有一只鸟孤单的在天上
今天天气不怎样
想飞也飞不出那个网
他仍努力的摆动翅膀
今天天又亮
整夜的苦想
我还相信她应该不会是那样
旧日的份量
恩爱的模样
我好像已经没有资格再勉强
啊哈~
就让她去吧不要再委屈
只愿你会记得我
有个傻瓜爱过你
啊哈~
我把我的难过留给我自己
美丽的相聚
还是想说谢谢你
有一只鸟孤单的在飞翔
今天天气不晴朗
想飞也飞不出你的网
他仍努力的摆动翅膀
迎面风凄凄
望着门关闭
一双想你的眼睛不堪沙粒
你会去哪里
何时才回家
我好象已经没有资格再问你
啊哈~
就让她去吧不要再委屈
只愿你会记得我
有个傻瓜爱过你
啊哈~
我把我的难过留给我自己
美丽的相聚
还是想说谢谢你
只愿你会记得我
有个傻瓜爱过你
啊哈~
我把我的难过留给我自己
美丽的相聚
还是想说谢谢你
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Gone
The ride has been exciting and fulfilling. Its time I stop though.
I am going away for a while, I will stop this blog for now.
Perhaps I will be back or perhaps I will not.
Thank to all who commented on the stuff that I wrote.
Iris
I am going away for a while, I will stop this blog for now.
Perhaps I will be back or perhaps I will not.
Thank to all who commented on the stuff that I wrote.
Iris
Chiong ah!
Birthday, it comes and goes..
And mine last night was the most memorable... *sweat*
My colleagues gave me a surprise and a bouquet of flowers. 3 stalks of white roses with pink outlines on the petals. Very sweet and cool. And my birthday cake was Swenson ice-cream cake! My favourite cake in the whole world perhaps! Yummy!
I was really busy yesterday. Suddenly, it seems like I got a number of out of the ordinary clearances to do. So I was busy and rushing for datelines the whole day. Suddenly, June called me. Said something about a customer wanting to meet me. Puzzled, cos I never made any appointments with any customers and so I went to look for her.
Imagined my shock and pleasant surprise when I entered the showroom and saw the whole bunch of them singing the birthday song to me! Hah! I was really caught by surprise and I think that was my first surprise in my entire life! Woohoo! The 2nd surprise came when they asked me to go take picture in a new car and lo and behold, there was a nice bouquet of flowers there waiting for me! How delightful..!
And my birthday celebration was still not done yet.. This time it was the scaary part...
As usual, we went to a pub to drink. Not that I like to drink but since everyone was in a happy and cheery mood, I figured just go along. Besides they like to drink and since they celebrated my birthday for me, I just wanted them to enjoy yourselves too.
Initially, everything was fine until Adrian came. That man is really no joke. Hes scary when it comes to such partying! For the whole night, he kept asking me to drink and drink and more drinking! And even made me dance on stage! Kaoz! Luckily, I was too high to even think clearly.
Then it was more drinking. That was the first time I got to drink something which burned my throat and I did not even know what was that. I even got to drink the famous Lamborghini and never have my face been in so close proximity with fire! Cool!
I was already drunk by that time and I had already puked myself silly in the toilet. I figured, thats it, I had to stop. So in my drunken state, I was determined to turn the tide and made Adrian drink instead.
And so I did something which I would have never done.
"If I kiss Adrian, would you guys spare me from drinking?" I boldly suggested.
"Sure! Must be tongue-to-tongue one!" These people were out for blood.
In the end, we played along and so I plastered my mouth on his and we did it! That was so crazy! Hahaha! It was sweet revenge to see Adrian squirming though...!
In the end, I hopped onto a cab alone and reached home. Even managed to remove my makeup and shower before plonking on the bed and got dead. Had a bloody hungover this morning and my gastric was so acid-ed that it hurts. Head was spinning and was still retching this morning.
Now my head is still throbbing and my gastric, though does not hurts anymore is still a little sore....
And mine last night was the most memorable... *sweat*
My colleagues gave me a surprise and a bouquet of flowers. 3 stalks of white roses with pink outlines on the petals. Very sweet and cool. And my birthday cake was Swenson ice-cream cake! My favourite cake in the whole world perhaps! Yummy!
I was really busy yesterday. Suddenly, it seems like I got a number of out of the ordinary clearances to do. So I was busy and rushing for datelines the whole day. Suddenly, June called me. Said something about a customer wanting to meet me. Puzzled, cos I never made any appointments with any customers and so I went to look for her.
