentionally. In my opinion, its really beautiful world out there. One just have to look in closer to find that the world is actually not that intolerable a place to live in.
How naive.
How dumb!
The older I am, the more disillusioned I am with life and with people. The way people treat others for their own sake, the way others justify their actions with comforting excuses without a second thought about how their selfish actions will affect the surroundings and the fakeness that exists in our societies are just so, should I say disgusting? Its so filthy that its mind boggling.
Humans are selfish, downright selfish indeed. We care only for ourselves. We want the best for ourselves and think nothing of destroying the next fellow. We care only about how our actions will affect ourselves and nothing of the rippled effects. The worse is when we did have an inkling of our actions but we still proceed and justify the actions with self-gratifying reasons.
The longer I dwelled in the working society, the more disillusioned I get. Its such a filthy world! Such selfishness and such disgusting creatures are we humans. How sad.
Everywhere you looked, there are distrust, dishonesty, selfishness and fakeness. It all boils down to the fact that we know ourselves too well, we know how we are like and what we are like. In essence, we know how selfish humans are.
What a shame.
Because although I am really disillusioned and disappointed, I still hold firmly to the belief that all humans are made perfect and are still perfect. Its just a matter of whether they take the effort to eliminate the layer of filth existing on the surface of our world and the dive deeper into the underlying. Then perhaps we shall not be so suspicious.
Then perhaps our world would be a more tolerable, less filthy and more happy place.
Then perhaps we shall not be so lonely.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
There's gotta be more
I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go
There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure
there's gotta be more
Than wanting more
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing
Than waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go
There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure
there's gotta be more
Than wanting more
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing
Than waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....
Perfect world
"In a woman's world,
boyfriends would be tailored-made,
heels wouldn't hurt,
husbands would give birth,
diamonds would grow on trees,
And...."
I like this Peugeot ad, my perfect kind of world...!
boyfriends would be tailored-made,
heels wouldn't hurt,
husbands would give birth,
diamonds would grow on trees,
And...."
I like this Peugeot ad, my perfect kind of world...!
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Human mynahs
Have you ever noticed how a common mynah walks?
I was sitting on the bench of the train station this morning when I noticed a common mynah strolling on the platform of the train station, where passengers wait for their trains. The little fellow was walking around feeling all important, as if it owned the train station. With each step, the head would protrude out, in tune with its steps. I don know about you readers here but somehow I just got the feeling that it was feeling all important, too much confidence and perhaps a little arrogant.
Then again, its just a an animal, with limited intelligence and so perhaps I should not be so harsh in my comments towards it. Cos it does not know better.
People, on the other hand, are another thing altogether.
Do those people who are too confident to to point of being arrogant gets into you? People whom you know who have limited knowledge and yet feel very confident cos they think they know it all? People who place themselves on a high altar cos they believe their value system is more superior than others?
Again, I don know about you but I find these people really pathetic and laughable. Pathetic cos they are like the toad in a well, limited in their vision and yet think that they have seen the whole sky. Their vision and mentality are limited by their own views and arrogance. Laughable cos they are not able to realize that others are actually laughing at their inability to realize that they are the laughing stock of others.
The most pathetic of them all is that others do not bother to correct these human mynahs cos as the saying goes, never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
Besides fools drag you to their level.
So why bother?
I was sitting on the bench of the train station this morning when I noticed a common mynah strolling on the platform of the train station, where passengers wait for their trains. The little fellow was walking around feeling all important, as if it owned the train station. With each step, the head would protrude out, in tune with its steps. I don know about you readers here but somehow I just got the feeling that it was feeling all important, too much confidence and perhaps a little arrogant.
Then again, its just a an animal, with limited intelligence and so perhaps I should not be so harsh in my comments towards it. Cos it does not know better.
People, on the other hand, are another thing altogether.
Do those people who are too confident to to point of being arrogant gets into you? People whom you know who have limited knowledge and yet feel very confident cos they think they know it all? People who place themselves on a high altar cos they believe their value system is more superior than others?
Again, I don know about you but I find these people really pathetic and laughable. Pathetic cos they are like the toad in a well, limited in their vision and yet think that they have seen the whole sky. Their vision and mentality are limited by their own views and arrogance. Laughable cos they are not able to realize that others are actually laughing at their inability to realize that they are the laughing stock of others.
The most pathetic of them all is that others do not bother to correct these human mynahs cos as the saying goes, never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
Besides fools drag you to their level.
So why bother?
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
I need to rant.. Again..
Ok, I can't take this anymore. I really need to rant.
Why the hell are you so dumb?! Knowingly allow him to take advantage of you and your emotions?! You know he is already involved and yet you still went along with him? Worse still, hes married and already had a girlfriend somemore!
Sigh, my dear friend, whatever were you thinking..
Men only got one thing in mind, whatever it is, you are smart enough to figure it out.