Imagined my shock and pleasant surprise when I entered the showroom and saw the whole bunch of them singing the birthday song to me! Hah! I was really caught by surprise and I think that was my first surprise in my entire life! Woohoo! The 2nd surprise came when they asked me to go take picture in a new car and lo and behold, there was a nice bouquet of flowers there waiting for me! How delightful..!
And my birthday celebration was still not done yet.. This time it was the scaary part...
As usual, we went to a pub to drink. Not that I like to drink but since everyone was in a happy and cheery mood, I figured just go along. Besides they like to drink and since they celebrated my birthday for me, I just wanted them to enjoy yourselves too.
Initially, everything was fine until Adrian came. That man is really no joke. Hes scary when it comes to such partying! For the whole night, he kept asking me to drink and drink and more drinking! And even made me dance on stage! Kaoz! Luckily, I was too high to even think clearly.
Then it was more drinking. That was the first time I got to drink something which burned my throat and I did not even know what was that. I even got to drink the famous Lamborghini and never have my face been in so close proximity with fire! Cool!
I was already drunk by that time and I had already puked myself silly in the toilet. I figured, thats it, I had to stop. So in my drunken state, I was determined to turn the tide and made Adrian drink instead.
And so I did something which I would have never done.
"If I kiss Adrian, would you guys spare me from drinking?" I boldly suggested.
"Sure! Must be tongue-to-tongue one!" These people were out for blood.
In the end, we played along and so I plastered my mouth on his and we did it! That was so crazy! Hahaha! It was sweet revenge to see Adrian squirming though...!
In the end, I hopped onto a cab alone and reached home. Even managed to remove my makeup and shower before plonking on the bed and got dead. Had a bloody hungover this morning and my gastric was so acid-ed that it hurts. Head was spinning and was still retching this morning.
Now my head is still throbbing and my gastric, though does not hurts anymore is still a little sore....
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Spoilt us
The thing that struck me the most while I was travelling back home tonight was that our road looked so clean, orderly and the traffic so smooth flowing. The buildings are all so organized and smart. The cars on the road were so modern up-to-date. The air is clean and not sooty, even though the traffic was heavy.
The whole scenario is a total contrast from what is happening in our neighbouring states.
There are pollution everywhere, cars are travelling in every direction. The streets are lined with litters and beggars and peddlers everywhere. The buildings are so disorganized and there does not seem to be much urban planning, which resulted in strange buildings sprouting from inappropriate places. The cars on the road, most of them, are so old, some suitable to be sent to the scrapyard. Its tiring even looking at these roads and travelling on them is twice as much exhausting too.
Take note that I am not complaining about our neighbouring states here. I am just contrasting the difference between our neighbours and us.
Now lets talk about the people.
We, on this little island are always going across the borders, looking for cheap deals to save money or perhaps a quick getaway for the long weekend. Just take a look across the causeway on a weekend and you would see how many Singaporean cars there are. Travelling in both directions. The Singaporean cars are so different from the local cars. Our cars are all newer and much well-taken care of. We also do not produce much soot and pollution cos of the regulations in Singapore.
My point is, we Singaporeans are so much better off in terms of quality of life than our north or south neighbours. Our government is actually doing a bloody good job in urban planning and managing the country. Perhaps so good that we are too reliant on our government. Resulting in some very spoilt Singaporeans. We complain, lament and curse our government of being too nanny-liked but think about this. If our government is not like that, then do you think if we can enjoy such a safe, clean and organized place to live?
Sometimes I really think we Singaporeans should just start to think for and think about others instead of just thinking about ourselves for once. Perhaps that would open our world to things outside our safety zone. Closing yourself up and restricting yourself to a safety zone will only allow you to experience whats within the zone. Its only when you take a step outside that will allow you to open your eyes and grow up and learn.
We are just too protected.
The whole scenario is a total contrast from what is happening in our neighbouring states.
There are pollution everywhere, cars are travelling in every direction. The streets are lined with litters and beggars and peddlers everywhere. The buildings are so disorganized and there does not seem to be much urban planning, which resulted in strange buildings sprouting from inappropriate places. The cars on the road, most of them, are so old, some suitable to be sent to the scrapyard. Its tiring even looking at these roads and travelling on them is twice as much exhausting too.
Take note that I am not complaining about our neighbouring states here. I am just contrasting the difference between our neighbours and us.
Now lets talk about the people.
We, on this little island are always going across the borders, looking for cheap deals to save money or perhaps a quick getaway for the long weekend. Just take a look across the causeway on a weekend and you would see how many Singaporean cars there are. Travelling in both directions. The Singaporean cars are so different from the local cars. Our cars are all newer and much well-taken care of. We also do not produce much soot and pollution cos of the regulations in Singapore.
My point is, we Singaporeans are so much better off in terms of quality of life than our north or south neighbours. Our government is actually doing a bloody good job in urban planning and managing the country. Perhaps so good that we are too reliant on our government. Resulting in some very spoilt Singaporeans. We complain, lament and curse our government of being too nanny-liked but think about this. If our government is not like that, then do you think if we can enjoy such a safe, clean and organized place to live?
Sometimes I really think we Singaporeans should just start to think for and think about others instead of just thinking about ourselves for once. Perhaps that would open our world to things outside our safety zone. Closing yourself up and restricting yourself to a safety zone will only allow you to experience whats within the zone. Its only when you take a step outside that will allow you to open your eyes and grow up and learn.
We are just too protected.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Eight Below
Its funny how after I posted a ranting entry on here that I really disliked Ozzie's stench and I went to watch an insipiring show about dogs, specifically Huskies. And got all teary and inspired by the show.
Eight Below is about an Antartical guide who had 8 huskies. They were his family and he treated them like his kids instead of his pets. They survived together in the "bottom of the World". The dogs loved him and he was part of their pack. A "storm of the century" and an accident related to his customer forced the guide to evacuate and the dogs were all left behind to accomodate the humans and the equipments in the plane. The dogs were left behind in that godforsaken piece of land for almost 6 months, with no food, no shelter and with a storm on their heels, or hinds. As a pack, they took care of each other, fought for each other and played together. 2 died in the end, leaving 6 of them. The guide was faced with a lot of difficulties in getting back to them to bring them back but he did manage to bring them back ultimately.
My colleagues were all teary after the show. Its a feel-good-happy-ending kind of show. Its from Walt Disney, so what were you expecting! Heh!
Anyway, its a good watch. Go watch it if you have not. And it certainly make me ashamed about the way I am treating Ozzie. I should really play with that girl more and feed her more of her treats.
Then again, her mummy is such a bitch that I hated to give in to her.....
Eight Below is about an Antartical guide who had 8 huskies. They were his family and he treated them like his kids instead of his pets. They survived together in the "bottom of the World". The dogs loved him and he was part of their pack. A "storm of the century" and an accident related to his customer forced the guide to evacuate and the dogs were all left behind to accomodate the humans and the equipments in the plane. The dogs were left behind in that godforsaken piece of land for almost 6 months, with no food, no shelter and with a storm on their heels, or hinds. As a pack, they took care of each other, fought for each other and played together. 2 died in the end, leaving 6 of them. The guide was faced with a lot of difficulties in getting back to them to bring them back but he did manage to bring them back ultimately.
My colleagues were all teary after the show. Its a feel-good-happy-ending kind of show. Its from Walt Disney, so what were you expecting! Heh!
Anyway, its a good watch. Go watch it if you have not. And it certainly make me ashamed about the way I am treating Ozzie. I should really play with that girl more and feed her more of her treats.
Then again, her mummy is such a bitch that I hated to give in to her.....
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Happy advance birthday to me.
Another year has passed since the day I wrote that memorable post in my blog and sparked off a string of events that affected my life so drastically for the past 2 years.
My birthday is coming and every day on this memorable day, I will get moody. Perhapts its the fact that I am not really sure how to spend it or perhaps I am not very good at planning what I should be doing till my next birthday. Birthdays are such a pain in the ass. Especially when you are getting old.
Actually if you ask me, birthdays are best spent contemplating how you can express your gratitudes to your parents, for they are the ones who brought you into this world, no matter how depressing this world is. In fact, when I used to attend Dharma classes, we were actually told that we should be spending our birthdays with our parents. And yes, I used to attend Dharma classes; was even "promoted" to be a teacher then but gave up teaching the kids when I could not control them. Dumb right?
Anyway as I was saying, birthdays, a time to lament the passing of another year of your life silently, and perhaps pathetically, like my case. Silently cos I have no idea who I should be spending my birthday with. Pathetically cos another year has passed since i was born and yet I have not accomplished anything that I promised myself. Things like doing something great out of my life, things like telling my parents how much I love them, things like improving the relationship between me and my bro, things like pursuing a good career, things like owning a house of my own, or even little things like owning a license. Perhaps even things like going on a long vacation to a far away country where no one knows me.