First, they bed you.
Then they said it was a mistake and they don want to get involved and would prefer you to be their friend.
And then they still continue bedding you.
Now that is speaking from experience.
If you want to play, then make damn fucking sure that you be the one to hurt others and not the ones to get hurt. If you cannot buried your feelings deep into the ocean, then make damn sure that you don even be a player.
Its either you get hurt or you hurt others. Period. There are no two ways about it.
Sometimes I really wish that we were born in ancient times as Amazon womens. Then we play the men and not the other way round.
I rather dance with fishes in the sea than to dance with men in bed.
I hope the jerk who did that to you get some strange VD and his cock drop off dead in front of his eyes while he was in the middle of an orgasm. I hope he rots in hell.
Why the hell are you so dumb?! Knowingly allow him to take advantage of you and your emotions?! You know he is already involved and yet you still went along with him? Worse still, hes married and already had a girlfriend somemore!
Sigh, my dear friend, whatever were you thinking..
Men only got one thing in mind, whatever it is, you are smart enough to figure it out.
First, they bed you.
Then they said it was a mistake and they don want to get involved and would prefer you to be their friend.
And then they still continue bedding you.
Now that is speaking from experience.
If you want to play, then make damn fucking sure that you be the one to hurt others and not the ones to get hurt. If you cannot buried your feelings deep into the ocean, then make damn sure that you don even be a player.
Its either you get hurt or you hurt others. Period. There are no two ways about it.
Sometimes I really wish that we were born in ancient times as Amazon womens. Then we play the men and not the other way round.
I rather dance with fishes in the sea than to dance with men in bed.
I hope the jerk who did that to you get some strange VD and his cock drop off dead in front of his eyes while he was in the middle of an orgasm. I hope he rots in hell.
I rather dance with fishes
A few things tonight:
1) I am pretty miffed at the moment about some stupid childish idiotic stuff that I should not even have dwelled into.
2) I am pretty fucked up right now about the way a close friend was treated by a guy. I am in the mood for some male bashing right now but I should control. Control, control, control.. I should control. My temper is always getting way ahead of me.
4) I might be getting another tattoo probably over the weekend, depending on whether I can withstand the pain cos my skin is very raw at the moment. Most likely the new tattoo shall be on my shoulder blade. I think I am getting into the habit of getting tattoos whenever I am feeling vexed or fucked up.
5) I am diving again in July. I think I have fallen in love with diving. Perhaps in future, I might just invest in a set of gears. Cons, you better not fly kite on me. Ching, or any of you guys who want to join me, just leave a note here or let me know.
6) I am still pretty much toasted.
7) I am losing my appetite for some reason. I don think I have had a decent meal for the day. Lets see, I only had 3 buns, 5 biscuits and a couple of drinks. Good, the way I like it.
8) I am in the mood for some super loud music.
9) I just said this in the morning in a conversation with a dear friend : "Its better to be dancing in the sea with fishes than dancing in bed with men." Which I think pretty much hit the bulls' eyes for me at the moment. Pun intended if you know what my horoscope is.
10) Another thing I said sometime back: "Men only have 1 thing in mind." Whatever the 1 thing is, you go figure out.
Lastly, as you can pretty much tell from my tone and my words here, I am rather worked up and pissed at the moment.
1) I am pretty miffed at the moment about some stupid childish idiotic stuff that I should not even have dwelled into.
2) I am pretty fucked up right now about the way a close friend was treated by a guy. I am in the mood for some male bashing right now but I should control. Control, control, control.. I should control. My temper is always getting way ahead of me.
4) I might be getting another tattoo probably over the weekend, depending on whether I can withstand the pain cos my skin is very raw at the moment. Most likely the new tattoo shall be on my shoulder blade. I think I am getting into the habit of getting tattoos whenever I am feeling vexed or fucked up.
5) I am diving again in July. I think I have fallen in love with diving. Perhaps in future, I might just invest in a set of gears. Cons, you better not fly kite on me. Ching, or any of you guys who want to join me, just leave a note here or let me know.
6) I am still pretty much toasted.
7) I am losing my appetite for some reason. I don think I have had a decent meal for the day. Lets see, I only had 3 buns, 5 biscuits and a couple of drinks. Good, the way I like it.
8) I am in the mood for some super loud music.
9) I just said this in the morning in a conversation with a dear friend : "Its better to be dancing in the sea with fishes than dancing in bed with men." Which I think pretty much hit the bulls' eyes for me at the moment. Pun intended if you know what my horoscope is.
10) Another thing I said sometime back: "Men only have 1 thing in mind." Whatever the 1 thing is, you go figure out.
Lastly, as you can pretty much tell from my tone and my words here, I am rather worked up and pissed at the moment.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Cooked, roasted, toasted
I never know the true meaning of sunburnt until now. Its so goddamn painful..