If you asked me, birthdays are not actually a time for celebration. It should be a time for mourning. The main reason being that you are now one year nearer to your impeding death so why should you even be celebrating it in the first place. Besides, who are you in the first place? Why should there be any celebration for your birthday when you are nobody, not someone who is great enough to justify any celebration on your birthday. Only great people are worthy enough of any celebration on their birthdays, people who have done something great for humanity and people who contributed to the community or the society. Certainly not people like me. I am just nothing, not even worth mentioning to anyone.
I am dreading the day when I am on my death bed, old, lonely and frail. And forgotten. And still wondering how on earth I ended up like that. And my birthdays every year are like a constant reminder that such a day is getting nearer and nearer, and I cannot find an escape for it. I am like caught up in a tangle of barb wires, pulled tighter and tighter into the mess each time I try to escape. There is no escape and my birthdays are always reminding me about it.
My birthday is coming and every day on this memorable day, I will get moody. Perhapts its the fact that I am not really sure how to spend it or perhaps I am not very good at planning what I should be doing till my next birthday. Birthdays are such a pain in the ass. Especially when you are getting old.
Actually if you ask me, birthdays are best spent contemplating how you can express your gratitudes to your parents, for they are the ones who brought you into this world, no matter how depressing this world is. In fact, when I used to attend Dharma classes, we were actually told that we should be spending our birthdays with our parents. And yes, I used to attend Dharma classes; was even "promoted" to be a teacher then but gave up teaching the kids when I could not control them. Dumb right?
Anyway as I was saying, birthdays, a time to lament the passing of another year of your life silently, and perhaps pathetically, like my case. Silently cos I have no idea who I should be spending my birthday with. Pathetically cos another year has passed since i was born and yet I have not accomplished anything that I promised myself. Things like doing something great out of my life, things like telling my parents how much I love them, things like improving the relationship between me and my bro, things like pursuing a good career, things like owning a house of my own, or even little things like owning a license. Perhaps even things like going on a long vacation to a far away country where no one knows me.
If you asked me, birthdays are not actually a time for celebration. It should be a time for mourning. The main reason being that you are now one year nearer to your impeding death so why should you even be celebrating it in the first place. Besides, who are you in the first place? Why should there be any celebration for your birthday when you are nobody, not someone who is great enough to justify any celebration on your birthday. Only great people are worthy enough of any celebration on their birthdays, people who have done something great for humanity and people who contributed to the community or the society. Certainly not people like me. I am just nothing, not even worth mentioning to anyone.
I am dreading the day when I am on my death bed, old, lonely and frail. And forgotten. And still wondering how on earth I ended up like that. And my birthdays every year are like a constant reminder that such a day is getting nearer and nearer, and I cannot find an escape for it. I am like caught up in a tangle of barb wires, pulled tighter and tighter into the mess each time I try to escape. There is no escape and my birthdays are always reminding me about it.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Selfish bitch
I can never understand how some people can be so bloody downright selfish. I actually lived with one of such assholes.
My sis (henceforth known as the bitch). The usual pain in my big fat ass.
Ozzie. The way she is treating us, her family and the way she is using Ozzie to irritate us is gonna make us hate and dislike Ozzie more. I am really starting to hate that dog. And its all her fault.
For some stupid unknown reason, Ozzie likes to jump onto my bed, perhaps its more comfortable than her own beddings. And I hated it. She stinks, and I hate her stench.
That bitch happens to think that its funny to piss me off when Ozzie is on my bed. She actually purposely ask Ozzie to jump onto my bed when I am around. How fucking dumb is that?! She actually thinks its funny and comical to see me fuming whenever I see Ozzie on my bed. My mum actually told me that the bitch actually cuddled up with Ozzie on my bed when I was not around. Fucking asshole.
Next, I am always complaining that Ozzie stinks. Its the nature of dogs, all dogs stink but Ozzie's stench is particularly bad cos of her bad breathe. I am always complaining to the bitch and yet she said its all in my mind since I am biased against Ozzie.
Hello?! Come on lah! She think I am so free as to do that!? I can't even be bothered to talk to her, much less than do these kind of silly things! And I am definitely not biased against Ozzie cos my parents also complained that Ozzie stink.
The thing is, the mere act of buying Ozzie is already very selfish. She bought a dog into the house which happens to be our house too and yet she did not talk to us, to ask for our opinions. Then she expect us to treat Ozzie nicely and even help her clean up Ozzie's poo and feed her. How selfish can anyone get? This is our house too, we live here and we should be asked first before you bring another member into the family too! Thats the most logical thing to do! And not only that, she expects my mum to clean up Ozzie and to feed her too. My mum is already dead tired from working and that bitch wanted Mum to help her with that?! I am certainly not going to help her with that! I never like pets anyway..!
Well, maybe cats, I love cats. But thats another story.
The point is, she bought another member into the family, force us to like it, and yet is always doing some stupid antics to get us irritated just for the heck of it.
My patience has a limit. The next time she lets Ozzie jump onto my bed, I am going to kick her down. I don bloody care if its a dog or its a doll. I am fed up.
I think I need some liang teh, my temper these days have been soaring. I am certainly not in a very good mood these days....
My sis (henceforth known as the bitch). The usual pain in my big fat ass.
Ozzie. The way she is treating us, her family and the way she is using Ozzie to irritate us is gonna make us hate and dislike Ozzie more. I am really starting to hate that dog. And its all her fault.
For some stupid unknown reason, Ozzie likes to jump onto my bed, perhaps its more comfortable than her own beddings. And I hated it. She stinks, and I hate her stench.
That bitch happens to think that its funny to piss me off when Ozzie is on my bed. She actually purposely ask Ozzie to jump onto my bed when I am around. How fucking dumb is that?! She actually thinks its funny and comical to see me fuming whenever I see Ozzie on my bed. My mum actually told me that the bitch actually cuddled up with Ozzie on my bed when I was not around. Fucking asshole.
Next, I am always complaining that Ozzie stinks. Its the nature of dogs, all dogs stink but Ozzie's stench is particularly bad cos of her bad breathe. I am always complaining to the bitch and yet she said its all in my mind since I am biased against Ozzie.
Hello?! Come on lah! She think I am so free as to do that!? I can't even be bothered to talk to her, much less than do these kind of silly things! And I am definitely not biased against Ozzie cos my parents also complained that Ozzie stink.
The thing is, the mere act of buying Ozzie is already very selfish. She bought a dog into the house which happens to be our house too and yet she did not talk to us, to ask for our opinions. Then she expect us to treat Ozzie nicely and even help her clean up Ozzie's poo and feed her. How selfish can anyone get? This is our house too, we live here and we should be asked first before you bring another member into the family too! Thats the most logical thing to do! And not only that, she expects my mum to clean up Ozzie and to feed her too. My mum is already dead tired from working and that bitch wanted Mum to help her with that?! I am certainly not going to help her with that! I never like pets anyway..!
Well, maybe cats, I love cats. But thats another story.
The point is, she bought another member into the family, force us to like it, and yet is always doing some stupid antics to get us irritated just for the heck of it.
My patience has a limit. The next time she lets Ozzie jump onto my bed, I am going to kick her down. I don bloody care if its a dog or its a doll. I am fed up.
I think I need some liang teh, my temper these days have been soaring. I am certainly not in a very good mood these days....
Monday, April 10, 2006
Impacted earhole.
"Your ear is impacted." Doc said.
I was like "Wah Kaoz! What the hell do you mean!? It such sound serious!"
"Actually its just a case of too much ear wax in the ear. Usually people's ear wax are yellowish in colour while yours is black and hard. God knows how long its been there already! You gotta continue dripping the solution to soften the chunk, to make it soft enough before we can use syringes to flush out the whole thing with water."
Argh. Why on earth did this kind of thing ever happened to me! Goddamn it!
Last Thursday, I went to see a doc for my fever and my blocked ear. Just a couple of days earlier, I had just seen a doc for my skin condition and gastric problem. I had another gastric attack a week earlier and I am having some kind of stupid fungi infection on my skin. Fuck it all. Why do all these come together at once?! First, skin, then gastric, then fever and now a bloody fucking blocked ear!
"So when will my ear be cleared cos its making me really uncomfortable and sometimes it hurt. I can't hear clearly and the blockage is screwing up my balance. And it hurts a little sometimes especially when the pressure is heavier. Its irritating."
"Depends. Normally it will take about 2-3 weeks. You gotta increase the frequency of the dripping of solution otherwise we cannot flush out the wax without hurting your eardrum cos the hard wax will just push into the eardrum and straining it instead."
GREAT! JUST GODDAMN FUCKING GREAT!
Now I can't hear clearly for 2-3 goddamn bloody fucking weeks!
Since the day I got my salary this month, I had already spent like $300 plus on doctor's fee. Everytime I took my medicines, my colleagues were like "Woah Iris! Why you taking so much medicines?"
And now, its my ears! What next? My eyes? Or perhaps my tits?!
Fuck lah...
I was like "Wah Kaoz! What the hell do you mean!? It such sound serious!"