My back has a very red and distinct imprint of my swimsuit. The skin that was not covered up and exposed directly to the sun is at the moment very red and angry looking. It feels painful even to touch it. The skin is so sensitive that all sensations seem to be magnified and its painful all the time.
My knees that were covered by the wet suit and were exposed to the sun are all red and other than the pain, its like its numb and dead. I can only feel the sharp tingling sensation on my skin.
My bones hurt, I now know that other than the skin, the sun can cause your muscle and bones to ache. I am feeling feverish all the time and I have this muscle ache that one only gets when you are having a fever, or when a certain part of your body got cut. My limps are weak and I cannot exert much strength. I cannot cross my legs cos my thighs are sunburnt too and I cannot press hard on them.
Under the yellow lights in my dining room, my hands look like its all bright red.
My mum said I looked cooked and I said, "No, I AM cooked, over cooked in fact.."
*Moaning in pain*
My back has a very red and distinct imprint of my swimsuit. The skin that was not covered up and exposed directly to the sun is at the moment very red and angry looking. It feels painful even to touch it. The skin is so sensitive that all sensations seem to be magnified and its painful all the time.
My knees that were covered by the wet suit and were exposed to the sun are all red and other than the pain, its like its numb and dead. I can only feel the sharp tingling sensation on my skin.
My bones hurt, I now know that other than the skin, the sun can cause your muscle and bones to ache. I am feeling feverish all the time and I have this muscle ache that one only gets when you are having a fever, or when a certain part of your body got cut. My limps are weak and I cannot exert much strength. I cannot cross my legs cos my thighs are sunburnt too and I cannot press hard on them.
Under the yellow lights in my dining room, my hands look like its all bright red.
My mum said I looked cooked and I said, "No, I AM cooked, over cooked in fact.."
*Moaning in pain*
What would you do?
1) if you see the ones in power hurting the ones who have none?
2) if you had a child from a rape?
3) if you had to choose between survival and loyalty?
4) if you fell in love with a man who beats you constantly?
5) if you had to choose between your reputation and your son's reputation?
6) if you had a very bad sunburnt all over your body and its hurting like hell?
2) if you had a child from a rape?
3) if you had to choose between survival and loyalty?
4) if you fell in love with a man who beats you constantly?
5) if you had to choose between your reputation and your son's reputation?
6) if you had a very bad sunburnt all over your body and its hurting like hell?
Dayang trip 02/06/06 to 04/06/06
"You survived your first diving trip!" Mr D said the moment I on my Adium last night at 130am..
Yup, that I did. I was at Dayang from Fri night to Sun noon, diving. The journey was enough to bore me but the dives compensated for the boredom on the journey there.
Ka jiao lots of corals and the residents that lived in them, saw lots of sea cucumbers and colourful sea slugs, met many fishes on their way to schools, saw a couple of large long fish, forgot the name for them and lastly, who can forget the few jellyfishes that I bumped into on my ascents and also while I was snorkelling. Freaked me out I tell ya.. These pinkish, spineless, membrane looking creatures just seemed to appear when you least expected them. Underwater, you can see the length of their tentacles and up on the boat, you can see their pinkish mushroom heads bobbing. But on the surface of the water, you will not be able to see them unless you put your head underwater to look around, or until you bumped into them. Weird but beautiful looking creatures, although I never want to have any dealings with them..
And of course, the really bad sunburnt that I am having at the moment and the few scraps and bumps that I got for kneeling the corals and seabeds.. Ouch.. On my sunburnt area somemore...
I am definitely going diving again, although I had to retake my theory and had to go back and retake. Damn..
Some lousy quality pictures that I took of the surroundings.. Will post the better looking ones after my colleagues send to me..
Enjoy!
Yup, that I did. I was at Dayang from Fri night to Sun noon, diving. The journey was enough to bore me but the dives compensated for the boredom on the journey there.
Ka jiao lots of corals and the residents that lived in them, saw lots of sea cucumbers and colourful sea slugs, met many fishes on their way to schools, saw a couple of large long fish, forgot the name for them and lastly, who can forget the few jellyfishes that I bumped into on my ascents and also while I was snorkelling. Freaked me out I tell ya.. These pinkish, spineless, membrane looking creatures just seemed to appear when you least expected them. Underwater, you can see the length of their tentacles and up on the boat, you can see their pinkish mushroom heads bobbing. But on the surface of the water, you will not be able to see them unless you put your head underwater to look around, or until you bumped into them. Weird but beautiful looking creatures, although I never want to have any dealings with them..
And of course, the really bad sunburnt that I am having at the moment and the few scraps and bumps that I got for kneeling the corals and seabeds.. Ouch.. On my sunburnt area somemore...
I am definitely going diving again, although I had to retake my theory and had to go back and retake. Damn..
Some lousy quality pictures that I took of the surroundings.. Will post the better looking ones after my colleagues send to me..
Enjoy!
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