"Actually its just a case of too much ear wax in the ear. Usually people's ear wax are yellowish in colour while yours is black and hard. God knows how long its been there already! You gotta continue dripping the solution to soften the chunk, to make it soft enough before we can use syringes to flush out the whole thing with water."
Argh. Why on earth did this kind of thing ever happened to me! Goddamn it!
Last Thursday, I went to see a doc for my fever and my blocked ear. Just a couple of days earlier, I had just seen a doc for my skin condition and gastric problem. I had another gastric attack a week earlier and I am having some kind of stupid fungi infection on my skin. Fuck it all. Why do all these come together at once?! First, skin, then gastric, then fever and now a bloody fucking blocked ear!
"So when will my ear be cleared cos its making me really uncomfortable and sometimes it hurt. I can't hear clearly and the blockage is screwing up my balance. And it hurts a little sometimes especially when the pressure is heavier. Its irritating."
"Depends. Normally it will take about 2-3 weeks. You gotta increase the frequency of the dripping of solution otherwise we cannot flush out the wax without hurting your eardrum cos the hard wax will just push into the eardrum and straining it instead."
GREAT! JUST GODDAMN FUCKING GREAT!
Now I can't hear clearly for 2-3 goddamn bloody fucking weeks!
Since the day I got my salary this month, I had already spent like $300 plus on doctor's fee. Everytime I took my medicines, my colleagues were like "Woah Iris! Why you taking so much medicines?"
And now, its my ears! What next? My eyes? Or perhaps my tits?!
Fuck lah...
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Weird scenes
I was just re-watching the previous episode of CSI: New York when I noticed something really weird in one of the scenes.
In the below scene, Mack was standing in front of an exhibit looking at the place where a body of a woman was found dead. Behind him, underneath the first bench, I noticed something moving there. There seem to be a child in orange shirt moving beneath the bench. There was not supposed to be anything nor anyone there at all. The whole place was supposed to be empty, even in the story itself.
And then the next moment, Mack heard something and turned around. As the story went, he heard someone in the other room and ran towards the direction wanting to figure out what was it. As he turned, you can clearly see the bench and there was no one or anything underneath it.
Now, you tell me if its a blooper or its something which only I noticed??
Logically, I was spooked by the scenes.
In the below scene, Mack was standing in front of an exhibit looking at the place where a body of a woman was found dead. Behind him, underneath the first bench, I noticed something moving there. There seem to be a child in orange shirt moving beneath the bench. There was not supposed to be anything nor anyone there at all. The whole place was supposed to be empty, even in the story itself.
And then the next moment, Mack heard something and turned around. As the story went, he heard someone in the other room and ran towards the direction wanting to figure out what was it. As he turned, you can clearly see the bench and there was no one or anything underneath it.
Now, you tell me if its a blooper or its something which only I noticed??
Logically, I was spooked by the scenes.
夜曲
一群嗜血的蚂蚁被腐肉所吸引
我面无表情看孤独的风景
失去你爱开始分明
失去你还有什么事好关心
那鸽子不再象征和平
我终于被提醒捆着手我现在是奴隶
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
我应该藏这里夜色不干净
还给你整夜的回忆占满天的星
送你的白色玫瑰在纯黑的花季凋零
午夜在树枝上诡异的很安静
倾听我黑色的大衣像我的你
衣栉比鳞的鬼走过的走过的生命
啊四周弥漫雾气
啊我在空旷的墓地
老去后还爱你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲钢琴
我给的思念太小心
你埋葬的地方就有你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
那些断翅的蜻蜓散落在这森林
而我的眼睛没有丝毫同情
失去你泪水混浊无情
失去你我连笑容都有阴影
我站在满心期待的屋顶
嘲笑我的伤心
像一口没有水的枯井
我用尽我的自信
要我后悔莫急等待爱情
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲钢琴
我给的思念太小心
你埋葬的地方就有你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
一群嗜血的蚂蚁被腐肉所吸引
我面无表情看孤独的风景
失去你爱开始分明
失去你还有什么事好关心
那鸽子不再象征和平
我终于被提醒捆着手我现在是奴隶
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
我面无表情看孤独的风景
失去你爱开始分明
失去你还有什么事好关心
那鸽子不再象征和平
我终于被提醒捆着手我现在是奴隶
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
我应该藏这里夜色不干净
还给你整夜的回忆占满天的星
送你的白色玫瑰在纯黑的花季凋零
午夜在树枝上诡异的很安静
倾听我黑色的大衣像我的你
衣栉比鳞的鬼走过的走过的生命
啊四周弥漫雾气
啊我在空旷的墓地
老去后还爱你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲钢琴
我给的思念太小心
你埋葬的地方就有你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
那些断翅的蜻蜓散落在这森林
而我的眼睛没有丝毫同情
失去你泪水混浊无情
失去你我连笑容都有阴影
我站在满心期待的屋顶
嘲笑我的伤心
像一口没有水的枯井
我用尽我的自信
要我后悔莫急等待爱情
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
跟夜风一样的声音
心碎的很好听
手在键盘敲钢琴
我给的思念太小心
你埋葬的地方就有你
为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲
纪念我死去的爱情
而我为你隐姓埋名
在月光下弹琴
对你心跳的感应
还是如此温热亲近
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
一群嗜血的蚂蚁被腐肉所吸引
我面无表情看孤独的风景
失去你爱开始分明
失去你还有什么事好关心
那鸽子不再象征和平
我终于被提醒捆着手我现在是奴隶
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Stupid body
At the request of Mr D, I cut my hair. More like layered it.
And I think I look dumb in it. Its making my hair sticking out like some kind of dry weeds cos its really dry. Yes, I think my hair is finally damaged. I had been a lazy girl and have not been taking care of myself properly these days. I never use any conditioners nor any treatment.
Actually I think I have not been taking of myself properly since I don know when. I am just too lazy to be like any normal girls, pampering themselves with moisturizers, lotions and stuff like that. Its such a dread to have to apply this and that on one's body. I think I am lazy to the point where the only thing I ever do for my body is to shower it, wash it, clean it and then dry it. Thats it.
And now I am regretting it. My gastric is weak, my skin is bad and I am having a kind of stupid fungi infection.
For the past week, I had been popping pills like popping sweets. Its kinda scary. This is the first time I have ever eaten so many pills in a week. Pills for my skin infection, then pills for my weak gastric, pills for my runny nose, pills for my fever and pills for don know what fuck!
The problem is that I have never been nice to my body and its a little too difficult to change my attitue towards it. I was often asked why do I abused my body so much. I guess its cos I hated it. Its ugly, it stinks and it produces waste. Its just a piece of equipment to me.
Oh well, I guess I should just pamper myself more. Its better late than never.
Anyone need a companion for a moisturizing session?
And I think I look dumb in it. Its making my hair sticking out like some kind of dry weeds cos its really dry. Yes, I think my hair is finally damaged. I had been a lazy girl and have not been taking care of myself properly these days. I never use any conditioners nor any treatment.
Actually I think I have not been taking of myself properly since I don know when. I am just too lazy to be like any normal girls, pampering themselves with moisturizers, lotions and stuff like that. Its such a dread to have to apply this and that on one's body. I think I am lazy to the point where the only thing I ever do for my body is to shower it, wash it, clean it and then dry it. Thats it.
And now I am regretting it. My gastric is weak, my skin is bad and I am having a kind of stupid fungi infection.
For the past week, I had been popping pills like popping sweets. Its kinda scary. This is the first time I have ever eaten so many pills in a week. Pills for my skin infection, then pills for my weak gastric, pills for my runny nose, pills for my fever and pills for don know what fuck!
The problem is that I have never been nice to my body and its a little too difficult to change my attitue towards it. I was often asked why do I abused my body so much. I guess its cos I hated it. Its ugly, it stinks and it produces waste. Its just a piece of equipment to me.
Oh well, I guess I should just pamper myself more. Its better late than never.
Anyone need a companion for a moisturizing session?
Words
I really wanted to write something worthwhile in this space here but it seems like I have nothing much to say these days. Its either I am facing a writer's block or I am temporarily having a very irritating inability to express myself in words. That should not be anything new since most people have a certain treshold of ability to express themselves, more so in writings. However, for someone like me, who has a very huge problem in expressing myself, its a very frustrating affair for me to be not able to even put my thoughts and feelings into words.
Its like eating something which does not agree with your gastric and you want to throw it out, yet unable to cos your throat is all closed up, sitched up tightly not allowing you to get rid of what you have in your tummy.
Its terrible and I hate it.
Speaking of words, its funny how sometimes a simple word can bring forth such vast meaning and significance, where the whole landscape just changed and got altered because of a single word. Something empty just got filled and became clearer. One can almost said that its incomprehensible that something as empty as a word can actually result in miracles and change the entire scenario.
Its amazing.
Amazing is the word that I have been using these days. Its amazing how sometimes when you look at the surface of things, its so much different from what you will experience when you are in the midst of it all. The surface of a pond can be so calm and peaceful and yet when you are inside the water, its amazingly rough and scary.
Its amazing how 2 people can be so dependent on each other that when one is gone, the other will lost her meaning to live. Its rather scary to be even having such thoughts. Eelin told me it is indeed scary to be so comfortable and so dependent on someone else. Yes, I totally agree with her. Its scary, and it freaks the hell out of me whenever I think about it. Is this some kind of a twisted joke that God, or whichever higher entity is playing on us human? Pairing 2 humans together, mould them into a single mind and make them so dependent on each other that they cannot survive without the other and then forcefully tear them apart through death? That thought just fill me up with dread.
And I wonder how my parents will survive should one of them is gone. In fact, I wonder if how I would survive if any one of them is gone.
Thats the extent of love. The single most powerful word in this realm, in my opinion.
Its like eating something which does not agree with your gastric and you want to throw it out, yet unable to cos your throat is all closed up, sitched up tightly not allowing you to get rid of what you have in your tummy.
Its terrible and I hate it.
Speaking of words, its funny how sometimes a simple word can bring forth such vast meaning and significance, where the whole landscape just changed and got altered because of a single word. Something empty just got filled and became clearer. One can almost said that its incomprehensible that something as empty as a word can actually result in miracles and change the entire scenario.
Its amazing.
Amazing is the word that I have been using these days. Its amazing how sometimes when you look at the surface of things, its so much different from what you will experience when you are in the midst of it all. The surface of a pond can be so calm and peaceful and yet when you are inside the water, its amazingly rough and scary.
Its amazing how 2 people can be so dependent on each other that when one is gone, the other will lost her meaning to live. Its rather scary to be even having such thoughts. Eelin told me it is indeed scary to be so comfortable and so dependent on someone else. Yes, I totally agree with her. Its scary, and it freaks the hell out of me whenever I think about it. Is this some kind of a twisted joke that God, or whichever higher entity is playing on us human? Pairing 2 humans together, mould them into a single mind and make them so dependent on each other that they cannot survive without the other and then forcefully tear them apart through death? That thought just fill me up with dread.
And I wonder how my parents will survive should one of them is gone. In fact, I wonder if how I would survive if any one of them is gone.
Thats the extent of love. The single most powerful word in this realm, in my opinion.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Is it worth it?
You know something, its been quite a while since I met up with any of my friends. Friends from my school days, friends I know from the forum. The only person that I have been meeting these days seem to be the most unexpected person, one whom I would not even be expecting to be talking 2 months earlier! Life works in a strange way sometimes.
I missed seeing all my friends. I missed the days when I would be seeing my girlfriends from my schools. I missed us teasing each other for the silly antics that we were always getting into. I missed seeing Alex's motherly ways, Constance Ah Lian ways, Wendy's cool and calm analytical mind, Janice's bad mouthed temprement. I missed Emily and HX's gossips, I missed YY's calm behaviour, I miss Eelin's silly talks.
I missed DK's long talks with me. I missed Brian's Ah Beng talking style. I missed Zhen Zhen's sometimes blur antics. I missed HJ teasing, though sometimes it just get a little on my nerves. I missed our gatherings when we can talk about anything and everything, gossiping about the different members in the forum.
Perhaps it is time I grow up. Being grown up entails so much responsibilites and sacrifices. Because of our work schedules we have to give up making time for friends and give up spending more time for what we would like to do everyday. There are so much things I want to do and so much things that I would like to experience everyday. But because of my responsiblities, I had to let go of these.
Is it really worth it?
I missed seeing all my friends. I missed the days when I would be seeing my girlfriends from my schools. I missed us teasing each other for the silly antics that we were always getting into. I missed seeing Alex's motherly ways, Constance Ah Lian ways, Wendy's cool and calm analytical mind, Janice's bad mouthed temprement. I missed Emily and HX's gossips, I missed YY's calm behaviour, I miss Eelin's silly talks.
I missed DK's long talks with me. I missed Brian's Ah Beng talking style. I missed Zhen Zhen's sometimes blur antics. I missed HJ teasing, though sometimes it just get a little on my nerves. I missed our gatherings when we can talk about anything and everything, gossiping about the different members in the forum.
Perhaps it is time I grow up. Being grown up entails so much responsibilites and sacrifices. Because of our work schedules we have to give up making time for friends and give up spending more time for what we would like to do everyday. There are so much things I want to do and so much things that I would like to experience everyday. But because of my responsiblities, I had to let go of these.
Is it really worth it?
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